After the summer was over I always felt an absence in my chest watching them leave. Maybe it was because I knew I was going to be alone again. I always told myself I liked being alone, that it was easier that way, but after a summer full of laughter and the feeling of being wanted by somebody I didn’t feel that way anymore. I always missed them because they gave me something my own parents couldn’t. They showed me what it was like to have a family who was always there for you and even though I loved my mom and dad I wanted that so much. It broke my heart watching the car pull away. Yet, knowing that they would be back again next summer gave me some kind of assurance. I may have dreaded being hung on by Lucas, but the truth was it was better than having no one at all. He was like a little brother to me, just because he annoyed me didn’t mean I didn’t love him in some weird sense.

They would leave and school would come back around. Without them around to hang out with I was always drowning in school work and classes. After a few years I realized I always became gloomier and stopped playing sports and going to the beach when they were gone. It was clear to me that I only did those things because Lucas wanted to. I honestly was a really boring guy without all of them. I felt emptier and more inclined to do more school work then go out and play. This was why I only had a handful of close friends. Most of my classmates didn’t care who I was because I was the shy kid in the back row. No one cared about me, not like Lucas.

The summer before my junior year in high school was the last year I saw Lucas. I was dreading seeing him again. Not only because I was a high schooler having to hang out with a middle schooler, but because he had gotten extremely clingy the summer before to the point was he staying the night every other night.

That summer he kept asking me to teach him things I learned when I was a freshman so he would be ahead of the others. He got a sudden urge to look through my old yearbooks and read all the comments from my friends. He even started looking at worksheets I had saved. When he wasn’t interested in all the school work I did he wanted to play soccer in the rentals back yard even though he knew I did not like sports at all. He used to tell me it was how you bond with people. I tried to tell him that was usually a father son thing but he kept persisting no matter what. He started asking to borrow books I read and wanted to meet my school friends. He asked me about all the things I liked and wanted to try all my favorite foods. I started feeling uncomfortable.  It seemed like he was trying to get too close to me.

It would be a lie to say this didn’t freak me out more than it probably should have. I had always kept a certain distance between me and him. I was never shy to tell him that I didn’t like him clinging onto me that much. He always thought I was joking and would hug me telling me we would be close forever. At the end of the summer my patience was running extremely thin.

It was a warm summer night that things changed between us. My small group of friends were going to celebrate our last week of summer before going back to school at the local diner that stayed open 24/7.

There was a knock on my door right as I was putting my coat on. I instantly knew who it was and an unpleasant feeling washed over me. I opened the door slowly to see the shorter boy standing on the doorstep. His hair was short, almost shaved, and he had scrapes on his face from what I assumed was playing sports by himself in the yard.

“Kain!” he launched himself forward and wrapped himself around me which was weird because at this point he was as tall as me. I patted his back for a few seconds before I pushed him off.

“Let go, I have somewhere to be,” I mumbled and moved to shove my feet into my shoes.

The moment his eyes lit up like stars I knew I had made a mistake. “Where are you going? Can I come?”

I gritted my teeth. “No, I’m going out with my friends.”

“Your friends? I want to meet them! You haven’t let me meet them.”  He reached out and grabbed my hands and starting to swing them between us excitedly.

I yanked my hands away and his limply fell to his sides. “No way, it’s just for my friends. We don’t need a little kid with us.”

“But Kain, I am your friend and I’m not a little kid. Plus I’m leaving tomorrow too. Don’t you want to hang out with me?” I could see the trembling of his lip and the shiny glint of his eyes he got before he cried, but I didn’t care. I was so tired of him, tired of him ruining my summer, tired of him getting up in my space, tired of him taking up all my time.

“For the last time Lucas, you are not my friend. You are just the annoying kid next door. When will you get it?” my voice was clipped and angry. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he stared up at me.

“You are joking right?” he looked at me pleadingly with wide eyes. He waited for me to say something but I stayed quiet. “Kain please…you are just joking, right? That’s just one of your mean jokes that are not that funny.”

I sighed and rubbed at my forehead, feeling a head ache coming on. “No, I’m not. We are not friends. I’m leaving so move.”

I pushed past him and walked out into the dark night. I tried to block him out but I could hear sniffling. He was definitely crying but I didn’t care. I just kept on walking.

I was about to get in my car when he called out my name. I turned and all I saw was tears dripping down his face. I waited for him to say something but he didn’t, so I got in my car and left.