My day started the moment the sun rose above the mountains, signaling that I had to wake and hurry to start my chores before Lien-Hua catches me still in bed. I can’t even remember the last time I could sleep in without punishment, though I was probably never allowed to, now that I thought about it. There was too much I had to do.

A rooster’s crow always woke me, fighting past the burn of my hips so I could stand and change out of my dirty robes into something cleaner, keeping my hair out of my face by tying a simple leather strap at the base of my neck, simultaneously collecting my dirty sheets to wash before the others in the jìyuàn woke.

All my things had to be cleaned and dried and back in my shack before the windows started to open, or Lien-Hua would be upset. Seeing my drab belongings anywhere near her fine home made her stomach twist in disgust. For my own safety, I had to keep myself as scarce as I could.

I was at attention the moment the doors at the back slid open and three women stepped out with baskets of dirty clothes, shoving one into my arms before dropping the others at my feet and hurrying away from me, scowling as if I was untouchable. My lip stayed tucked between my teeth as I carried all three baskets over to the bucket of soapy water, my stomach growling as the enamoring scent of breakfast filled the backyard.

Unfortunately, all I would get was the amazing smell. My breakfast consisted of the bare minimum of what kept me alive. A glass of water, a slice of bread with a pallet of butter on top, and half an apple to go along with it, and I wouldn’t get it until all my chores were completed and to Lien-Hua’s liking.

There had been many times that I had to go hungry because her clothes weren’t clean enough, or because I didn’t sweep the back porch as thoroughly as I should have. The dishes still had spots, the windows were foggy, I didn’t make as much as I could have from my client the night before, and sometimes she just refused to feed me out of spite. It really depended.

It was hard work, finishing my chores while also trying to take care of myself, as Lien-Hua wanted me to always be presentable in case a client were to come by willing to pay for a night with me. I never understood how I could be appealing to anyone, not with the dull clothes I wore, especially when compared to how extravagant and elegant the other women dressed. Maybe because I was the only male, and this was the only brothel that would keep a client’s relationship with me away from public eyes.

If a merchant was curious about sex with another man, but didn’t want to risk his wife finding out, then he came to this jìyuàn. Even if they were caught coming in or out, at least the ridicule wouldn’t be so bad, as they would assume he was simply paying for a woman’s touch. Somehow, I didn’t see how a homoerotic relationship could gather so much ridicule and spite. According to rumors, even the Lord’s eldest son had relations with another man.

Granted I didn’t know if those rumors were true, but it made me wonder.

The day dragged by like an old rug being beaten, as expected Lien-Hua skipped my meal, or perhaps she simply forgot about me, which wouldn’t be surprising. It was getting dark, the sun was glowing gold in the sky as it headed towards the hills, and I was standing at the line, pulling dry sheets and robes from where I’d hung them that morning and placing them carefully in the baskets for the girls to take inside.

“Zemin,” one of the girls was calling to me from the porch, her hands tucked into the large sleeves of her silk robes, “Madam is calling for you.”

My breath seemed to catch in my throat as I stepped away from the laundry, wiping my hands on the front of my robes and stepping uncertainly forward, playing nervously with the sash around my waist as I stepped up onto the porch and waited for Lien-Hua to appear. When she didn’t, I gave the girl a confused look, and she snarled, pointing into the house.

“Inside,” she said, and my head reeled in surprise.

I was rarely allowed inside unless I was meeting an important client, and was automatically fearful that maybe it was a trick to get me to do something wrong. For all I knew, Lien-Hua was waiting for me, holding a crop in her hand and tapping her foot, but I had to consider how angry she would be with me if I didn’t enter the house at her command.

So, I stepped carefully, watching the floors in case my feet tracked dirt and followed the halls until I reached the sitting room. As expected, Lien-Hua was sitting at the low set table, kneeling on one of the many plush cushions and holding a warm cup of tea in her hands, a smile on her painted lips.

Sitting across from her was a young man I’d never seen before, dressed in a crisp black shirt, dark trousers, and thick leather boots that covered his calves. There were leather gauntlets on both his arms and a belt around his waist, a menacing sword lying on his lap where his legs were crossed. His hair was a dark coffee color and brushing his shoulders, half of it pulled back and tied, while his eyes were a hazel brown. His jaw was strong and sharp, and he certainly looked like a soldier, intimidating, though his eyes didn’t look at all dangerous. He looked kind, and when his gaze found me, the hazel seemed to grow softer.

“Zemin,” Lien-Hua waved towards the young man, “This is Dai-Li, he’s a soldier from the Lord’s home,” I folded my hands at my stomach and bowed at my waist, my hair slipping over one shoulder as Lien-Hua gave a soft scoff, “He will be your client for tonight. Being such a high and powerful man, I expect you to give him what he pays for.”

I felt something painful in my chest, fear, something I always felt when a client came for me, but I nodded my bowed head nevertheless, swallowing the discomfort as I stood straighter and forced myself to smile as soft and sweet as I could at the man.

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” I greeted.

Dai-Li’s lips twitched into a soft frown, and he looked over me for a moment, seeming incredibly confused, before turning his attention to Lien-Hua, “He’s dressed differently from the rest of you,” he observed, and Lien-Hua quickly set her cup down.

“His decision,” she reassured, “The boy is very humble, you see. Whatever money he makes he gives to the jìyuàn for construction and food. He doesn’t seem to care much about physical appearance and the clothes he wears,” she put a hand against her chest like she was getting choked up, “He’s a wonderful spirit.”

“Yes…,” Dai-Li agreed slowly, staring at her before moving his gaze back to me.

