The doctor escorted me down a lavish carpeted corridor. The sea blue plush carpet complimented the many paintings depicting oceans and seasides. Large flower arrangements stood on pedestals positioned every few metres between the paintings giving the appearance of a hotel rather than a hospital.

The doctor came to a stop before a large cream door. There was no room number displayed, nor a plaque indicating who used the room.

"I will leave you here." The doctor said.

"Thank you for your help."

The doctor left and taking the door handle, I turned it but I couldn’t bring myself to push the door open as my fear and anxiety came rushing back. Multiple questions passed through my mind all negative and destructive.

With a deep breath, I pushed the door open.

Lee sat in a wheelchair in front of the large floor to ceiling windows. Curtains open reflected the room against the glass. I closed the door and said nothing. Lee watched me in the reflection and I waited. From where I stood, I could see how much Lee had changed. Where he once appeared strong and bulked up with muscle he now looked thin and worn. His features made him look older.

I moved to the bed and left my case at the end before going over to Lee. I knelt before him and gazed up as Lee continued to stare out the window refusing to acknowledge my presence. His eyes were dull and his cheekbones sharp against his thin complexion. This was not the Lee I remembered, but it was the Lee I longed.

Hands on his lap, I saw the dark angry scars on Lee's wrists. I took them in my hands and rubbed my thumbs across the permanently damaged skin. He still looked away as tears fell down his face. With a gentle caress, I wiped the tears with my fingers.

"I've got you brother."

Lee said nothing as he silently cried and I sat holding his hand, gently wiping his tears away.

"You should have stayed away," Lee whispered when the tears stopped.

"Did you leave because of me?" Before Lee could answer I asked, referring to the scars on his wrists, “Do you do this because of me?”

The pained expression on Lee’s face was enough to confirm my suspicions.

"We're not in jail anymore and everything has changed." Lee murmured.

“Of course it would change, but did you think running away would make it better?”

This side of Lee I saw shocked me and frightened me. His behaviour was unlike the man I once knew.

“You never should have left the country.” I murmured.

"I can't be what you want me to be, Cody.”

"I never asked you to. I knew it wouldn’t be the same once we got out, but I thought we were brothers. I thought we would have each other's backs.”

Lee cried again and grief consumed me. I never wanted to see Lee this emotional.

I rose and stood beside Lee and placing a hand on his shoulder, looked at our reflection in the window. Though he said he couldn't be what I wanted him to be - I needed to know.

"When you tried to kill yourself, it was when I stopped sending my emails. Why didn't you contact me?"

"I was confused."

"You were running away from me when you came back to Korea."

"Not from you," he whispered, "from me."

Lee looked at his hands twisted in agony on his lap.

“We’re both idiots but we weren’t to know any better. If we’d talked about it perhaps things might have be different but this is how it is.”

Lee said nothing; his shallow breaths stemming the flow of tears.

"I am not concerned with the type of relationship we have but ignoring this, what we have, is not doing either of us any good.

Lee remained quiet until he looked up at me with a sad expression, and said, "I'm scared."

I squeezed his shoulder, and replied, "So am I."

Lee stared at our reflection and we stayed this way for some time. When Lee looked away, he took the wheels on his chair and pushed himself towards the bed. He lifted himself on to the bed and using his upper body arranged himself.

At the end of the bed I retrieved my bag.

"I have something for you."

Lee didn't answer as I lifted my bag onto the end of the bed. Once open I remove the entire collection of manhwa Lee had lost and placed them on his lap. He stared at them and tears swelled in his eyes once more. Weakened by the sight, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. When calm once more, Lee moved away.

Lee turned the first cover and read the following pages. I pulled a chair over and watched him. He read the first book through before closing it and placed it back on top of the ones sitting on his lap. He leaned back into the pillows and closed his eyes.

"Thank you."

"I have others. I've been collecting them for you."

"Don't leave them here, take them with you. Bring them when you visit again."

"I will. I should get going. I arrived in the country over an hour ago, and a driver is waiting."

"Where are you staying?"

"I'm not sure yet. An apartment has been arranged for me."

"The organisation you're working for, do you understand what it means?"

"Yes, I understand. I'm willing to do anything to stay by your side. I consider myself lucky to be given this chance."

"Be careful, Cody."

"I will Lee. I'll be back again tomorrow morning. I'll bring more manhwa for you to read."

"Maybe we can read them together."

"I'd like that."

I stood and took Lee's hand in mine. With my thumb, I caressed the back of his hand. When I released it I gave him a smile he tried to return. In time I hoped I would see Lee smile again. With the manhwa packed away I did not delay my departure. At the door I turned to Lee.

"Thank you, Cody."

"Don't thank me. I would die for you."

Tears swelled in Lee's eyes again as he gave me a nod, and nodding back, I left.