“Why don’t you understand, Daniel?” I asked, and he shook his head at me.

“What are you doing? Where did you even get that-?”

“I’m trying to protect you!” I yelled, “Don’t you get it?! This is his fault!” I pointed the gun at Josiah, and Daniel quickly stepped in front of him.

“Henry listen to me,” he soothed with his hands raised, “You need to let me do this. I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone, but listen. With me gone, you’re free to marry Temperance. I know you love her, Henry. If I leave, you can be with her.”

“Daniel, I am your brother,” I breathed out, “I was supposed to protect you, keep you safe. I was supposed to raise you and teach you how to act, and I messed up. You don’t follow the status quo, you sympathize with these… these slaves! Because I messed up, and I am sorry! This is…,” my hand wavered, “This is my fault!”

“You didn’t mess up,” Daniel argued calmly, “You’re why I’m like this now, Henry. Because you protected me from our parents when I was young, you let me be a kid, you didn’t stifle me or keep me from doing the things that made me happy. You opened my eyes to this world, the cruelty and the beauty, and I can never thank you enough,” I hesitated at his words, my arm lowering, “Even though we fought and disagreed, you were always there for me, whenever I needed you, but I need you to do one more thing for me, Henry… let me go.”

I shook my head, a broken smile on my lips, “I messed up. I should have stepped in earlier, I should have stopped you from punishing him. I should have… I should have saved you from raising a hand to a slave. You aren’t built for that.”

Daniel just tipped his head to the side and smiled, “Neither are you.”

My hand kept wavering, up and down, as if I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do, my finger still curled around the trigger as my eyes closed, “I want to understand you,” I said, opening my eyes again and giving him a broken look, “I want to be brave like you,” he looked surprised at first, hesitating, and I choked, “I do love Temperance, but I also love you. What’s life without you? Your bravery and defiance against our father, your humanity… I need it, Daniel. I need to understand it.”

He looked torn in a way, looking down before a smile spread across his lips and he held his hand out towards me, “I want you to understand it too,” he said softly, “I know you already do, in a way. Your fear of our father keeps you from defining yourself by your own opinions and morals, but if you spent more time away from him, away from this whitewashed society, then maybe you would understand; maybe you would see what I see,” he held his hand out a little further, stretching it out for me, “Come with me, Henry. Free yourself from this.”

Go with him? No, but Temperance…? Father would be so angry at both of us. Yet… if I went with him, I wouldn’t have to deal with his anger again, would I? I knew Temperance, I am certain she would wait for me, no more struggling to save face for my family. I could be free.

I was reaching out for Daniel, my gun starting to slowly lower, I wanted to go with him, but I should have known things would never be that easy. Maybe it was punishment for allowing him to go so long without my supervision, because he was mingling with slaves against every order our parents have ever given. He was too defiant, too independent, so we were both being punished.

“Henry, are you out here?! I heard a gunshot!” Agatha’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard, and the gun recoiled as I jumped, startled so badly I pulled the trigger.

Instantly I dropped the gun, pulling my hand in and wiping it against my shirt as if I wanted to get the feeling of holding the weapon away from my skin, and when I looked up I stopped breathing. Daniel still had his arm held up, his hand beckoning me, but his brow was suddenly furrowed as he seemed to be wondering what had taken place.

Red was blooming on the chest of his shirt, like unfurling rose petals, the stain growing rapidly and tainting the white of his shirt as he lifted his free hand to touch his chest, a grimace on his face as he looked down at his hand, confusion in his eyes when he saw the red on his fingers. My hand shot out to grab his, but our fingers merely brushed together before his arm fell to his side and his hand pressed hard to his chest.

Josiah let out a painful noise, it sounded like he had been the one wounded, but Daniel was the one to fall. Too many times when Daniel needed me I didn’t go to him, I didn’t defend him or protect him, I simply stood there and watched as the cruelty of this world chipped away a little more at his wonderful spirit, but this time I didn’t stand back and watch as he crumpled under the weight of the world.

I ran to him, caught him with one arm wrapped behind him, my other hand pressed against his chest and quickly staining with blood. Josiah had been right behind Daniel, swiftly taking a place on his other side, his arm wrapped around Daniel’s shoulders as his hand pressed over both of ours, all three of our hands quickly coating with my brother’s blood as Josiah and I sank to our knees, Daniel lying between us, in both our arms.

“Daniel?” Josiah’s voice was broken as he pressed his hand down harder, his eyes wide, and I felt a demented sense of kinship with him.

Our hands were touching, pressing down on Daniel’s, over the wound in his chest. I could feel the rough calluses on his fingers, but I could also feel the way he was shaking. He curled over Daniel as he stared up at us with wide eyes filled with confusion, shaking, and panting as blood stained his lips and poured from the corners of his mouth.

“No. No! Daniel!” I screamed, and his eyes shifted to me, panicked, and filled with fear and pain, choking on his blood and trembling, occasionally jolting with a seizure that forced more blood from his mouth; his free hand lifted and grappled for a hold on my shirt, clinging to me as I struggled to speak, “No, you’re going to be fine, hold on.”

“Daniel,” Josiah whispered his name, and blue eyes slowly moved to Josiah’s face, a whine of pain and realization lifting from my brother’s throat as tears quickly stained his cheeks.

“Josi-ah,” Daniel choked, “Ru-n, run, Josiah-ah.”

Even lying here choking on his own blood, he was worried about the slave. They would blame him for this, I knew they would, and my heart raced at how afraid Daniel looked, how afraid he was for Josiah. The man he loved, subjected to punishment for something he didn’t do. Again.

A hard look crossed the slave’s features, and he shook his head, “No,” another whine left Daniel’s lips, and Josiah gave him a shaky smile, “I told you, Daniel. You are my family,” even his voice was rough, “You taught me so much. I love you…”

Daniel choked more, blood staining his chin as an influx of tears flowed from his eyes, which snapped to me, terrified, prompting me to shake my head, “Daniel… I’m sorry….,” I whispered the words, and he choked more, struggling to speak, unable to form the right words.

In the end, he could only manage to speak a little, “Josi-ah, pl-please,” he choked, “S-sa-save, save, pl-ease…”

I shook my head again, leaning down towards him, “I don’t understand, Daniel-.”

“Pro-tect- him,” Daniel whimpered, “Josi-ah- save- please- please-.”

The trembling of his body slowly evened out, blue eyes shifting to Josiah’s face, the shine fading into clouds as his head lolled towards the slave. The wind curled around us in slow tendrils of icy air, the only proof I wasn’t imagining this, that this wasn’t just a nightmare. People had come from the house, holding lanterns and rifles, and my head lifted when Josiah’s did, our eyes meeting.

There was so much in his eyes, I expected to see blood lust and fury, but I didn’t. I saw a man broken by years of abuse, tired of everything, and finally shattered. He shook his head, and he looked so disappointed in me.

“What have you done?”

I could hear my mother screaming, men grabbed Josiah by his shoulders and wrenched him away, and I wrapped my arms more securely around Daniel’s body as I watched them drag the slave away, turning to look down at Daniel and grazing my hand across his cheek, my thumb smearing the blood as I stared into his empty eyes, rocking slowly on my knees and letting the tears fall.

I was supposed to protect Daniel.

But I killed him instead.

I killed my own brother.