"Charge me what?" I laughed. "I can flood the mountain path you take to get up here. You wouldn't be able to reach this place unless you had wings."

That got her attention.

"Fine," she said. "I won't charge you rent, but I demand your blessing."

"My what?"

"You're a spirit, aren't you? That means you're immortal. I want the same powers you have."

I laughed. "Uh, yeah. No."

"Why not?" she whined.

"Because spirit powers are not for humans," I stated the obvious. "You have to be a spirit to control them, which means you wouldn't be human anymore."

"So?"

"I’m not sure if that’s a path you want to walk down," I explained. "Think about it. Not being human means no more parties or spa days or delicious bakery items."

"Bakery—? I have no idea what you’re talking about."

Humans are so cute when they lie. "Right. All those secret rendezvous’ with that one baker? I know you want everyone to think there’s something romantic going on between you two. But you’re really just using him for his hot fresh buns."

“How dare you—!”

"Don’t deny it. I’ve seen things." Seeing visions in the pool is a perk of being a water spirit.

She thought for a moment. "All right, I won't charge you rent or ask for your blessing. But I do require something of you. I am the Empress, after all."

I rolled my eyes. "And what's that?"

"Answer me this," she said. "Am I the most beautiful in the land?"

That was a weird thing to ask anyone—spirit or not. "Pardon?"

She huffed. "I've asked the servants, but they always say yes because they're afraid that I'll have them executed if they don't."

"Isn’t that because you do?"

"That's beside the point!” she snapped. “You're a spirit, which means you cannot lie. Correct?"

That was one of the non-perks of being a spirit. "That's right."

"Then answer me. Am I the most beautiful in the land?"

This conversation was getting weirder by the minute. But I shrugged. "Sure."

She looked directly at me. "You mean that?"

"You just said I couldn't lie. So yes, Miss Designer-Kimonos-Perfect-Hair. You’re the most beautiful woman in the land." And I shut my mouth.

She smiled. Then, without even a thank you, she left.

When she was out of earshot, my spiritual non-perk forced my mouth open to let out the rest of the words: "For now."