It's been three years, my parents are Connor and Michelle Varenheist. And I'm Alucard Varenheist... why did my parents have to be nerds!!!

"Alli! Say, mama!" My mother Michelle said. Yes, I haven't spoken for three years, they're starting to think I'm a mute.

"..." I just shook my head.

"Michelle honey, maybe he wants to say something else, isn't that right Alucard? Say, Dada! Come on! Say dada!" He said as he picked me up.

'Three... Two... One!'

I vomit in his face.

"Aagh! Eew! Alucard!" Seeing him disgusted is actually pretty funny.

"Hehehe" I laughed. Which left my parents speechless.

"He... he laughed... Alucard laughed!" My mother shouted in joy.

"Yeah... eew, he did!" My father said. Still disgusted.

"Connor, get over here... let him puke on you again! I want to record it this time!" My mother said crazily.

"What? No! I'm not letting that little demon near me again!" He shouted in protest.

'Since they know I can talk, eh. Fuck it' I thought.

"Dada's a douche!" I said, once again leaving my parents speechless.

"Alli... how did you know that word?" My mother asked shocked.

"Yes! He said dada! He likes me more!" While my dad... my dad was jumping up and down like a child.

"Uum... I heard dada say it, mama~" I said as cutely as I could.

'Time to turn these two against each other! Hahaha!' I thought evilly.

"Connor!!!" My mother shouted in anger.

"W-what is it, sweetheart?" Dad replied in a fearful tone.

"You taught our child a bad word!" She shouted.

"But, I-" Dad was trying to come up with an excuse but was interrupted.

"You're sleeping on the couch all week now!" She shouted, picked me up and left the room.

"Fuck!" I heard him shout.

"Fuck" I repeated in moms arms.

"CONNOR!!!" Mom shouted in fury.