-My death was quick, but there are a lot of things that lead to it, so I suppose I should start from the beginning.
Lavender took a deep breath before continuing. The rest looked at her, impatiently.
-When I was 7 I changed schools. Not a big deal, it helped, actually. - She shrugged- I didn't have friends in my other school.. I stayed there until my last year, this one. I was still in school when I... died.
Clover was about to say they also where, but Lavender continued before she could waste her breath.
-I only had one friend there, but it was better than none. I was "weird" for other people. But as we both were the same, we stuck together. We grew that way, knowing we needed each other as we where the same. Until we grew too much. - She looked down and shook her head- We started being less and less with each other and more with ourselves. Singing to ourselves as our music taste changed, reading by ourselves as we started having different taste in books, you get the point.
Lavender took a hand to her eye and swiped away a tear.
-It didn't seem as if it bothered us, but it did. At least to me. Then I made a great mistake and started trying to get out of the "weird" category. Become someone who has fun, who is around people. But I just became a pet. Always being asked to bring the food or decorations, always being joked about, but if I tried to get out of the "friend circle" it would get worse.
-My family didn't help. My parents were divorced, that was actually the reason why I changed schools, to be near both of their houses. My dad started getting angry at everything, shouting at everything in the news, burning newspapers he didn't like, throwing furniture around the house.
She looked away, looking ashamed of what she was saying as if she was the reason why it happened.
-My mom became depressed, always crying because she was lonely. She got kicked out from several jobs because of this and every time something bad happened, she would transmit that bad wave towards me. I started getting frustrated, everything I did seemed wrong, and I though I was bad from thinking bad about me. When I tried to stand, I remembered everything I did wrong and fell again. One day I couldn't take it anymore. I would have to support them both until they die, and I couldn't stand the thought of both staying with them or leaving them alone by themselves.
-I wasnt ready to become an adult either, almoust about to turn 17. 18 Would be a huge change and i didnt know where to go. My life seemed worse than whatever i could imagine. I was ignorant, not thinking about those who suffer way more and still go on, but i couldt come out of my closed mind.
Suicide. Thats the word.
I killed myself.
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