I narrowed my eyes at him and followed, shutting the door before following him down the hall and into the kitchen. At first my full attention was on him, just glaring at him and trying to figure him out, but he was so… odd. It wasn’t just the way he’d greeted me either, my wolf was anxious, straight out squirming in discomfort around this guy. He was just off, and I couldn’t figure out why Scott would let someone so suspicious into his home.

Then my attention was torn away from him almost violently when I realized someone else was in the kitchen, and my eyes grew wide when they landed on Scott. His ink black hair had been pulled back out of his face and tied at the back, dressed in sweats and a black t-shirt with a worn university logo on the front. He still seemed to be half asleep, his green eyes bleary, but he was moving about in the kitchen almost methodically, preparing breakfast.

That was weird to me because he never used to cook much unless he was helping my mom, but shook the thought away as I watched the unknown redhead walk over to the island counter and sit down, propping his elbows onto the counter.

“He’s here,” he said, as if they’d been expecting me, but Scott just offered a heartbreaking smile and rubbed his eyes.

“Hm, who is?” he asked, and I could feel my heart jerking in my chest as I pushed myself forward, smiling crookedly.

“You might be an early riser, but you’re definitely not a morning person, huh?”

His eyes widened, suddenly awake, and snapped his head in my direction, his lips parting like he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. He just stared at me, for so long I started to feel slightly panicked, until the weird redhead stood up and tapped the counter to gain Scott’s attention.

“I’m going to wake Rebel up.”

“Y-yea, thanks.”

I watched him leave the room, following him with just me eyes, and stepped further into the kitchen, “Weird guy,” I said, reaching the counter,

I set the thermos of terrible coffee down and pulled my attention away from the door that the redhead had left from, focusing my attention back on Scott and the way he was twisting his fingers in front of his stomach, head bowed and eyes one the countertop, his bottom lip secured between his teeth. I recognized those familiar signs of utter anxiety, Scott would always twist his fingers and bite his lip raw if he was nervous or scared about something, but why would he be nervous to see me again? He wasn’t even looking at me…

“I brought coffee,” I tried to break the ice, pushing the thermos closer to him, “Figured we could drink and talk before the pack wakes up and Cliff comes to drag me back to my study for work. You remember Cliff, right? My beta?”

He didn’t respond, didn’t even look at me, and I was starting to really worry, “Are you mad at me or something?” I asked, leaning on the counter, “Why aren’t you looking at me? Scott? Do you not remember me?” I walked around the counter to stand in front of him and grabbed his upper arms, turning him towards me.

A soft gasp fell from his lips and he finally lifted his head, his green eyes clashing with mine for the first time in almost nine years. He made a strange, soft noise, like he was choking, and lifted his hands to cover his mouth as he pinched his eyes shut.

“I-I wasn’t looking at you because I knew I’d cry,” he whimpered, tears spilling from between his tightly shut eyelids.

I just gaped at him before a warm smile broke over my face and I wrapped him into my arms, pulling him tight against my chest and setting my cheek in his soft black hair as I rocked on my feet and let him cry against my shirt.

“I thought you were mad at me,” I admitted softly, and he punched my shoulder.

“I am mad at you, for making me cry, asshole.”

I knew I shouldn’t, but I laughed, pulling away just enough so I could cup my hand onto his cheek, his glassy eyes growing wide at my touch, “I missed you so much,” I whispered to him, smiling softly, and pressing my forehead against his, “You have no idea. I missed you every day, dreamed about you every night, waited so long for you to come home, and you’re finally back.”

My eyes were burning as my voice hitched on the last word, and something seemed to break in Scott’s eyes as he lifted his hand to my face, “Malcolm,” he whimpered, “I missed you too.”

He wasn’t nearly close enough, and he didn’t protest when I slipped one of my hands around to the back of his head and pulled him closer, kissing him. He didn’t fight it, didn’t pull away, he raised his arms and wrapped them around my neck, tipping his head to the side and sinking into my arms as he pressed deeper into the kiss.

Some people would say I was acting rashly by kissing him so soon, but I couldn’t help it. It just felt so right to have him close again, this feeling of completion that I’ve been craving since the moment I woke up without him. It wasn’t an overly passionate kiss, there was no tongue and no teeth, but it was everything I would ever need.

