2.10.14

I hate my parents. I hate my parents. I hate my goddamn parents!

I thought everything was going to be fine. I thought they weren’t going to sell me off to some Maximum Ride-esque facility to live out the rest of my days. But, apparently, I was wrong.

I walked down the stairs this morning cradling my arm to my chest. When I reached the landing of the stairwell, I could see my dad watching TV.

“Dad…?” I said.

He looked up and smiled, raising his cup of coffee to me. “Good morning, Avery.”

“Dad, I don’t-” My voice broke, after a deep breath, I tried again. “I changed my mind about-”

“About being a test subject.” Sorrow flooded into my dad’s face.

I could feel tears welling in my eyes as I nodded.

“I know, Avery. I thought you would.” My dad’s voice grew gentle. “And I did too.”

“You won’t let them-” I faltered. “You won’t let them experiment on me, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Thank you.” Reassured, I settled down on the couch and stared blankly at the news show on TV. After a good ten minutes, I took a shaky breath.

“Dad, I…” I pulled my legs up to my chest. “I did it again last night.”

My dad leapt up from his recliner. “Oh my god, Avery!”

He reached out and grabbed my hands, I flinched away.

My dad looked at me sadly. “Let me look.”

After a moment’s hesitation, I held out my hands yet again. My dad gently took my hands and rotated them until the underside of my arms faced upwards.

Among dozens of thin, white scars laid fresh scabs. I’d done a terrible job of cleaning the blood away, my hands had been shaking far too much to clean myself up.

I looked up at my dad and saw the disappointment in his eyes. “I thought you said you wouldn’t do this anymore.”

“I didn’t want to.” I glared back at him. “Your stupid tour drove me to it.”

The disappointment was immediately replaced with shame. “Oh, Avery.” My father breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“You should be.”

My dad stood up and grabbed the first aid kit from on top of the TV stand. “At least let me bandage them up.”

I stuck out my arm. “If you must.”

My dad cleaned the blood off my arms, going back over the scabs with an alcohol swab, then, with the precision of a surgical doctor, bandaged my arm.

“There,” he said as he fastened the bandage together. “They won’t get infected now, at least.”

“Thanks.” I said as I rolled my sleeves over the bandages, hiding them from sight.

“You could just give me the razor, Avery.” My dad said. “Getting over this habit would be so much easier if you just told me where it-”

“No,” I said.

My dad looked at the floor, defeated. “I just… don’t want to lose you.”

I let out a cold laugh. “It didn’t seem like it yesterday.”

“I know! I know. I was… so stupid to think I would let you be subjected to that kind of… cruelty. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Distress crept into my dad’s voice. “When your mother gets down here we can tell her you don’t want to go.”

I allowed a spark of hope to ignite in my chest. “You promise you won’t let them take me?”

My dad nodded. “I promise.”

Ha.

We waited in the living room for what felt like an eternity. Finally, when my mom walked in the door, my dad stood up. “Lucrezia, we need to talk.”

My mom looked almost bored. “About what?”

“About our son.”

My mom looked over at me, her eyes drinking up every detail. “What about him?”

“You can’t seriously think we’re going to let April do whatever the hell she wants with him, do you?”

“Is that not what Avery wants?” My mom glanced over at me.

“No, it’s not!” My dad drew my mom’s attention back to him. She studied his expression before turning back toward me.

“Is that true?”

“Yes, it is!” My dad said.

“I was asking him!” My mom gestured at me.

Taken by surprise, I wasn’t sure what to say. “Y- yes, it’s true.” I agreed.

There was silence for a good thirty seconds, before my mom let out a small smile.

“Okay.” She walked toward the door. “Then let’s drive up to Future Tech and let April know you’re no longer interested.”

“You want me to go back?” I was taken aback.

“It’s always better to tell people you’re backing out of something in person.” She said.

My father’s eyes narrowed. “I’m coming with you.”

A small flash of contempt crossed my mother’s face. “All right,” she said. “Let’s hit the road.”

The drive back up to Future Tech was tense. My father attempted to crack a few jokes, but each time he was met with stony silence. I twiddled my thumbs, doing my best to keep myself from puking up what little I had in my stomach, and my mom, who was driving the car, kept her eyes locked on the road in front of her. When we finally pulled into the Future Tech parking lot, I could see her relax, whereas my nerves tripled in size.

We climbed out of the car and my mom led us into the building and through the pathway we took yesterday, though I noticed that she carefully avoided the room where the test subjects were kept. Eventually, we found ourselves standing in front of April’s office.

“This is it.” My mom said and pushed the door open, allowing me and my father inside.

The room looked exactly the same as it did yesterday, but my attention was immediately drawn to the two people standing on either side of April.

The man on her left looked like an average bodyguard, so aside from how intimidating he was, there was nothing special about him. What caught my attention was the thin woman to his left with skin that was so pale and gray, she looked more like a corpse than a living person. She wore a red cape overtop of an almost steampunk looking outfit. Her eyes were a dull shade of purple that would have been impossible for any human to have, and her cheeks bore scars that protruded away from her mouth, curving into the sides of her head. They were held together by stitches, but they looked like they’d been there so long, the skin appeared fused to the thread.

“Kacy, Romano, good to see you.” My mom greeted them with the first genuine smile I’d seen from her all day.

“Pleasure.” The scarred woman, Kacy, I assume, purred.

“Is he ready?” April fixed her gaze on me.

I looked over at my mom, pleading with my eyes. I didn’t want to tell this freak show exactly what was on my mind, but when my mom replied, I felt my heart drop to my shoes.

“He’s ready.”

Instantly, Kacy lashed out and grabbed my arm. She traced a path up the side of my face, cackling. “Oh, I am going to have so much fun with you!”

