Scott would be so disappointed in me when he found out. At first, I only did it on instinct, even though my wolf was pleased and wanted to press against her, mark her, mount and breed her, I just couldn’t. I felt sick to my stomach, taking rapid steps away from her before she could touch me, ignoring my wolf’s protests as I looked her in the eye and snapped, “I reject you.”

My mother’s disappointment in me had been blatantly obvious, my father had been utterly speechless, and she, my chosen mate, went pale as a ghost, stunned. I wasn’t surprised she was shocked, everyone within earshot froze up to simply gape at me, their future alpha, in something that could be described as the worst moment of my life.

When the words had left my mouth, I knew I couldn’t take them back, the rift that tore through her would never be healed by my hands, that was just how the bond between mates worked. I quite literally saw her shatter, the look in her eyes became glazed as her hand raised to grab the chest of her shirt, a painful hitch in her throat as she bent over, eyes wide.

My wolf, too, was so completely pissed off at me, I ended up blacking out because of the agonizing pain in my head. When I woke up next I was lying in bed, my vision blurry and my parents on one side of my bed while my beta-in-training stood on the other, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in exasperation.

Honestly, though, he was probably the only one who hadn’t been surprised at my impulsive decision to reject my chosen mate. It wasn’t like I told him about Scott, no one had any idea that we’d spent the night together, and they didn’t know about the promise we’d made before he left, but he knew that being reckless and doing things without thinking was one of the bases of my personality.

My mother was so angry she wouldn’t even look at me, but my father just seemed concerned for me, wondering what was going through my head, why I would do such a thing, do I realize the grave situation I’ve put myself in? Somehow his words passed right over my head, but one of the last things Scott said to me replaced them.

The pack won’t follow an unfaithful alpha.

Scott would be so upset with me when he found out I rejected my chosen mate, but I was scared. We made a promise to get married when he came back if we hadn’t found our chosen mates yet, so how could I willingly mate with her when that promise was still so fresh in my heart? I was in love with Scott, I didn’t care about customs or chosen mates.

Rejecting her may have weakened me for a few days, enough to develop a dangerous fever that nearly killed me, but I recovered easily, and so did she. It took a few weeks for me to start healing from the spiritual wounds, and even longer for my wolf to start slipping back into my conscience, for a few months I couldn’t even shift under the full moon, but a year after I rejected my chosen mate I was back to normal, shifting like I should be, as strong as ever, and I had so much more to look forward to.

When Scott came back, he’d be happy I didn’t have a mate. Sure, I’d have to tell him eventually that I rejected her, and he was going to be as pissed off at me as my beta was, but it meant we could get married! It meant we could be together! Just like we promised! We would get married, adopt an orphaned alpha, and raise him as my heir to take over the pack when I decided to retire.

There was a strong custom that said only alphas of the same bloodline could take over the packs, but I was breaking rules left and right, so what was the harm of breaking one more? My parents wouldn’t be pleased, I can’t even imagine my father’s disappointment, but I didn’t care, because I’d be with Scott.

“Numb skull,” my head jerked forward from the sudden hit to the back of my head, and I reached up to rub the sore area as I pouted up at my beta, “Pay the fuck attention before I get yelled at.”

“Oh, come on, I’m almost twenty-six, I’m an adult with an Associate’s degree in Political Science.”

“No, Malcolm, you aren’t. You dropped out after two weeks.”

“Oh… right…”

Not that that was my fault. I started college around the time I rejected my mate, so it was essential that I drop out before I started falling behind in my studies. I got so sick after the fact that there was no way I could have finished even half of a semester. A year later when I was fully recovered, I just decided it wasn’t worth the effort and focused entirely on training with my father so I would be ready to take over when he retired.

Which, unfortunately, happened sooner than I’d hoped. Most alphas would have been psyched for their fathers to clap a hand on their shoulder and tell them they were going to step back because they thought you were ready to take over, but I just felt sick and frustrated. I was confident, I cared about my pack more than anything else (besides maybe Scott), and I knew that with the right guidance then I would do well, but I still wasn’t ready.

