I was grateful that our second try at a normal family dinner went better than the first. There was no yelling between myself and Malcolm, and I didn’t burst out into tears. I was grateful that Shaede had been there with me, and that Rebel hadn’t freaked out as badly as he normally does around people he doesn’t know. It was likely because the atmosphere was so calm, even when Malcolm and Shaede got into that staring contest Rebel didn’t get scared. He even went to bed with that cute toy Wade gave him, which had me smiling so big my cheeks started to hurt.

I just had to give him a little more time and make sure he spends more time with Wade and Cecilia, people who actually care about him and not about his blood. Rebel would be fine, I was sure of it. Although during dinner I admit I had a few minor heart attacks, like when Malcolm called Rebel Wade’s grandson, that was a bit terrifying.

Luckily no one caught onto me choking on my water, so my secret was still safe. The one thing about that night that had me staying up in bed, staring at the ceiling, was the way Malcolm asked if I needed help carrying Rebel home. It was the way he was looking at Rebel, this heaviness in his eyes, not anger or resentment, but something deeper and far less sinister. Something sad.

Well, alright, that wasn’t the only thing that had me awake. The thing is, all wolves have a specific scent that is unique to the individual. Malcolm’s scent had always been a calming factor for me, it made me feel safe whenever I was near him, this natural scent like smoke and earth, but when he walked into the kitchen, that scent I loved had evolved into something different.

It was something deeper, mature, addicting, and it had my nerves buzzing as I breathed it in, a mix of smoke and spice. Truthfully it nearly brought me to my knees, but no one else had even flinched. It was just me, and I couldn’t help but think maybe Malcolm did that on purpose just to see how I would react to him smelling so appealing. If I didn’t have the self-control I did, I probably would have made a mistake.

That night I ended up touching myself like a fourteen-year-old boy watching porn, standing under the hot spray of the shower in my bedroom with one hand braced against the wall, head bowed as I played with myself until the heat that had been building since I smelt Malcolm finally released, letting me slump forward with a defeated sigh. That man could still do this to me, even after I’d told him so definitely that nothing could happen between us.

I think I understood what had happened at least. Whatever cologne he used had enhanced his natural scent to tempt those who were already attracted to him. Obviously, I was the only one there who had ever considered him my sexual partner, so I was the only one who wanted to tear his stupid clothes off. Either that, or I was just horny. It had been a while after all. I hadn’t slept with anyone since Malcolm. Eight years ago; it would be nine years this Friday.

That meant I needed to get revenge on him, right? I woke up to that thought, narrowing my eyes as I recalled Malcolm would be there later to work on the plans for the feast. I forced myself out of bed and searched my closet for the best clothes I could find, though I didn’t have much, then stepped into my bathroom for another shower.

I may have spent a little more time than I intended washing myself and my hair, but I was planning on getting revenge on Malcolm and making him incapable of concentrating for the entire day so I could have the smug satisfaction that he was losing his mind about as much as I was last night.

“Daddy?” I looked over at my bathroom door from where I was standing at the mirror fixing my hair, smiling when I saw Rebel standing there looking confused, already dressed.

“Hey baby, what’s the matter?”

He Tilted his little head, “You’ve been in the bathroom for a long time.”

“I have?”

“Almost two hours,” Shaede supplied, leaning against the doorframe above Rebel, “You look nice by the way.”

I blushed furiously and gaped at him, “Seriously? I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize!”

He smiled a little and shook his head, “It’s fine, but I had to make breakfast.”

“He made cereal,” Rebel said, and Shaede blushed a little as I laughed.

“Thanks. I’ll be out in a minute, I’m sorry I’ve taken so long. It was kind of a weird night for me.”

“Likewise,” Shaede mumbled, “Don’t make me socialize again.”

I laughed as he pulled Rebel from the door and lead him out of my bedroom, letting me turn back to the mirror so I could finish braiding the side sections of my hair, pulling them back and tying them together at the back of my head. I looked a lot nicer than I usually did, and I enhanced my scent using a cologne that matched it somewhat, and by the time I left my bedroom I felt pretty confident that Malcolm wasn’t going to be able to concentrate on anything but me.

