Later that evening I approached Shin at the bar about my conversation with Ken.

"You knew I had a criminal record?"

"I inquired after your friend and discovered the truth."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"You proved your worth well before then."

I let out a deep sigh, and gave Shin a half smile. "Thank you."

"Ken visits family but I informed him of you. His organization would benefit from you and your skills. He has great power and he can make things happen for you that would otherwise be difficult to obtain. I hope you are not disappointed with me Cody that I have done this."

"No Shin. You have given me something no one else would offer a person like me. I am grateful for any opportunities that come my way."

Shin nodded and patting my back, returned to the kitchen, leaving me behind the bar.

I thought of the agreement made. I didn't care what the work required. I was serious - I would do anything to discover what became of Lee.

The weeks to follow were a mixture of anxiety-ridden moments with tiny windows of joy. I received my results from my exam and I exceeded my expectation. I scored perfect results and Tanaka-sensei was elated. She and I had formed a somewhat unusual relationship. I often spend time with her during the week talking matters related to Japan. During these times I almost felt normal. So long as I wasn't talking about myself or being allowed the time to think about my problems, I managed.

Tanaka-sensei always had my best interests at heart. She understood my past yet offered to provide a letter of consideration to the Japanese embassy so I might get work in the country. These small things made a huge impact. They never saw how violent I was in my youth or the degrading circumstances I endured while growing up. They never judged me and I was grateful for that.

When Tanaka-sensei told me her offer I was humbled, but I wondered did I deserve such kindness.

With the remainder of Ken's stay, I continued to serve him the nights I worked. I learned he didn't dine when I wasn't there and this might have disturbed me if not for our agreement. While Ken appeared each night to eat, contentment engulfed me. For another three weeks this routine occurred until Shin informed me one evening Ken had returned to Korea.

The battle I always fought with depression was the hardest during those weeks after Ken left. I wasn't sleeping well and sought medical advice being prescribed a drug to take the edge of. In daylight hours, I could forget and push on. It was at night the pain was unbearable. I took more pills than prescribed to manage. I continued to study and work part-time. I rarely spoke English now. At work we always spoke Korean and in lectures, Japanese.

Visits to my parole officer were among the few times I used English and at those times I was uncomfortable and apprehensive. Every time I went back to speaking my native tongue, it reminded me off my failures. Two years after leaving jail I learned there would be no more visits to the parole officer. I had come to an end of my former life. No more visits to the police station every six weeks meant no more speaking English.

When third term of university ended, my depression was winning again. I didn't feel the medication helped and returned to get something stronger. This led to the doctor referring me to a specialist. Instead, I saw another doctor to prescribed the same medication.

During the school break, I picked up extra hours at work. While I worked or studied, I could focus. When back in my apartment the isolation tormented me. I spend more and more time going over old emails until I couldn't tolerate the loneliness. I spent less time at home and more time walking the streets.

One night, I found myself in a newsagent and in the back corner I found comics on display. Reminded of the manhwa Lee and I read, and the fact Lee lost his entire collection, I wondered if he ever replaced it. We never spoke of it after Lee returned to Korea and from this thought, born a craze that save me. I was on a mission to replace the missing collection.

I spent my free time going to the stores and buying manga. By the time I began my final component I was online to purchase manhwa overseas. The few I purchased myself at the stores where not what Lee would read. No need to be tight with my savings I purchased a laptop.

Like a man obsessed, I worked, studied and spent every moment on the internet buying manhwa. I still took the pills every night before bed but most nights I fell asleep in the kitchen chair.

Late October, Shin pulled me to one side when I arrived at work Friday night. He said nothing as he handed me an envelope. The emotion weight of the envelope crushed me. Afraid what it may contain, I left the restaurant. Although sealed I couldn't be sure Shin didn't know what it contained. I shifted the envelope between my fingers several times before I opened it.

Dear Mr Sheldon,

As to your inquires into the whereabouts of Mr Woo-Jin Lee.

Mr. Lee was in a vehicle accident at the end of December last year. He suffered traumatically with the loss of use to both his legs. Until two months ago, he was being cared for in a general hospital until his attempt to take his own life. Since that time, he has been undergoing treatment for severe depression in the psychiatric ward at the same hospital.

The organisation has, on your behalf, seen to the transfer of Mr. Lee to a psychiatric clinic. He will be tended to by the best within the industry, including physical therapy to aid in Mr Lee's recovery.

We hope that this meets to your approval.

Kind regard,

Susie Win.

Administration

Chaebol Corporation.

I didn't realise I was crying until a tear hit the letter. Lee was alive but not well. Unable to imagine what he must have gone through, I knew then more than ever he needed me. His immediate family still lived in Australia and he would have no one in Korea to take care of him. I had to be there for him and if it meant dedicating the rest of my life, I would. After all I endured, nothing prepared me for the shock that Lee endured far worse.

At that moment something inside me clicked and who I was didn't matter anymore. I lived solely for Lee, regardless of the kind of relationship we might have. I made him my life, my reason for living and would never leave his side again. He would be the air I breathed and the light guiding me. I would die for him as I would die without him.

Letter folded and in my back pocket I wiped my face clear and returned to the restaurant.