“I saw the note you left me. I’m surprised you didn’t catch Jez and me throwing glances at each other, trying to communicate silently so you wouldn’t know what we were doing. You are so oblivious,” he laughed.

“I really didn’t know! But I do know Jez well enough to know that she doesn’t do anything by accident.”

“Well, in any case, you’re welcome. Is this your way of thanking me?” He asked as he sniffed the air delicately, “You know I love mama’s cooking.”

Mama Suzuki had moved back to Japan shortly after my birthday to help her brother and his wife with their newborn twins. She’d always been very nurturing, so from what I gathered no one in their family was surprised when she made the offer. I suspected that she also wanted to get away for a while, to keep busy and away from thoughts of how her best friend had passed away.

Though Kai’s Dad, Takuya, wasn’t entirely enthusiastic about the idea, he agreed to it with the stipulation that she came home before the holidays. He would never hold mama back from something she really wanted to do, even if it affected him.

Everyone seemed to wilt a little with mama away. I suspected it must have been extremely tough on Kai, and as I had thought he would be, Kai seemed to be genuinely pleased with the prospect of eating his mom’s cooking, even though it was actually prepared by me.

“It sure is! I’m making oven chicken,” I said. Although it was a simple recipe, she didn’t make it often, only relying on it when she was short on time. It was tasty, and growing up it had been one of Kai’s favorite meals. I had been very glad to see the bag of chicken wings and drumettes in the freezer.

“It’s been awhile,” he smiled.

“It really has,” I replied as I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a jar of takuan. “We have some left over tsukemono from the last time we went grocery shopping, so it’ll really be like your mama’s here cooking for you.”



“Hey, Kai...,” I said, suddenly and somewhat randomly.

“Yeah?” He asked, acknowledging me before he shoveled a bite of rice and takuan into his mouth.

“I was wondering, I don’t keep tabs on your love life or anything but in the time I’ve lived with you, you haven’t been on a date.”

I looked down at my plate, too nervous to make eye contact with him for fear that he’d be able to read my face and know that I’d seen the search results on his tablet. When I glanced up tentatively I saw that he was holding his index finger up to indicate that I’d get my answer after he was done chewing.

“I’m too busy to date,” he said simply.

I bit my lip as I tried to think of a way to coerce a name out of him without revealing my earlier gaffe.

“Kai, you’re smart and handsome. As I recall when you were in high school, there were quite a few girls that liked you.”

I looked up, staring directly at him, as I took a moment to assess his good looks. Just two years ago, when we had been in school together, his thick jet black hair had been a little longer and he’d frequently worn circle lens contacts that mama would buy for him whenever she went to Japan. Nowadays he almost never wore contacts, instead opting for glasses with a smart black frame, and often styled his messy black hair in a way that reminded me a bit of the K-pop star Lay from the group EXO.

Maybe that’s what his goal was, I thought. After all, we used to spend a lot of time listening to J-pop, K-pop, and Mando-pop back when things were different before my grief had settled deep into my bones. My mom always thought it was a little weird that Kai and I listened to K-pop and Mando-pop even though we didn’t understand it, but she always supported it nonetheless. The thought made me smile.

“None of them,” he paused, probably thrown off by my sudden smile, “I mean, no one—from school or work—has ever interested me in that way.”

“Oh,” was all I said in reply.

“What made you think about this so suddenly?” His eyes narrowed into suspicious lines.

“Nothing, really, I just thought that you could use some fun in your life, Mr. Workaholic.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Vilv, between work and college, worrying about you is all the fun I can handle right now.”

Heart pain.

I put my hands in the air to signify defeat. “Okay, I get it. You’re really, really busy. But if you do like someone, I’d be happy to aid in the process of getting you two together,” I said with a wink.

“Thanks, I suppose,” he said with an exasperated sigh before returning to his meal.

“You’re welcome, bestie,” I winked again, even though it was superfluous because I thought it would make him smile. I was right.

“Vilv,” he said, a smile still spread across his face, “I just want you to know I had fun with you today.”

Kai’s smile made me happy, but it broke my heart that I had been the one to rob him of it for so many months.