Prelude to Touchdown
May 31, 2014
kae
Top comment
Hi! As i have predicted... I really like the idea of this story. Although it reminds me of "Area D" by Kyouichi Nanatsuki, having the abilities and being called "Extrano" which is "Altered" in Area D… that said, I'm surprised and happy that you have come up with an entirely different thing. (and i hope you continue to do so)
I liked the idea that there is just one ability that all the "Extrano" have acquired, and that is to absorb and use any elements/objects, they just differ with levels. My only suggestion is to not limit the 4th level to one user because if you do so, then that person will be the God in this series that no one can beat. I know it is too early to assume that there will only be one because this is just the start, but to be safe i have to say it.. :D who knows maybe in later chapters they will discover a 5th level user, because they do not know every "Extrano" right? there may be even more levels! Now you have to think about what it might be! sorry… i'm giving you a hard time.. hehe..
anyway… with regards to how you explain the levels, i could quite understand it, but i think it could be explained better. Or maybe you can include the total numbers of known "Extrano" in the prologue just to give us (the readers) a view of the extent of the said phenomenon. And so if you say like "there's only 1 in every 100 Extrano" i would know that 1 in every 100 is a pretty big rarity since the known "Extrano" are only over 3000. (you don't have to listen to me really! But i want to help!) … maybe you can also add more "Amazement!" when the newbie is just hearing about this stuff. Especially when he discovered that Julia, their Unit Chief, is the only known 4th level user!
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In 2037, "The Spike" occurred. Spatial anomalies of unknown origin opened up in the skies over several countries, instantly overloading everything electrical within a two hundred mile radius. From this disaster individuals with strange powers began to appear; an ability known as "Extrano". Indispensable as soldiers, many of these individuals were drafted into military and police organisations. The largest of these: Interpol and the UN.
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