Dear Nobody,

Okay, how do people make friends? And on top of that how do people get significant others??? Like how the fuck does that happen. 

Scenario Unus- Attractive female around my age is sitting a few desks away.

Me- Hi I'm El, you are attractive and I'm a potato. Do you want to go to the movies on Saturday?

NOT ONLY WOULD I GET REJECTED FASTER THAN I CAN COME UP WITH A HARRY POTTER QUOTE BUT I'D ALSO NEVER HAVE A CHANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE CAUSE ALMOST ALL OF THE GIRLS HERE ARE STRAIGHT!!!!

And it's also awkward with friends because what if they aren't interested and things get awkward or you do go out and then things fall apart and your friendship is lost.

Also, I'm not sure if I actually have a crush on this girl or if it's just convenient because we both have interest in women and we are both single? It's okay she's got a crush on this older guy and only talks to me during like two classes.

So, Nobody, how do I 1 find a girl who likes girls and is interested in me and 2 ask said girl out? 

I honestly just want to go on a date and cuddle with someone. I've never gone on an actual date before. 

My impression of myself- whine whine whine I'm so lonely whine whine whine social awkward nerd whine whine whine im a potato that has the ability to type whine whine whine no one loves me.

Pretty accurate right? 

Okay. I can do this. I just need to flirt.

Pick up lines are acceptable right?

Thanks for listening,

The WritingEvil

Bad Color Guard Pick Up Line I am tOtALly nOt going to use at the next football game- You think that stripper is good with a pole you should see me at halftime ;* 

I'm going to die alone at 30 with three dogs and I've accepted this. Can I at least have my first kiss before this happens?