“It’s not the glow of the sun that matters. It’s how you use the light to see the good around you and to brighten other people’s hearts.”

Day 3 - Afternoon

Humming to myself, I finished another ‘surprise’ quiz in a heartbeat.

A+

In my next class, I answered a question that was supposed to be brain-racking. Without batting an eye or saying one word off from what the teacher was going to say. Perfectly delivered, not a syllable wasted. Just like a written speech.

I beamed. Not bad at all. I could really get use to this.

I rule! Wooh!

Okay. So maybe I was letting it get into my head, but still…

The teachers were obviously baffled because for one, I wasn’t the active kind of student. In fact, I never voluntarily recited before. Second, they never knew I was this smart. (On my part, I just had a really good memory.) Third, they weren’t used to seeing me with a smile on my face. A lot of them even thought I was a new student.

It was comical.

In the hallways, I was still under total bliss that my cheeks were hurting with the effort. I was bouncing happily on my toes when I saw Aethan and his friends pass me by. Lucky. I gave him a bright smile, but he merely returned it with a brief nod, not even bothering to spare me a second glance.

I partially opened my mouth to greet him, but he was already away, laughing with his friends as if he didn't see me, as if I was invisible.

It made me feel like someone strangled my breath out of me.

My smile wavered.

I went to my next class with sigh. The classes started, but then I didn’t feel as euphoric as I did earlier. Frustrated, I chewed my lower lip.

Huh. Friend. Some friend he was.

An adult entered our room just as we were about to come out.

I wasn’t surprised when all of a sudden the students were ushered out of our building towards the giant architectural treasure sitting behind the main campus. Our auditorium-slash-basketball-court was the largest facility our school had, all because of the sponsors that Aethan impressed. It was beautiful, fully polished and highly equipped. Sometimes, agents rent it as venues for performers, adding some revenue to our school fund. One of the many reasons why Aethan West was the headmaster’s favorite.

Entering it, anyone could feel the tension by the cheers that reverberated from inside. The game hadn’t even started, yet everyone was excited. According to hearsays, a bunch of famous Ivy League players ‘suddenly’ had the urge to see this ‘basketball genius’ they kept hearing so much about. They showed up in school ‘out of the blue’ and scheduled a showdown this very afternoon. Of course, I didn’t have to use a brain cell to tell that this was the school’s publicity stunt.

I was amused to see the replay of the game because I was positive Aethan would demonstrate his talent, but to tell you the truth, the bubbly excitement I had when I first heard the rumors had completely faded from my system. It kinda sucked because the thought of me remembering the future still made me uncomfortable. As if I was some freak. I guess I was.

It made me feel abnormal… isolated from the carefree world around me.

I sighed.

Since this was my second time to see the game, I should have known more about the visitors, but sorry to disappoint, I had no idea who they were. Unlike my peers, I had no interest in things that hadn’t have direct effects on my life. I never liked sports and their counterparts, never bothered with the life of the singers behind the songs I listened to, never stalked the hot Hollywood stars, never drooled over every cute guy that passed by my way.

I wasn’t that kind of girl.

I was contented with simply knowing what realistically surrounds me. Nothing more, nothing less. It makes my life a whole lot simpler and definitely boring… until now that is.

When I saw Aethan’s familiar frame in his maroon jersey, I had no choice but root for him. The others were louder and wilder than me, but I felt like I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t at least show some support.

Despite the distance, it was obvious that Aethan was enjoying the attention. Whoop di doo. Wasn’t he saying something conflicting some time ago? Really, this guy couldn’t stick to one decision. But it would be unfair of me to say that he played basketball because of the popularity points. He loved the sport, in fact, was addicted to it. Even a child would notice him glow as soon as the ball was in his hands.

As I watched Aethan and his dazzling smile enter the center stage, I felt proud for him. Among all the tall, good-looking athletes of Bright Brooks Falcons, he received the most astounding number of applause. He was the guy that every girl loved and every guy idolized, the very person who stood at the top of our school jungle. He was amazing in every way possible, so seemingly perfect that I felt miserable just thinking how he hated keeping up that façade.

Did he really despise the attention?

If he appeared incredible and untouchable in front of everyone, then wouldn’t he snap from all the pressures? If he was worried about people’s opinion of him every single day, then wouldn’t that mean he had been hiding his true self from the very start?

Had anyone bothered knowing and accepting the real Aethan West?

The crowd hollered when our Captain acknowledged us with a wave, and the cheers that the Ivy team received as they came in was almost hilarious compared to the earlier noise.

“Our own basketball superstar, West in number 4 and our proud Falcons against the...”

After that, I tuned the noise off, calmly watching the game as it started.

* * *

Aethan was grinning as some pretty cheerleader did a somersault in the air after giving him a wet kiss during time-out.

I squeezed my eyes close.

How could I forget that guy was a player? As much as I would like to ignore the throbbing behind my ears, I couldn’t. I had to swallow hard, or else I would choke from loss of words.

That girl, that preppy cheerleader, I remembered her as one of the girls that Aethan would eventually be dating. A few days, at most.

For strange reasons, my chest felt heavy. It wasn’t the kind of feeling you get when you wanted to cry, but it was as if I had lost something inside me. Something vital. It was terrible, the sense of emptiness in the pit of my stomach and the heavy burden weighing my chest. Maybe I was suffocated because of the atmosphere. Perhaps it was because I seldom joined a crowd this big. I couldn’t completely understand it, but as I watched Aethan play passionately, it only worsened.

