"What."

"I'm the genie from your lamp." he said it with less confidence and flair.

"Lamp?" I inquired, "This isn't Aladdin, I don't have oil lamps."

"Genies can take up residence in and kind of lamp we want."

"What kind of lamp do you live in?" I asked, trying to think of what lamps I own.

"That goddamn weird one you have, the one your artist friend gave you?"

"The one made of an energy drink can and bottle caps?"

"Yeah, it's sticky as hell in there."

"Don't I have to rub the lamp to free you?" I asked, still thinking of Aladdin, it being the only knowledge I have on genies.

"Well, you did, about two hours ago..." he sat on the ground of the bathroom, ready to regale me with his tale of how I freed him. 

"-you were getting ready for work, and you bumped the lamp, and it, with me in it, I might add, fell into a puddle of grape soda. Your house is filthy, James." he remarked, "Anyway, you rubbed the lamp when you tried to wipe the soda off, by the way, you were very unsuccessful in that endeavor." he started to scrub some soda off his vest, "And now I'm here."

"Then why did you only appear now?" I wasn't convinced this psycho was a genie just yet.

"You try to materialize out of a lamp that's covered in grape-y nastiness, takes time, James."

"Then you grant me, what, three wishes?" I asked.

"Well, I dunno."

"You, don't know?"

"Well, I've only been a genie since the creation of my lamp, so I'm not sure what my limit is."

I squinted at him. What the fuck?

"So, should I wish for something?" I asked.

"I guess, if you want to." he shrugged.

"Well, uhm, I- I wish for..." I had to thing about it. What if the limit is one wish? "I wish for a million wishes!"