Born-Again

Born-Again 5:01

Winslow had been anxiously checking her phone all morning, hoping to receive a text back from Kiernan. She had texted him a few times after going to the corn maze the night before, but he hadn't even opened the messages yet.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight! It was fun to hang out together outside of class!”

“I hope you had a good birthday :)”

“Text me in the morning?”

Winslow hoped that Kiernan was okay. He seemed different the rest of the evening, but to be fair, she did, too.

Gwen had found the exit when the guy with the axe was chasing her, so it was a very short expedition once they had all regrouped. There was a small haunted house at the exit of the maze— sort of like a grand finale— but Gwen and Marcella harassed a performer into letting them skip it, saying there was an emergency and they needed to leave.

In the parking lot, Winslow overheard Jacob telling Kiernan he shouldn't be behind the wheel. Kiernan kept insisting he was fine, but Jacob could tell it was a lie, so he gave in and handed Jacob his keys. Jacob ended up driving Kiernan home instead of carpooling with Antonio and Russ again, and he offered to drop Winslow off, too, but Gwen said her mom could take her.

Winslow had then tried to find Kiernan or any of his friends in the halls before school, but she couldn't track down any of them. She wasn't even sure if Kiernan was at school that day. He’d had such a bad experience at the end of the night, and Winslow didn't know much about asthma, but she thought maybe he'd needed to take a sick day.

Sighing, she turned off her phone. Staring at the unread messages wouldn't do her any good.

Victoria walked into the room, setting her belongings on the table and gracefully sitting down across from Winslow.

Immediately perking up with interest, Winslow said, “Hey! How's Kiernan?”

His sister gave Winslow a puzzled look. “Fine, I think. Why?”

Winslow was not at all reassured, considering Victoria didn’t seem to know why she was asking. “Oh, just wondering.” She sank back into her seat.

Buzzzzzz. Winslow’s phone vibrated in her hands and she checked it excitedly.

It was just a message from Reid, saying, “Can we talk?”

Winslow's heart sank and she typed out, “No.” She smiled to herself as she slipped her phone into the side pocket of her backpack, content to ignore Reid for the foreseeable future.

Kiernan did not respond to Winslow's messages all day, and though she considered sending a follow-up on multiple occasions, she ultimately decided against it. She didn't want to overwhelm or annoy him.

The next morning, she arrived ten minutes before her history class started; five before the warning bell even rang. Kiernan was already sitting in his seat when she ducked inside the room.

“Hi,” she offered gently, setting her textbook on the desk. She pulled out her chair, sliding her bag onto the floor and taking a seat.

“Hey.” Kiernan tried to meet her eye, but was overwhelmed by the concern on Winnie’s face. He felt guilty. She shouldn't worry about him— it wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. “I want to apologize,” he said quietly. 

Winslow had no idea what he meant. “For what?”

“I should have done something about Reid. I shouldn't have let him—”

“What?” She interrupted. “None of that is at all your fault!” She reached out and put her hands on top of his.

He tried not to focus on the gesture. He didn't deserve it. “I could have tried to stop him,” he insisted. “I could have gotten in the way.”

Winslow felt her heart fracture. He looked so ashamed, like he really thought it was somehow his fault that Reid had attacked her. “Kiernan, come on. Don't worry about it,” she whispered gently.

“I just… I don't know, I—” A few other kids from their class walked into the room, and Kiernan stopped what he was saying, pulling his hand away from Winslow's. “My asthma never gets that bad,” he said. “If I had been able to hold it together, he couldn't have—”

“Kiernan.”

He froze, finally looking at her, overcome by the sad desperation in her voice.

“I'm fine. We're fine. I like you a lot, and it would take much more than an asthma attack to ruin our friendship. Don't beat yourself up about it,” she pleaded.

Kiernan nodded, wanting to do anything to please her, but his chest ached at the realization that he had accidentally tricked her into thinking he was worth something. I like you a lot, she had said. It felt so bittersweet.

Deciding it best to move on to the other thing he wanted to tell her, Kiernan took a grounding breath. “Thanks for coming, by the way.” He really was glad she came to celebrate his birthday, even after fighting with her boyfriend— especially since they had apparently been fighting about him. He hated knowing that he was already causing contention in her life. “And thanks for the present, too,” Kiernan added.

Relief washed over Winslow's face. “Ah, do you like it, then? I wasn't quite sure what to get you, especially so last-minute. I hope you don't mind that it's homemade, or that it has flowers or anything, like, emasculating…”

Kiernan chuckled— a small, genuine sound. “What? Are you kidding?” He asked in near disbelief. “A Winslow original? That painting is going straight on my wall.”