My chest contracted, I couldn’t breathe, I felt my stomach churn as it readied itself to empty its contents onto the floor.

She lied to me.

“Now hold on a second!” My dad started.

“Frank,” April’s voice was totally calm. “If you so much as try to fight this you will suffer the same fate as your son.”

My dad shut his mouth with a small squeak.

April turned her emotionless eyes to her bodyguards. “Take him away.”

“No.” I choked out.

Romano grabbed my other arm, his rough hand strong enough to cut of my blood circulation. The pair began to haul me to the exit.

“No! No!” I screamed.

I was facing in toward the office, I could see my parents. My mom stood there, although her hands were fidgeting, she had a half smile on her face. My dad had a look of shock on his.

We locked eyes.

“Dad!” I sobbed. “You promised!”

My dad looked away, shame darkening his eyes.

Hot tears flowed unbarred down my face now. “You promised!” I shrieked as the door to the office closed, like the lens of a camera, sealing a picture of the scene into my mind.

--

Kacy and Romano dragged me into a small, tiled room, Romano stood outside the door and locked me and Kacy inside.

The room had greenish-gray lockers running up and down the walls and a small bench in the center of it all. It couldn’t have fit more than two people inside of it. The room was dingy, and I could spy a puddle of what appeared to be dried blood off in one of the corners.

“Take off your clothes.” Kacy commanded.

“W- can I get some privacy?” I asked

“Take off your clothes!” Kacy repeated.

Cautiously, I unbuttoned my flannel and removed it. I took off my shoes, socks, and pants. I reached for my underwear, but when I touched the band, I looked up at Kacy.

“Those can stay on.” She assured me. She then sauntered over to one of the lockers, it opened with a loud clang and she threw a shiny piece of fabric at me.

I held it out at arm’s length, it appeared to be a jumpsuit made of a strange swimsuit material. It had a white band in the middle of the chest with the number 214 emblazoned on it.

“I’m pretty sure this is too small for me.” I said, flashing pathetic eyes at her to try to sway her to my side.

“You’d be surprised who those fit on.” I stared at her for a few more seconds, but Kacy was undeterred, and eventually I caved. As I dressed, Kacy went on. “They’re made to stretch, they have to be able to fit some… unexpected mutations. You’d be amazed the sort of stuff I’ve seen! Of course, most of those test subjects die upon mutation, but at least their corpses are an advancement of science!” She cackled, her eyes sparkled as she pictured the brutal murders I had to assume she committed.

When I pulled my arm through the last sleeve, she gave me a pair of gray rubber boots.

“Oh, Avery, I have so many great plans for you!” Her scarred mouth curved into a broad smile. “You’re going to me my work of art!”

“What are you going to do to me?” I felt my heart leap to my throat.

“Ah-ah-ah!” Kacy sang. “No questions! Only heartfelt compliments!”

Kacy then gripped my arm and led me out the door, where Romano helped drag me along into the rows of cells. At this point, I felt numb. I was shaking, wracked with chills, my body was covered in a cold sweat, but they continued like they didn’t notice any of it.

I watched as the numbers of the cells kept counting down, starting at 250. As we neared 220 I realized what the numbers meant. What the number on my jumpsuit meant. I mentally counted down the cells like their numbers were the seconds I had left to live..

220… 219… 218… 216… 215.. 214.

Kacy let go of my arm to fiddle with the number pad on the door. She pressed her thumb to a scanner at the top of the machine then punched in a code, methodically switching between fingers, which I assume means that the buttons had scanners in them too.

Or, in other words, there was no chance of escaping here.

The door opened with a loud buzz and Kacy turned to me with a gleeful smile on her face.

“Oh don’t look so blue, kid! It’s actually very nice in these rooms!” She said. “I would know, I’ve spent a full year in one of them.”

Rooms. That’s what she called them? Defeated, I allowed Romano to throw me into the cell, where I collapsed in a heap.

“I’ll check on you tomorrow!” Kacy said as she closed the door. The loud buzz came again as the door locked, and that was that.

I was now their prisoner.

I didn’t move for at least an hour. I stayed curled up on the floor sobbing my eyes out, unable to move, unable to exhale without releasing a loud sob. My cries echoed off of the metal walls and the metal floor underneath me sent cold pulsing through my body. Eventually, I began to feel dizzy from crying and I forced myself to stop and assess the situation. I hauled myself to my feet and started wandering around the room.

The room was fairly small, an 8 foot by 8 foot square. A bed sat in the right corner nearest to the door. A large chest lay at the foot of it, but when I peeked inside, I could only find jumpsuits and gray boots, just like what I was already wearing. On the other side of the room stood a desk and a chair, the desk actually had a lamp and a cup full of pens and pencils on it, which surprised me, I wasn’t sure what this evil company would want to give their test subjects that would require a desk. Finally, in the corner furthest from the door, was a bookshelf completely stocked with books.

I wandered over to the bookshelf to see what sort of propaganda they were trying to fill my head with, but I was surprised when I saw that they were totally normal books. I could see The Secret Garden and The Odyssey, as well as a ton of other classic books, but that wasn’t all that was inside. The complete Harry Potter series took up almost an entire shelf, and there was a bloody copy of Eragon. But, as I continued to scan the shelves, a familiar looking, black-bound book caught my eye. Gingerly, I tugged it from the shelf and it fell into my lap.

It was a lined journal, bound with black fabric, marked with the Future Tech logo.

My journal.

The last puzzle piece fell into place. The package. It was this journal. My parents had been meaning to spring this idea on me for months. They gave me this journal with the full intention of shipping me off to become one of their test subjects. April wanted to have the package for a psych eval. They’re using this journal to study my mental state. I… I cannot believe this.

But what I can’t believe any more is that, even though I know someone at Future Tech will read this, I’m still writing in it.

Why?