My older brother passed away the morning I woke up. I was excited because it was my birthday. Unlike the other kids who had birthdays in the beginning of the year, I was nearly a year behind as I was born in December. It bothered me to no end when my best friend turned 18 in February in the same year because when it was finally my turn to be 18, she would be 19 in just a few months.

When the day finally came, I stepped out of bed in a great mood, completely unaware that my older brother was just a few breaths away from dying. I ran down the halls and made a ruckus––I even tripped on the way to the living room, but what confused me the most was the fact that there was no one in the house. My mother didn’t prepare a birthday breakfast for me as she promised to do the night before.

I got angry that no one was there to wish me a happy birthday. My best friend lived blocks away and I had no other family nearby either. I got mad at my mother just because she wasn’t in the house and even felt a bit annoyed at Suho for having such a defective immune system. I sat around for hours until I heard my mother fumble with her keys. She opened our front door and shuffled around before entering the living room.

Then I saw it; the same broken look she had on the day we had to put my father to rest for good. All of the guilt came rushing at me because I got angry for no reason.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and whispered, “Taehee-ah…”

I was silent because I knew what had happened. I didn’t want to hear it but for some reason, I couldn’t move.

“Taehee-ah…” my mother whispered again. “Jihoon…We lost him, too.” Then she sat on the cold hardwood floor and broke down. “The last thing he said was that he loved you to pieces…and that he wanted you to live a lot longer than he did,” she sobbed.

I stood there with my fists clenched at my sides, unable to accept he was truly gone. He was barely breathing the day before and even though some people told me to expect his death, the fact that he was no longer with us hit me pretty hard.

I stood in the middle of the living room with my eyes rimmed with tears before grabbing my older brother’s jacket that hung on the wall by the door. “I’m going outside,” I whispered.

I sat outside in the cold with Suho’s winter jacket on. It had started snowing but I couldn’t stop crying, and it would be hard to forget because from now on, every time I become a year older, I would just be reminded of my brother’s pitiful death. He died alone in his sleep; no one was with him, and I felt so bad for not staying by his side.

Across from me on the other side was a man who was around my age. He stood there and watched for a while. I must’ve cried for a long time because he was able to walk over to where I was without having me notice.

He stood in front of me for a few minutes and let me cry. He didn’t say anything to me either, and I couldn’t find words myself.

The sleeves on the jacket were a bit too long on me, so without a word, he gently reached for my arms and rolled them up. He zipped my jacket up and brushed the snow out of my hair.

“Go inside,” he said softly. “It’s cold.”

I think it’s because he is genetically modified to be kind, or maybe he did this for others, too––maybe this meant nothing to him, but for me, it was something I would never forget.

It was a simple gesture, but it was also the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.