That, of course, made no difference to my father. He said that having a little bit of self-doubt would make me more willing to lean on the people around me for support, which would strengthen the trust I had with my pack and they had with me, but I wasn’t too happy when he announced I was the new Alpha.

Being alpha to the Kerry Clan meant duties and responsibilities that I’d been preparing for my whole life, but now that there were legitimate consequences for if I screwed up, I wasn’t having as much fun. In fact, I was downright miserable, and it was all my poor beta could do to keep me focused on the task at hand.

Cliff Holden was the same age as me, I’d known he would be my beta from day one, and so had he. We both trained separately to prepare for the roles we would take on, and unlike me, he was completely ready for the beta position when Alpha Wade stepped down with his second. Honestly, I felt grateful for his confidence, because I wouldn’t have been able to function at all if my beta had been as useless as I was.

He was about the same height as me, maybe a little shorter, with dark brown hair and light brown eyes, his skin was dark and he constantly had this expression of exasperation that was largely my fault. Cliff was the kind of man who followed all the rules, even the stupid ones, because he valued loyalty and respected authority.

Which made our childhood relationship a bit rocky, considering I was constantly getting into sticky situations and dragging Cliff along for the bumpy ride because I figured we needed to “bond” if we were going to be running the pack together. He didn’t see it that way, he saw it as me purposely being a shit stirrer to get a rise out of people.

Which was true, because it had been hilarious to watch the wolves in the council scream when a hoard of frogs started falling from the ceiling. My father laughed his ass off at that prank, frogs hanging from his hair and the oldest members of the pack cursing at him for raising a child that was so like him. Evidently my father had been a prankster himself when he was young. That was a fun fact to have learned.

I asked my father’s beta, Darius, about it, and he just gave me a wistful smile, “It was always the four of us,” he explained, “Me, Wade, Callum and Mihail.”

“Who are they?” I remembered asking, “I’ve never heard of any Callum or Mihail in the pack. Did they move to the Paige Clan?”

Darius’ tight smile just twisted and he looked away, ruffling my hair before walking away. I thought that was suspicious, but when I asked my father about them he got angry at me. An angry alpha is not something you ever want to see, and him being my father made it a hundred times worse, so I just dropped the subject. Even though those names have never left my mind, and I was still curious.

“There,” I pushed the finished paperwork to the edge of my desk and pushed my chair back, looking at Cliff expectantly, “Can I leave now?”

He rubbed his forehead and picked the paper up, looking over it before nodding, “Yes. See? You know exactly how to finish this work perfectly, yet you never cease to complain about it.”

“What fun would I be if I did my work willingly?” I asked, standing up and stretching my arms above my head, groaning when my back cracked satisfyingly, “I’m hungry, what time is it?”

“You’re always hungry,” Cliff chuckled, setting the paper in the correct file before turning and waving for me, “Come on, I’m sure Luna Cecilia has made something to keep you happy. She always has snacks for you.”

“Damn right, because she’s the best mother in the world.”

I stepped out of my study when Cliff held the door open for me, heading for the kitchen where my mother was probably making dinner for that night, I could already smell it when I entered the hallway that lead to the kitchen, a smile breaking across my lips when I stepped into the kitchen.

“Is that your world famous green bean casserole I smell, mother dearest?”

“It is indeed,” was the response, and Cecilia leaned away from the stove to smile at me, “Have you finished your work, darling?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She didn’t look entirely convinced, arching one eyebrow at me and looking over my shoulder, “Clifford, sweetheart, has he finished his work?”

“Hey!”

“He did,” Cliff assured with a chuckle, and I shuffled into the room to sit at the island counter, pouting and dejected.

“Are you hungry?” Cecilia asked, and I forgot about sulking as I sat straighter.

“Always!”

“Well I may have some mini sausages and sliced fruit lying somewhere around here,” she hummed, walking over to the refrigerator, and pulling out an already prepared platter of snacks, setting it down in front of me as Cliff sat on the stool to my right, “There you are, my carnivore, that should tide you over until dinner.”