Which, now that I thought about it while standing on the porch, might be a bad thing. What if he jumps me? God knows I wouldn’t be able to actually resist him, especially if he smelt as good as he had last night. No matter how much I denied that there would ever be anything between us, I didn’t think I’d fight very hard if we ended up in something heated.

“Something wrong?” Shaede asked from where he was standing at his truck, the hood popped open, “You look like your staring at the sun the way your squinting.”

“Oh, no,” I laughed, “Sorry, just thinking about something annoying.”

“Priscilla?”

“Sure.”

“Daddy!” I leaned against the railing of the porch and hummed as Rebel stood up from where he’d been kneeling, holding up a few cute flowers, “I found these! Can they make a bouquet?”

I laughed, “There aren’t enough for a full bouquet sweetie, but they are very cute flowers.”

He pouted a little and lowered his arm to stare at the flowers, “I wanted a bouquet for when papa comes to visit.”

My heart seized a little and I smiled softly as I walked over to the steps and sat down, holding my hands out for Rebel, “You know, baby, your daddy grew up here,” Rebel walked over to me and let me hug him, kissing his cheek; we were finally able to take off the band aid, and there was a small discolored scar there now, “I know where a whole field of those flowers are growing.”

Rebel’s mouth opened a little in a gasp and he leaned closer, clutching the few flowers he had against his chest, “Where?!”

I pointed over towards the houses just on the far side of us, directly across, “Behind that cabin is a huge field, there are flowers and even a little creek that flows directly to the ocean. You can go and get a whole bouquet and more if you want.”

Rebel was hopping on his feet at the prospect, but stopped when he turned around and looked at me uncertainly, “I want daddy to come with me.”

I knew he would say that, and I fought the cringe of empathy, because I wanted to go with him; if he was that scared, I wanted to be there for him, but Cecilia and Malcolm were both right. This pack was safe, and Rebel would be safe. He needed to learn on his own that he was brave.

“Baby you know I have work,” I sighed regretfully, because I really did feel awful about doing this, stroking his cheek with my thumb and smiling, “You have to go on your own this time.”

His eyes widened fearfully and he looked over his shoulder before turning back to me, shaking his head, “I’ll wait for you to finish work.”

“But if you do that,” I pinched his cheek, “All my favorites will be gone. Can you do this for me, sweetie? Bring me a bunch of my favorite flowers? They’re the little purple ones, but they’re super hard to find, and you’re the only one I trust to get just the right ones.”

Rebel’s gold eyes were wide in a mix of awe and fear, and he clenched his fists tighter around the flowers before he nodded in stark determination, “I’ll bring you all the purple flowers you want!” he decided, and I beamed proudly, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you so much baby. I’ll prepare a vase for them okay? Don’t take too long.”

Rebel nodded again and turned, standing on the lowest step and staring across towards the cabin in front of the field, then looked back and me, and I smiled reassuringly. He tightened his hold on the tiny fox stuffed animal and the flowers before hopping off the last step and walking forward.

I held my breath and lifted my hands up to my lips as I watched him, and sighed out heavily when he’d disappeared, my fingers twisting together and my elbows against my knees as I bowed my head against my fists.

“He’ll be fine,” Shaede tried to assure me, and I lifted my head up to smile at him.

“I know.”

“Zen stopped by earlier by the way,” he added, turning and leaning back against the bumper of his truck, “He wanted to talk to you about something.”

I blew out a heavy breath and stood up, “No rest for the wicked,” I joked, stepping off the porch and rubbing my neck, “I’ll go see what that’s about now. Remember Malcolm is supposed to be here soon, don’t get in any fights with him, at least until I get back.”

Shaede waved a hand dismissively at me and turned back to his truck, and I shook my head with a chuckle as I stepped forward. Zen had taken residence in a cabin near the middle of the pack, he wanted to be as close to the others as he could be for moral support, to keep an eye on a few people from Paige clan who were sick, and just in case anything happened so he could be right there to help.

He was a good man, looked rather young for his age, and a phenomenal healer. He taught me a lot of what I know about healing actually. I remember he was rather stunned when I showed a talent for healing, at first, he mistook me for a Shaman, so when he learned I was an alpha he was a bit bewildered.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from happily training me as much as he could, and I was all too happy to take his teachings to heart. Two healers were better than one after all. Zen was also one of the few in the Paige clan who never glared at Rebel or treated him harshly. In fact, Zen seemed to adore Rebel.

