Lucas

Song: She wants me dead by CAZZETTE

“Well? You want one or not? I don’t have all fucking morning.”

She was being nice to me. This has to be a trap. I glared at her with suspicion as she held open a box full of sweets in front of me. “What did you put in them?”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Jeez! Their from my Aunt’s cafe out on 12th Street okay? We had extras last night and she said I could take some home with me,” she explained. “So are you going to take one or am I just going to have to go give them to Harold?”

Harold the old perverted janitor? I can’t even imagine what he would do with those! I tentatively took one of the yellow and white squares from the box and bit into it. It was fucking delicious! I had to bite my cheek to make sure I didn’t moan. How can something taste so good?!

Mia must have seen the face I made, because she started to smile. “Good right?”

I nodded. “Can I have another one?”

She shrugged and dropped the box on my desk. “Take ‘em all. I have too much at home and I can always get more. You should try the cupcakes,” she said pointing at one that looked like Cookie Monster. “I made them myself.”

With that she walked off to her desk at the front of the room. I couldn’t help but wonder what made her so happy. It was almost like the notes gave her a totally different personality. It’s a good thing I hid more. Chris had come up and stole one of the yellow squares out of the back and flopped down in the desk next to me while taking a bite.

“Dude! These are fucking heaven!” he moaned. “Did one of your fangirls make ‘em?”

“Mia did. She came in and offered me some.”

“See? What did I tell you? Like a cat.”

I frowned at him. “Do you think those notes did something? She didn’t even call me Hothead.”

Chris just chuckled. “Dude, you’re acting like you want her to beat you up. Maybe she’s just trying to make up for sending you flying the other day.”

I thought about it for a bit. Maybe she is, it would make this a little less awkward. I picked up the cupcake she pointed to earlier and chuckled. She really made it look like him. It was a chocolate cupcake with almost neon blue icing for the fur and little candy painted eyes, to top it off there was a cookie sticking out like the monster was in the middle of eating it. I unwrapped it with a smile and took a bite. Holy shit, it practically melted in your mouth, it was so moist. How do you get something like this?

Chris laughed. “Okay, you need to stop eating that stuff. You look like you’re going to have a fucking orgasm.”

“This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted! You have to try this.” I thrusted the other half into his mouth before he could argue.

As soon as the cake touched his tongue his eyes rolled back. “This is a sin. Nothing should taste this good. Maybe my dad can get the recipe from her.” Chris’s dad was a world class chef and baker with ten restaurants and bakeries.

“I don’t think so. She seems to be too proud of her work to give it all away to him.”

Chris stood up and straightened his clothes. “You never know unless you ask.” with that he walked over to ask for her recipe.

I watched as he tried to charm her. Mia didn’t look too impressed with his antics either. He must have gotten to the point, because she frowned saying something back. Chris said something back with a bigger smile. She stood looking even more pissed, slapped him and started telling him off. I knew she wasn’t going to like it. Chris stumbled back, holding his cheek.

“She didn’t like my proposal,” he said.

I chuckled. “I can see that. What did you say to her anyway?”

“I said she should sell me the recipe. It would get more popular at one of dad’s places instead of the little hidden box they call a cafe.”

Now I don’t feel sorry at all. “It’s your fault. Even I know better than to insult her family.”

He just pouted in his seat. “Whatever. At least I’m not trying to sleep with her.”

The teacher came in before I could give him a comeback. Damn it. He started class when the warning bell rang, which drove everyone mad. He always thought the warning bell was the final bell, because from where he grew up, that’s what happened. Our teachers were normally Mains, with faces and nice suits and ties. It was very rare to see a Blank as a teacher or really anyone too important in this world.

As the lesson went on, I could feel my stomach start cramp. It started out as a little to ache to someone pushing on my gut. To make matters worse, I felt like I needed to take a huge shit. What the hell is happening to me? I turned to tell Chris but he was hunched down, holding his stomach for dear life. Don’t tell me we both have it! The pain increased as class went on, it even went to having to take a shit so bad I could hear my stomach move.

I stood up with my hand raised slightly trying to get the teacher’s attention. “Um, can I go to the bathroom?”

Chris stood up. “Me too!”

Without saying a word, the teacher waved us out with an okay, and we dashed our way to the nearest bathroom to relieve the pressure. If you were walking by you would think someone was having an ulcer and to be honest, it kind of felt like that.

“Lucas?” Chris whimpered in the stall next to me.

“Yeah buddy?”

“You got those pastries from Mia right?” A groan and long wet fart came soon after he asked.

The force of the shit came suddenly, making me hold onto the sides of the stall for dear life. “You know I got those from her! You tried to get her to give you recipe!”

“I can’t believe it, but, dude, I think she poisoned us with cupcakes.”

I groaned. She really is a bitch.