Why do I bother?

My best is never enough.

Not for this horrible speed-obsessed world.

There is no true multitasking.

Except in 'approximately' 1% of the entire human population.

According to science.

The rest of us can only switch our focus between tasks at best.

A tactic that's also been proven to be far less effective than focusing on one task in sequence.

What's the use in the existence of such an ability since it's not available to most of us?

I'd say that makes it pretty damn useless.

I'm absolutely certain I'm not part of the 'lucky' 1%.

Hell!

My damaged brain can barely manage to switch tasks on a dime half the time.

Let alone to a level that can be considered useful.

Interruptions in the middle of a task tend to throw me off.

My skills are rarely recognized much less acknowledged.

On the other hand.

My faults are consistently thrown in my face on a daily basis.

And mom always wonders why I'm such a quitter.

Can never finish anything.

Almost never.

Not that even that much gets much acknowledgement.

See the pattern?

To my brain, being unable to finish a task assigned to me...

By myself or others...

Equals failure.

Failure is demoralizing.

Demotivating.

Especially when it's consistent.

It's hard to 'want' to keep trying your best when your effort--blood,sweat and tears--are almost never understood let alone appreciated.

Never fully appreciated.

At least, not till after you're dead.

Is too much to ask for enough positive reinforcement to even things out?

Often the tiniest mistake is made out to be damn near the end of the world!

That you can't live down, except 'maybe' when the next mistake comes along.

But good deeds and success?

More often than not, it's a momentary pat-on-the-back and/or "Good <insert appropriate noun>".

Easily and usually quickly forgotten.

But a weak attempt at acknowledgement and motivation is supposed to be better than nothing.

Right?

I'd say that's highly debatable.

I give my best.

My all.

Even when it doesn't seem like it.

Even when it takes everything I have just to keep moving.

Keep standing.

It's never enough.

Not good enough.

Not bad enough.

Just not enough.

For this horrible world.

I guess that's why it's going all to hell.