Jatsu Iika, the internet chicken, knew his life would never be the same the day he choked on a popcorn kernel and died. At the time of the incident, Jatsu was watching Death Note, closely analyzing it and pointing out every problem there is to be had with such a plot, and stating how much he loathed Light Yagami. Subsequently, James, the internet nonce, revived Jatsu, in unconsented exchange for his first born, who was inevitably born one minute afterwards as a result of black voodoo magic done by the internet witch, Agatha. Jatsu, being a male, had birthed a child out of his rectum. “I would never have children. Why would I bring another being into a world of suffering and uncertainty? That's just cruel and selfish.” Jatsu said. “But Jat,” the writer said, “you just had one.” “The writer of this light novel just said so.” And thus, “But if I had no choice, I would give it a generic, popular name” Iika, also known as Jatsu Junior, was brought unto planet Earth. ”Well if the writer of the novel can make anything come true, then why not make the world a better place instead of harassing one innocent guy on the Internet?” “Don’t be silly, Jatsu,” I say as Jatsu continues, “You shouldn't write exposition. There are more creative, entertaining ways of conveying information to readers.” Fine.