“There’s nothing wrong in making mistakes. What’s wrong is letting a mistake stay as a mistake… without the effort of making it right.”

Day 3 – Reminisced Day

My fingers caressed a small glittering rock, each stroke taking my mind into different trips to memory lane. It wasn’t the best journey; after all who wanted to revisit their unhappy memories? Only the masochists, and honestly, I didn’t consider myself one. But it was necessary. I had to sort things out.

I took one deep breath as I eyed the careful details of the familiar rock. For the past years, it had been my source of strength, the thing where I poured all my sorrows in. What my diary didn’t know, this rock witnessed for sure. After all, he gave it to me.

Its smooth surface gave a faint, iridescent glow.

I smiled.

I couldn’t take my mind off what happened last night. Even though I was so pathetic I had to run away, I considered it one of the best days in my life. I never dreamed nor imagined to actually play around with Aethan. What’s more, I didn’t dare hope to be almost kissed by that guy.

Almost.

I sighed. I wish I didn’t punch him. I wish he continued what he was doing. I wonder if his lips were as soft and gentle as they appeared…

Snap out of it!

Sheesh, I must be drooling! But still… oh my god. What’s wrong with me? Thinking like a lovesick high school girl, well, there’s no way – absolutely no way – I am one, right? I just like the guy – admire him – but that’s it. Period. Aethan’s just so nice it would be impossible for anyone to dislike him.

He was different than the other popular guys. He cares for others, wholeheartedly, without flaunting it or asking for favors. Past his arrogance and superficiality, he remained kind. It’s just that he hides it, most of the time.

Why? To fit in, of course.

I just wish he hadn’t changed so much.

Seven years ago, back when my family was complete, Uncle Anthony asked my dad and mom to spend the summer here together with Cassy and Beth. We used to live in New York back then and to escape the high-paced life of the great city, we unanimously agreed.

That was the time I first met the boy Aethan.

As you might have guessed, I wasn’t big when it came to dealing with people. I just sucked at it, despite my attempts. Beautiful Cassy was a nice girl, but she was too busy with her social life to deal with me and Beth. The adults wanting us young ones to bond, Beth and I had no choice but to stick together.

It was a disaster.

In the face of my protests, I became Beth’s ‘slave’, as she preferred it be told. And it wasn’t just a figure of speech. It was a nightmare, more so for the child me.

I wasn’t her playmate – I was her maid. We never played games – she played me. She bossed me around like there was no tomorrow, and me? I just let her be. And it was supposed to be a vacation. Real nice, huh?

Every night, I escaped from their house and walked around the beach which was nearby. The coast back then wasn’t as noisy as now – the rocky side of the beach was basically unpopular to tourists – and so there I found a temporary sanctuary.

I enjoyed the landscape, memorizing the almost magical setting of the place. It wasn’t that pretty, but I liked it better than the lights of the city or the empty comfort of my room.

After a while, I started to have company.

He was tall for his age, his appearance already promising strong, handsome features even for one so young. Every time I saw him, he was always overly dressed for someone who took leisure walks, so I guessed he was an escapee too.

An angry set of unbelievably green eyes took my breath away when I first met him. It was so out of place for a boy only eleven years of age. I watched him but never showed myself, afraid that I might scare the strange boy.

One night, I happened to see him as he ran down the steep slope towards the finer part of the beach. He looked really cool as he jumped from one rock to another, not missing a single step. He seemed so happy that he was alone, and that I could understand. It was so frustrating to be surrounded by a mob of people. Knowingly or not, they always enforce their wills on you, making you feel like a nameless pawn in their chess game.

Yet he… he appeared free.

I was relieved I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

On the last night of my stay, I decided to show myself. It was the best decision my uncertain self had ever made. He was the funniest sort of guy, and it was because he wasn’t even trying. His expressions were so animated he was like two persons at the same time.

He was thoughtful… and surprisingly mature. Perhaps, it was that part of him that appealed to me. I knew back then that he was different, someone who I would like to have as a friend.

He was the one who gave me the small rock – my treasured lucky charm.

Unfortunately, we never had the opportunity to strengthen that bond between us, I had left too soon. Back then, I knew I would never come back.

Proved me wrong.

Three years ago, unable to tolerate the painful twists and turns my life took, the path that led everything to ruins, I ran away from home. My father didn’t even bother; he simply went on with his life. With my meager savings, I flew to San Francisco, California. At first, I was living on my own but a chance meeting with Cassy led me to stay with them. Uncle Anthony was always out of the country, and in fact, he liked the idea of the three of us living together. All said and done, I enrolled in Cassy and Beth’s school as a sophomore.

And then I saw him again.

I learned his name was Aethan West, the first sophomore to be the Captain Ball in the whole school’s history. He was famous and friendly and cool and everything… but he was lacking something.

He changed.

His preferences didn’t matter anymore. The passion, the vigor, the fire I initially saw in him was subdued, almost extinguished inside his eyes. He was one with the crowd, and the crowd with him. It was so disquieting to see how unreal he became. I knew what he was doing. He was allowing others to take control of his life, to dictate what course he would take. He wasn’t the young boy from my past. Not anymore.

To me, he was just a stranger.

Just another teenage jerk.

Just a face in the crowd.

It was a distressing discovery.

Our first meeting was a big turning point to me as a young girl; it was an experience that I cherished with all my heart.

You are beautiful…

Those three innocent words shocked me to the core. It was the first time someone complimented me without any ulterior motives or signs of deceit. It was the first time someone smiled at me while staring solemnly at my dull eyes.

His encouraging words back then fueled me to living despite all my heartbreaks.

But to him, it was probably something trivial, an uneventful night long forgotten. How many times had he said those exact words to all the girls he dated? How many times had he smiled his brilliant smile and made a girl fall for him? How many times had he given a girl a memory filled with achingly sweet moments?

I waited. For weeks and weeks, as it gradually turned to months and then years, I waited for him to approach me, waited whether he would notice or recognize me.

I waited in vain.

I waited too long in vain.