I was all too happy to come visit him for whatever he needed me for, feeling almost amused when I found he’d actually taken the front door of his cabin off its hinges and replaced it with beads. That wasn’t strange, he hated doors getting in the way, especially if there were potentially sick people who needed his help. His door was always open because he didn’t have doors, which of course Amos laughed hysterically at while the poor beta had a freaking heart attack thinking someone might come into Zen’s house and murder him or something.

“Knock, knock,” I narrated while knocking on the doorframe, stepping into the house and smiling when I found Zen in the living room with a dozen boxes filled with books that he was taking out, organizing, and putting up on the bookshelves that had replaced the couch and television.

He looked back at me and smiled, turning fully so I could see the red in his hair. It was just one section on the right side, the bangs sweeping to the right of his face were dyed red, while the rest of his hair was a pale blond color. Whenever I asked what that was even for, he just smiled and changed the subject.

Zen’s eyes were bright blue, glittering, I was happy he appeared to be in a better mood now, as Amos’ death hit him hard, “Good. Shaede said you were in the shower and I didn’t want to bother you, so I just left a message.”

“Yea, I got it. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he assured, turning to slip his books onto the shelf, “I just wanted to ask how you were doing is all, how you were settling in and how Rebel was taking everything.”

“He finally went off to play,” I said, and Zen beamed, “There’s a field just behind this row of cabins with flowers, and he wanted to pick some as a bouquet.”

“That’s fantastic,” Zen agreed, “How about you?”

I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged, “You know, the same as usual. I’m happy to be back though. I know Amos tried hard to make Paige clan home for me, but… I missed it here. I missed the family I made here, and the friends. I was never really accepted into Paige clan, and even now I’m the alpha I’m still not really accepted,” I sighed and bowed my head, “Rebel has it even worse, but I’m hoping he’ll break out of his shell now that we’re somewhere safer.”

Zen looked pained, but he didn’t deny any of what I said, simply smiled weakly, “I wish I could apologize for what you and he were both put through. As long as you understand Amos and I never condoned that.”

“I know,” I reassured with a soft chuckle, “You and Amos were some of the few people who actually didn’t care about Rebel having dirty blood.”

“Because it doesn’t matter,” Zen laughed, looking over his shoulder towards me, “You’re a good man, Scott, and a good father, an amazing alpha, and beta Grant and I are here to help any way we can.”

“I appreciate it,” I sighed in relief, walking further into the room, “Do you need any help?” I asked, pulling open one of the boxes, “I have a bit of time before Malcolm shows up, I don’t mind.”

Zen was laughing, pushing himself onto his toes and stretching his arm up to get a book on one of the higher shelves, a difficult task for a man shorter than me, “I think I can handle it. Grant should be stopping by to help some.”

“Are you sure? Do you want me to get that book up for you?”

“Don’t be silly, I got this,” Zen assured, leaning against the bookcase and shoving the book into place with his fingertips, “Ha, see?”

I laughed and shook my head before looking down at what was sitting on top of all the boxes. It was a framed photo, an old one by the looks of it, with Zen in it, much younger, younger than I was now in fact. The streak of red was gone from his hair, but he was standing with another man, Shaman by eye, with bright red hair that matched what Zen put in his hair now, and dark green eyed that looked like pools of emerald.

Looking at this man made something warm grow in my chest, my fingers rubbing dust away from the glass of the picture so I could see him better, “Hey… who is this man?”

“Hm?” Zen craned his neck back, eyes going wide as the books fell from his arms and hit the floor before he spun around and shut the box, his face paler than usual, “No one!” I pulled my hands back and gaped at Zen as he walked around the box and took my arm, tugging me towards the door, “You should go. If I need help unpacking I’ll just call you, but you have boxes to unpack as well I’m sure,” he laughed weakly and pushed me out the door, standing in the threshold and waving, “Have fun.”

I stared at him for a moment before shrugging a little and turning, hiking down the steps, and waving back at Zen before heading back towards my cabin. I decided to take the long way, so I would have more time to think about what just happened, and passed between two cabins so I could walk behind them along the tree line.