Since the first day, no matter how tired she was, Tadayoshi made her collect firewood. It was part of her exercises, according to him, and today was no exception. Ei forced herself to sit down and then stand up. Her legs barely endure her own weight, each step taking an immense effort.

She didn’t have to walk far from the clearing though. There was plenty of firewood around and in no time, she had enough for a decent fire. She considered getting more for the next morning, but her body didn’t allow.

It took more time to come back than it should, the extra weight slowing her down too much. When she finally dragged her body back to the clearing, the sun had set and Tadayoshi wasn’t around. Ei dropped the firewood near their belongings and picked up her sword. With great effort, she managed to sheath the wakizashi.

Despite her exhaustion, Ei had almost finished setting the firewood by the time Tadayoshi came back. It was also her everyday task.

“That was fast.” Tadayoshi had a smile when he dropped the fruits near her and started working on the fire. Soon he had a flaming piece of wood, holding sideways with the tip of his fingers with caution.

He’s always like this near fires, Ei thought while the flames engulfed the firewood, the fire crackling happily.

Before she realized, Ei got closer to the fire. Not because of the cold; the summer nights were warm and the trees blocked most winds. Despite the heat, she didn’t want to be far from the light. Even though it was almost full moon, it hid behind the clouds, and the few rays of light that came through died at the treetops. Right now, the fire was the only light keeping the darkness from embracing her completely.

She wasn’t afraid of the dark. In fact, Ei was proud of being one of the few kids who played until dark, even when most were too scared. Her mother used to complain a lot. But that was in her home, in her village. She had never been this far from everything she knew. I miss home…

The thought of running back had crossed her mind more than once. To see the faces of Dai-jii, Sumire, Kenta and all her friends. But she had made a promise to herself. Never she wanted to feel helpless again.

I’ll be strong, she reminded herself once again. That is why she decided to follow Tadayoshi. The man who denied being a samurai could fulfill her wish. But even with her determination, Ei sat a bit closer to the fire.

Lost in thought, it took her a while to notice what Tadayoshi offered. On one hand, he held two peaches without saying anything. The first time he joked asking if he would have to save a village for the peaches again. Though he had collected more, he saved some fruits for the next morning, just like always.

He said he didn’t like looking for food when he woke, but Ei knew there was something else. The swordsman had some kind of hurry, though he said he had nowhere to go whenever she asked.

On the other hand, Tadayoshi offered one of two the last rice balls. Sumire had made enough to last two weeks at the most, but since they rationed, it had last this long, though they were stale. So we’re gonna have only fruits from now on, she thought, accepting her share.

They tried hunting a few times. To her surprise, Tadayoshi knew how to cook a bit, but he hated the extra work. Ei had also complained about the taste and since her culinary capacities were near non-existing, neither of them suggested hunting again.

In her defense, Ei had said she almost never cooked at home. Her mother loved teaching her, or at least she tried. But after many disastrous attempts, she gave up and said they would only try again when Ei was older.

The memory felt like a sword in her heart and she hugged her knees. Ei avoided those thoughts, but whenever she was exhausted, the feelings rushed back. She would never forget her mother, nor her old life. But ever since Ei said goodbye to everything, she wouldn’t cry again. That is what she promised herself.

Dai-jii, Sumire and her cousin, Kenta, the last family she had left, wouldn’t let her go with Tadayoshi, even if he was the man they owed their lives. We’re safe now, they said. There won’t be any more problems and thanks to our Lord, we’re gonna live in peace. They tried everything to keep her from leaving.

But she knew that peace was a lie. Could be bandits or even their lord’s enemies again, but they could lose everything and everyone in mere instants. She didn’t want that. She wanted more. They knew there was no way to stop her, so they forced her to swear she would run away and come back home at the first sign of danger. Ei did promise, but deep in her heart she aware she would never keep that promise. But at times like this, when the memories were stronger, her will faltered.

Trying to push the sadness and homesickness away, Ei devoured her food in few bites. It was enough for her body, but it did not bring her any ease. She turned to Tadayoshi, looking for a few words of comfort.

In the few weeks they knew each other, Ei soon learned he liked to tease. She became the target of his jokes and sarcasm. But, in the right moments, he listened to her and made her feel better. Ei was starting to rely on him in that area more than she was willing to admit.

Tadayoshi had already finished his food and was now getting ready to sleep. He tossed around a few times on the ground until he found a comfortable position. Soon his chest moved up and down slowly.

“I’m impressed you’re still up. I thought you’d faint after today’s training.”

Ei was surprised and then chuckled. One of the things she envied about him was the fact that he could fall asleep fast anywhere. She, on the other hand, spent too much time tossing around until her conscience drifted away. But like he had done many times, he would listen to her.

“Just say it. I’m tired too,” he said, yawning.

There was so much Ei had no idea where to start. Even though she trusted him, she barely knew anything about him. Apart from their time together, what she knew were the rumors that had reached even her small and isolated village. Even though she refused to believe, the samurai’s words still echoed in her mind.