When I pulled away it was mainly to let him breathe, I had every intention of pulling his lips back to mine, but when I tried he lifted a hand between us and pressed his fingers against my lips, his head bowed and his lips in a tight line.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, and he raised his head to look at me, pain in his eyes.

“I still love you,” he whispered, and I smiled.

“Good, I feel the same.”

I leaned forward, but he pulled out of my arms, “I can’t, Malcolm,” he said simply before turning to the stove where a pancake was burning. He cursed and grabbed the pan before scraping the bad food into the trash and pouring more batter to start a new pancake.

“Why?” I asked, the single word heavy on my tongue, “You just kissed me back, you didn’t pull away or-.”

“It’s complicated, Malcolm, please,” he said, his shoulders tense, “We made a promise.”

“Yea, I remember!” I laughed a little, “It’s literally the only thing that’s kept me going.”

Scott braced himself against the edge of the stove and bowed his head, “Malcolm, I’m married,” he breathed, and my smile faded quickly, my brows drawing as I stared at him, before a disbelieving scoff fell from my lips.

“Don’t be ridiculous, why would you kiss me-?”

“I found my chosen mate at the Paige Clan,” he didn’t let me finish, “Amos’ daughter, Priscilla. I… I know I should’ve written to you, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” he lifted a hand and covered his face with it, “I should have just done it, it would have made this easier, I’m so sorry, Malcolm.”

“Your chosen mate….,” I repeated, “Is…. She here in the house?” he shook his head, and I drew down my eyebrows, “Why? If you’re mates and you’re married shouldn’t you be living together?”

He shook his head again, “Our situation is complicated,” he said softly, “I can’t really explain it right now.”

“You’re not happy.”

“What about you?” Scott demanded, turning partway to glare at me, “Don’t you have a mate? It’s been nine years.”

My jaw tightened before I forced myself to answer, “You’re the only one I want,” his eyes grew, as if he hadn’t been expecting me to say that, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and that hasn’t changed.”

“We made a promise, Malcolm.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear. It just…. Came out before I realized what I was saying!”

Scott shook his head at me, looking confused, turning so he could flip the pancake over before looking back at me, “What are you talking about?”

I opened my mouth, but closed it almost immediately, reconsidering before saying, “You’ll be mad.”

“I’ll get over it eventually.”

“I rejected her,” I blurted, and his eyes gaped open in shock.

“Malcolm, you didn’t.”

“It just came out! I didn’t methodically plan on it, I got scared, all I was thinking was that I’d never be able to be with you, and I panicked, and I rejected her, I swear I would never consciously do that to someone!” I took a breath and shook my head, “It fucking hurt. Rejecting her made me physically ill, I had a high fever and couldn’t do anything for weeks. I couldn’t shift under the full moon for an entire year, it was terrifying, Scott, but I just couldn’t.”

Scott watched me as I explained what had happened, then turned back to the breakfast he was making and scooped the finished pancake onto an awaiting plate, “I guess you were already punished for it, then,” he said softly, pouring more batter into the hot pan, “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I mean about Priscilla,” he clarified, “I’m sorry I never told you.”

“It’s fine, Scott,” I tried to reassure him, ignoring the pain in my chest, “I mean we can still-.”

“We can’t be together,” Scott interrupted me before I could finish, pushing the finished pancake onto the plate and shutting off the stove, turning to face me with listless eyes, “We can’t.”

I watched him for a long time, part of me expecting him to change his mind, but in the end I just leaned against the counter and bowed my head, pressing my lips together as I stared at the ground, “I’ll never stop loving you,” I decided, lifting my head to see there were tears in his eyes again, “You can’t change that. Not even the goddess could change it by giving me a mate. I don’t care about custom or the will of the goddess, the one I want is you.”

I let my words sink in before pushing away from the counter and turning to return to the main house, “Malcolm!” Scott grabbed my arm before I could move, eyes wide and lips parted halfway through a sentence, sealing before he decided to speak again, “Stay for breakfast?”

I watched him for a long moment before smiling and reaching up to squeeze his hand in mine, “Sure.”