Read The Hopeless And The Cynical :: Chapter 6

On the way to the house, I look around and see the dark, gloomy and rainy Seattle that I loved. But now I didn't feel like falling back in love with this place.

When I finally reach home, I park outside and see the lights are on so I assume that Jeremy is inside.

Chatting up some poor girl that doesn't realize that he is just going to bang her. Then drop her off at the nearest bus station.

God, it's sad.

I get out of the car and walk up to the door and reach into my pockets and get out my key. I put it into the lock and open the door just enough so that I could see if Jeremy was having fun with his guest.

"Don't worry! No one is here!" I hear Jeremy scream from inside and I open the door and walk in and throw my bag to the side and then slam the door shut.

"It's just me, Jeremy. Had a bad dinner?" I hear Jeremy say from the kitchen so I walk in and see him sitting at the counter, with a bottle of gin and smoking.

I walk near him and pull the cigarette out of his mouth and give him a dirty look and he laughs.

Before he can take another chug of the gin, I pull it away and put in the fridge and sit on the counter and turn to him.

"What the hell are you doing Jeremy?" I say in an angry tone so he knew I wasn't in the mood to joke around or banter.

"Well as you could see I was smoking and drinking. Then my pussy of a roommate comes home and thinks he needs to take care of me so he takes my cigarette and drink. Right now I'm fighting the urge to punch him in the god damn face" Jeremy says in a sad and pissed off tone.

"I'm doing this because you are a doctor and my best friend! I want you to be healthy so that you can make others healthy!" I scream at him and I feel my eyes become a bit watery.

"Ya well in case you haven't noticed, I'm a little pissed off since I just broke up with my girl!" he screams at me

His girl? Did he actually love Alice? That's impossible but everyone can feel love, even the most pathetic of us feel love and need love.

"I'm sorry. It's just that, I got a call from Alec" I try to say. I see something move and I look up and see Jeremy standing, looking angrier than before.

He is clenching his fists and his jaw is tense. "What the fuck did he say?!" he asks me.

"Oh nothing, just that he used to date Catherine and that I was not in her league and I should move on" I say.

"That bastard! I'm sorry Matt, I am" I just nod and see that his face becomes full of pity.

"Hey I'll be fine and I'm sure Alec is just bull-shiting me, right?" I ask with a little hope that he might just be pranking me like he used to do when we were younger.

"Yes! Just keep that hope! You hopeless romantic, I love you so don't worry" he smiles.

I thank him and say "hey I'm going to bed. I had a busy day and I need to get to work tomorrow by 8"

"Holy shit! 8? That rough bro. well goodnight" he replies and I smile and say "goodnight"

I walk out of the kitchen and out in the hallway and look to the left where the living room was and how shitty it looked.

I continue down the hallway and see all the pictures of Jeremy and his family, him and me on graduation day. He and his co-workers, his certificates. A small picture of me and my father and mother.

I get to the end of the hallway and look to the right where Jeremy's bedroom is. I open the door a bit and see that his room is as clean as ever, Even though we live in a dumb.

I turn to the left and open the door and switch on the lights and see the room that is a dumb but it's also what I call home.

I walk in and throw my bag to the right and take off my shoes and throw them to the left. I go to my closet and take out my boxers and tank top.

I take off the way too uncomfortable suit and put on the blue loose boxers and the white tank top. I'm sure all douches wear.

I lie in bed and cover my eyes with my forearm and think that maybe it was pathetic of me to believe in romance, in love and all that other cheesy stuff.

I always end up getting hurt.

But love was such an amazing feeling that I just couldn't give up and I never should. Love is what brought me into this world.

I pick up my phone from my arm and look through my photos.

I see pictures of me and Jeremy, some selfies of me that I was too embarrassed to post, pictures of my exes. I delete them, and in the end there are pictures of my family. Photos of my mum and me, my dad and me and then pictures of his mistresses that I despise.

There is this one large family photo with all my half brothers and sisters. My brother and my sister, my mother, my father. And the 3 mistresses.

I hate them all and I have good reasons to, they are horrible and would destroy my hopes and dreams.

My mother was the only one who would protect me and treated me with kindness. She told me about love and how I have a large heart that deserved to shower on a special person.

I begin to tear up but hold back but then I see pictures of her when she was sick, she in the hospital and it all comes back to me.

How she loved me, how she taught me as much as she could before they took her to the hospital. They diagnosed her, how the whole family reacted.

The mistresses we glad since they would get more attention. The half siblings were cold. They couldn't care less.

My brother and sister were in so much pain. I had to stay strong since I was the oldest of all the siblings and half siblings.

And then she stayed in the hospital, for months and months until finally they put her out of her suffering. I still have all the things she taught me in my notebook from when I was younger.

Alec is one of the half-brothers who despised me because I was older and smarter than him. But when we grew up he became a big man and I gave up trying. Now he takes whatever chance he gets, to shove it in my face.

I look at my contacts to get my mind off of it and see her name: Catherine Chapman. I keep staring at it for about 5 minutes but then go to messages and send

Hello Matthew

I smile and type

You can call me Matt, you know?

Okay I will. What’s up?

Oh nothing, just wanted to talk. Hope I’m not disturbing you though

Oh no, I was awake but I might not be able to reply quick since I cut my hand on a piece of glass

What? I really hope she’s fine

Oh no, why were there glass pieces?

Oh I accidentally dropped a glass

Well take care of your hand then

I will matt

I suddenly feel my hand moving by itself and I don’t think at all