Ei wanted to ask, but was hard. Though most times Tadayoshi smiled when something related to Yasuhiro-sama came up, the few times he didn’t smile frightened her. His face became dark and terrifying and Ei could only see pain in his eyes. She tried to ignore all this time, but the shadow was always there, deep within her mind, growing whenever she least expected.

She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to find the right words. “I never thought you would have trouble saying something,” he said.

Ei took a deep breath. She had to know the truth. “Did you…” She almost lost her voice, but she forced herself to say it. “…kill Yasuhiro-sama?”

For a moment Ei wasn’t sure he heard her. Not because of the sound of the fire, nor the sounds of the forest. It was because she barely whispered. But a heartbeat later, she knew he had. Though she couldn’t see his face, she felt he was wide-awake now.

Tadayoshi stood still for a long time before finally sitting down and turning to her. He picked up a twig and feed it to the fire, but his expression was empty as he stared the flames. “What do you know about my master?” He wasn’t accusing her, nor was he defensive. He wasn’t even angry. He was just asking.

Ei wasn’t sure if it was the fire playing tricks, but his face became darker. “Everyone in my village knows about Yasuhiro-sama. I think everyone in the country knows.”

She remembered occasional travelers and even soldiers who came to collect taxes talking about Yasuhiro-sama. Some claimed they even knew him personally. She never believed them though.

“We grew up listening to the tales about him. We only know him through the stories, but he’s… he was like a hero to us… When we heard he was dead, it was like we’d lost someone close.” Ei remembered that day. A few grown-ups had gone to the castle to buy tools and returned with the news. “They said Yasuhiro-sama was betrayed by his disciple, who killed him when he was wounded because…” Ei trailed off when she saw Tadayoshi’s face becoming even darker.

“Go on,” he whispered. “I’d like to know what you heard.”

Ei gulped and looked down, afraid to look his face. Somehow the air grew colder despite the fire and the girl shivered. “Some say yo… the disciple did that because he wanted Inori-sama. But Yasuhiro-sama didn’t allow. His daughter was promised to the son of the emperor himself. When yo…the disciple heard that, he took the opportunity and after he killed Yasuhiro-sama, he went to Inori-sama’ room and…”

She couldn’t bring herself to say the rest. How can I say he forced himself on her and got her pregnant? The look on Tadayoshi’s face was too much for her. She had seen a similar expression only once; after the samurai revealed his name during the fight and everyone looked at him full of hate. But even then, it wasn’t like this, she thought.

“I knew the rumors were bad, but this…”

They stayed in silence for a long time. She tried to think of something to change the mood.

“My favorite story is the one where Yasuhiro-sama invades the castle and saves Kouhime-sama. And the one where he defeats an entire ninja village alone. Dai-jii liked telling the one where he gave all his money and belongings apart from his sword to help a villa…” Ei lost the words again when she saw Tadayoshi’ face beaming with a smile.

“Those stories were… let’s say slightly changed.” His smile widened with his laugh. “The old man didn’t invade that castle, he was invited. And what he did to Hikari-sama was technically kidnapping, depending on the point of view. About the money thing… he hated talking about that, but his wife would tell anyone who’d listen. He actually gambled with a kid and lost for real.”

Ei couldn’t help but smile too. But slowly his laughed died and the smile vanished. His face became dark again and the air, heavy. For a long time, the sound of fire was the only thing breaking the silence in the clearing. Tadayoshi stopped staring at the flames and looked her straight in the eyes.

“It’s true I killed my master,” he whispered. “But it wasn’t because I wanted. And Inori…sama… there’s no way I’d hurt her…” Tadayoshi covered his face to hide the tears. After a long time, he lowered his hand. “They call me the man without loyalty, but that’s a lie. Everything I am is thanks to master! I’d rather die than betray him!” he finished, breathing hard.

There was a strange intensity in his eyes, but Ei could not find any lies in them. She was flooded with relief and breathed. Only now she realized she held her breath ever since Tadayoshi looked into her eyes.

“If I tell you what really happened, you’d never believe. I promise I’ll tell you someday.” The heavy mood was gone and the next moment he was back to his comfortable position. “Go to sleep. You need to recover your energy. There’s a long road before you start training for real.”

It took a while for her to understand his words. When she did, a spark of anger crossed her face. “Then what I did today? Wasn’t that a technique?”

“No.” He sneered. “That was just basic.” And he went to sleep.

Ei took a deep breath and let go of her angry. Then she noticed something unexpected. She felt calm. The bond between them hadn’t changed. No… it did change, she realized with a tiny smile. It’s stronger.

Along with another wave of relief, came the sleepiness, hitting her like a sword. Ei could barely keep her eyes open now. She tried moving, but her body didn’t respond right away. Sit in the same place for so long left her legs aching. With difficulty, she stood up and shook them a bit.

Now it was her turn to find a comfortable patch of ground. She found none. Giving up, she simply laid down near the fire. However, despite her tiredness, sleep didn’t come right away.

For some reason her mind was restless. Once again she envied Tadayoshi’s ability to sleep anywhere anytime. Thinking about him, Ei turned and stared his back. He wasn’t big nor muscular, nevertheless, he seemed huge to her. She finally slept.