“Go Aethan! Go my love! Waah! Aethan! OMG! You’re so hot! Let me lick your sweat!” the girls beside me screamed as they jumped and waved their hands in the air like maniacs. The guys were yelling about the scores or the fouls, but they had the same admiring expressions on their faces. When the first period was done, Aethan took one fast swig of water and poured the rest over his body, making everyone cry out like he was some kind of god. Drenched, he looked like one…

My chest felt heavier.

He was a completely different person.

Out of reach.

I have known for so long... so long that it wasn’t possible. The gap was too huge. Too wide. It was intolerable, that’s probably why I couldn’t breathe properly. Again I was reminded that we could only be friends, that I was already lucky he chose me as the one he wanted to confide with, but that was all to it. A friend. I should be satisfied with that – it was a privilege – but I badly wished it to be more. I wanted to be more than a friend.

Was it possible to trade places with the preppy cheerleader? Should I try practicing making myself a pretzel?

I placed my hand over my frazzled heart.

I couldn’t help comparing myself to him. We were both liars to ourselves and everyone, but the outcome had been so different. I knew that my decision about changing what’s left of my life was the best I ever made, but still, I couldn’t help but regret all those times I wasted.

We create our own miracles… but what if I am too late? What if the one I wanted was really beyond reach?

“Hey,” a deep baritone shouted over the noise as a huge hand held my right elbow, steadying me. “Are you dizzy?”

When I turned around, I realized that it was the four-eyed guy I saved a while ago.

“I’m fine,” I replied, but my voice was drowned by the cheering. Our team had scored twelve while the college team was eleven. It was pretty close.

I pulled myself out of the redhead’s hold, but I didn’t realize how weak my knees were because I ended up falling against him. He flinched, but said nothing as he helped me out the noisy auditorium. I was sitting near the entrance, thankfully, so it wasn’t a long run.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked when I crashed on the bench right outside the auditorium, just beside the trees.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, but he was already away jogging towards a nearby cola machine.

Huh. Thanks for listening! He shouldn’t have asked me in the first place!

Still, I smiled and said a quick thank you when he handed me a cold can of Coke.

“You can go back now,” I said after a minute. “I really am okay now. You better watch the game. It’s going to be the last you’re going to see it.”

Since Aethan will be gone as soon as we graduated…

“It’s stuffy in there,” he groaned as he sat beside me. “Besides, I didn’t study here for basketball.”

“Really?”

That’s weird. Most of the boys enrolled here because of our strong basketball team and its reputation.

“Then why did you transfer here a month before school ended?”

He watched the grass underneath his black shoes as if they were the most interesting things ever. He adjusted his glasses just for the sake of doing something before he glanced at me. He was considering whether to tell me or not. I was about to say I wasn’t going to force him, but he beat me.

“Work.”

Oh. I thought it’s some kinda heavy problem about his personal life. This guy was definitely weird. I mentally branded him with a bold W on his forehead.

“You have a part-time here? Like, library assistant or something?”

Did he stopped schooling at one time? That meant he was older than me… but he looked like eighteen or nineteen at most.

He waved my questions off, clearly annoyed I ask too much questions. I shrugged, drinking the contents of the can empty.

I smiled towards the thoughtful weirdo as soon as I was done. “Uh, Kheirik, thanks for the help. I appreciate it. Really.”

“You remembered my name,” he suddenly smirked, startled that I did.

“Of course.” Was I not supposed to?

He continued smirking, but his gaze was elsewhere. “No problem.”

I noticed that for a nerd, he was definitely not close to the stereotype.

“Would you like to go back?” he asked me after a while.

“Yup. Definitely.”

“A crazed fan?”

“Fan, yes, but not crazed,” I huffed as I tried to keep my wobbly knees straight. They didn’t cooperate so I remained seated.

Kheirik pulled me up easily despite my weight. I looked up to voice my protests, but I suddenly had a hard time finding my voice. Underneath his long-sleeved pink polo, I could see his defined muscles. Behind his glasses were the warmest chocolate eyes I’ve ever seen. They were steady and intense, not at all shifty at they stared at mine. He literally carried half of my weight as we walked back towards the game.

For the record, he was definitely working out. I scrunched my nose at the inconsistency.

If Kheirik was this strong, why was it he ended up being bullied?

We returned to our seats just as the second half began.

But my attention was divided. Although I pretended to be caught up in the fast pace game, half of my mind was wandering back to the helpless situation where Kheirik was wholly covered with tissue paper. I remember seeing the anger burning inside his shaking frame, and I vividly remembered well how he tried to calm himself. As if he fully expected it but didn’t avoid it. As if he waited for it and there was nothing he could do to stop it. As if he didn’t want to make a scene, so he just went along.

I closed my eyes.

It was deliberate.

He was just like me. He was just like the past me.

I faced him as he obliviously texted in his phone, not at all interested with the things happening around him. He was giving off a very non-nerdy aura. I knew it; he was simply pretending. He was simply trying to fit right in by becoming a shadow. A nobody.

Just like the past me.

But I knew better now. I wouldn’t do the same mistake twice. Watching myself mirrored in this boy, I realized how much I did wrong with my life. There were so many things I had to change. More than I knew and realized.

I like Kheirik, and am definitely keeping him as a friend. Straightforward, not judgmental, and to top it off, thoughtful. He might be a little awkward, but we shared the trait, so it was like seeing myself from another’s point-of-view. Perhaps, he could help me change. My other friend didn’t seem to have enough time for me.

I could only wish.