“Okay, cool.” She smiled and her cheeks flushed a pale pink, clearly pleased that Kiernan liked the gift.

Kiernan's face heated as well, pleased that he had made Winslow smile, especially after all the problems he'd caused her.

When Reid walked into seminary later, he looked at Winslow's empty seat, then at Kiernan with a sneer. Kiernan felt worlds better than he did a few hours prior, but seeing Reid made him want to hit something.

Reid flopped into his seat, pulling out his phone. He didn't bother getting his scriptures from his cubby, even though Winslow clearly wasn't there to do it for him.

Kiernan unlocked his own phone as well, opening the text chain with Winslow.

“Where are you?” He asked.

Winslow's response came almost immediately. “The church building across the street.”

“????????????” Kiernan wrote. He followed the message with another, simply asking, “Why?”

“Hiding from Reid,” she said.

Kiernan grabbed his backpack off the floor, getting out of his seat without a second thought. Reid turned around at the noise, but Kiernan ignored him, turning and leaving as he hefted his backpack onto his shoulder and shoved his scriptures into his cubby. He pushed open the seminary building doors and headed for the road in front of the school. He had to wait at the crosswalk for a moment, but a car eventually stopped for him. He waved at the stranger, hefting his backpack again and trekking across the road, not bothering to use the little orange flags pedestrians were supposed to carry for visibility. Walking down the opposite sidewalk and passing several houses, Kiernan soon turned into the church lot.

Looking for Winslow, he walked around the perimeter of the church, having to follow a small driveway to the back parking lot.

When he finally spotted her, she was sitting on the back steps of the church. She had her scriptures open and was highlighting a verse.

Approaching her, he couldn't help but chuckle. “You're ditching seminary to go to a church and read your scriptures?”

She looked up at him, her face immediately brightening. “I figured it was only fair.”

He sat down next to her on the steps, resting his forearms on his knees. “Are you doing okay?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She put the cap back on her highlighter, taking a deep breath.

“You said you were hiding. That doesn't sound okay.”

“I'm just mad,” she said with a small pout that caused her chin to dimple. “I haven't talked to Reid since what went down at the corn maze, and honestly I still don't even know what to say to him.”

“You can talk to me about it,” Kiernan offered. “If you want.”

“I think I just want to forget it even happened.”

“We can do that. Wanna get lunch?”

Winslow raised an eyebrow at him.

“We can take my sister's car,” he said. “We'll be back before fourth period and she won't even know it was gone.” He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and held them up, jingling them.

“Hmmmm…” Winslow cracked a smile, considering the offer but pretending she wasn't.

“We can eat in a temple parking lot so you're still even for skipping, or whatever.”

Her small smile broke into a grin. “Fine,” she said, "but you're buying.” She closed her scriptures and snapped the cover closed, then tossed her pens into their case before loading everything into her backpack. Kiernan stood up first, offering her a hand as she rose.

They walked back across the street and to the side of the school building, where Victoria had parked that morning. It was the same little red sedan they had been in at the corn maze and when Kiernan had his sister drive Winslow home.

Kiernan rushed past Winslow and opened the passenger door for her. She laughed, her eyes crinkling in a way that made Kiernan's stomach tumble.

“What? It gets stuck.”

“I didn't say anything!” She said it defensively, but still followed it up with another pure laugh.

Kiernan moved around the car and got into the driver’s seat, turning on the ignition. Putting his hand on the back of Winslow’s seat, he started backing out of the parking spot. “Where do you wanna go?” He asked.

Winslow thought for a moment. “Somewhere with good fries.”

“How about Wendy's? We can each get a Frosty, too. You ever dip the fries in one?”

“Oh, I love that!” Winslow gushed. “Especially when the fries are extra salty.”

“Sounds like a plan, then.” Kiernan picked up the aux cord and handed it to Winslow. “Put on some music?”

“What should I play?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Do you like country?”

He chuckled. He definitely did not. “I said you can play whatever,” he repeated.

“Okay, but do you like country?” Winslow genuinely wanted to know, and she also wanted to play something they'd both enjoy.

“It's… bearable,” Kiernan chose the word carefully.

“That's definitely a no, then,” Winslow laughed.

“What, and you do?” He really couldn't picture her at a rodeo or doing a line dance or anything of the sort.

“I mean, yeah… Some of it.”

“Really?” He asked skeptically. “You like music about guns and beer and hot women?”

“No,” she folded her arms in protest. “I like music about, like, God,” she said. “And love.”

He looked at her, immediately melting at the way her eyes shone in the sunlight. “Okay,” he murmured. “Show me.”