I was looking down at my robes, pulling at the collar and blushing furiously. He was the first client who ever pointed out what I was wearing, most didn’t care considering I didn’t need clothes on my body for them to fuck me. This man speaking up about my robes made me remember why I wore what I did.

Lien-Hua rarely bought me anything, let alone clothes. When she did have to get me something, she always dropped it on the porch outside my hut before kicking it closer to me, like the very idea of letting me have anything for myself made her sick to her stomach. The robes I was wearing now had been scrapped from several different robes that once belonged to Lien-Hua and her girls.

The clothes had ripped, or they had faded and were too old, so they threw them at me. If I wasn’t as decent at sewing as I was, then I would probably be walking around completely naked. The one thing I owned that Lien-Hua had given me was the lovely coral green robe I’d worn the previous night for my client. Made of silk, but a rather bland color with no real designs, it was likely the cheapest thing they had, but I loved it very much.

I felt embarrassed that I wasn’t wearing it now, and that my hair wasn’t as dressed up as it could have been, for some odd reason I felt incredibly self-conscious under this man’s eyes, tugging at a few strands of black hair, and nervously pushing the loose locks behind my ear in a desperate attempt to keep it out of my eyes.

“Zemin!”

I jumped, cringing slightly expecting pain to spread from my cheek, but Lien-Hua was still kneeling at the table, so I let myself relax, “Ma’am?”

“I said, bring this man to your room, and give him what he came here for.”

I breathed in carefully and bowed at my waist again, “Yes, forgive me,” when I stood straighter, Dai-Li was on his feet, sword in his hand and eyes watching me, so I held one hand out for him, “Come,” I said, then turned and started walking down the halls.

Outside the sun was further across the sky, the yard had emptied of servants, so Dai-Li and I were alone as we walked over to my hut. On the other side facing the trees, there was no way Lien-Hua would see the way my face fell as I stepped onto the porch and into the little room where my bed was, turning and kneeling to wait for Dai-Li.

My head was bowed and I was just waiting for some form of command, to strip or lie down, but there was nothing, so I peered up, surprised to see he was looking around at the trees, rubbing his chin. My hands clasped together on my lap as I felt a sudden pang of anxiety and confusion. Why wasn’t he pushing me down or yanking off my clothes? That’s what the other clients did.

“Sh-should I change?” I asked, reaching up to grasp at my chest as Dai-Li turned to look at me, “I apologize, I’m not clean, I was working all day,” I scrambled to my feet, “If you give me a moment I will bathe for you.”

“No!” Dai-Li held his hands out, his eyes wide in shock, “You look beautiful!” red crossed his cheeks, and I found myself tilting my head in confusion at the embarrassment he was showing, one of his hands curling into a fist that he coughed into as he lowered his eyes, “I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before.”

I slowly lowered myself back to my knees, my curiosity aching like a broken heartbeat. He shifted from one foot to the other as he propped his sword against the side of my hut and sat down, one leg dangling from the porch, the other propped up as he scratched the back of his neck, his face still red.

“Your name is Zemin?” he asked, turning his head to look at me, and I nodded, “It’s very unique,” he said with a smile, and I looked down at my hands, “How long have you lived here?”

I gave him an incredulous look. Was he trying to “get to know me”? Some clients try that to break the ice, assuming I wasn’t used to simply lying down to get hounded, and I never appreciated the questions. They made me uncomfortable, vulnerable, so I didn’t answer.

Dai-Li searched my eyes for a moment, frowning, “Are you alright?”

“You are here for sex,” I said simply, looking down at my folded hands, “This is what you are paying for, sir. Taking a moment to speak will only kill time you have with me.”

“Speaking with you is why I came here,” he said, and I lifted my head to gaze at him in surprise, “I wanted to meet you.”

He looked serious when he said that, and I started fiddling with the sash around my waist, “M-me?”

“Yes,” Dai-Li offered me a small smile, “The other night, I saw you at the pool,” he explained, “I… was intrigued by you. I wanted to meet you.”

I lifted a hand to my mouth as a strange noise of shocked embarrassment fell from my lips, my face burning as I turned my head, “You were watching me?” I asked in a whisper, recalling the snapping twig I’d set aside as nothing.

“Yes. Well, I mean, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he quickly reiterated, “I was taking a walk, you see, and I came across the pond where you were bathing. I promise you I never would have just watched, but… you were….”

He paused, and I chanced a look over at him to see he was staring at me outright with a lost look on his face, something intense in his eyes I’d never witnessed before. It had me shaking slightly, a tingle in my chest that made breathing a bit difficult.

“I was…,” I prompted him to continue with a whisper, and I noticed his throat bob with a swallow.

“You were beautiful,” he said finally, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I hope you can forgive me, and I do still intend to pay for your time, I just… what I want from you isn’t sex.”

This surprised me even more than when he admitted to watching me bathe, and I turned back fully to face him, my eyes wide, “Then what do you want?”

“To talk with you,” Dai-Li said, pushing himself a little closer to me, but not nearly close enough to touch, “Please?”

I wanted to turn him away, the very thought of talking to him made me feel terribly uncomfortable, and it was sad to think I’d feel safer if he simply tore at my clothes and bruised my hips with ferocity. Somehow the genuine kindness terrified me, and I didn’t know how I was supposed to react.

All my life I’d been reduced to nothing but a doll for sex, but this man just wanted to… to talk? I didn’t understand, but…. Perhaps… a night off would be fine. He still planned to pay the money owed, the same amount as he would give for sexual intercourse, Lien-Hua would never know, so what was the harm?

“Alright,” I finally gave in, my voice small and still uncertain, “I will.”