Katlyn had moved downstairs for the first time in a month. She was decked out on the couch staring off into nothingness. That was still better than turning to dust in her bed upstairs. Katee had opened all the windows in the house to air it out. The cold December breeze filled the living room with the smell of leaves and brisk air.

“You know I haven’t had sex in over a month? How did that happen?” Katee said.

Katee knew that her sister wouldn’t respond to her. She was talking to a mute as far as she was concerned. She needed someone to vent to though. Her built up sexual frustration resonated off of her. Her sister was more important, obviously, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be frustrated. Taking care of Katlyn had taken priority over everything else. Katee couldn’t leave her. She could get more hours at work again. She could find someone to sleep with again. She couldn’t find a new sister. She couldn’t live with herself if she wasn’t there for her entirely. She could still vent though.

“You think I’m distant? He was distant. He couldn’t see past a pen and financial report. Not if his life depended on it.”

Katlyn was listening. Even if Katee thought she was in her own lost world. I could feel Katlyn’s ears going to work. She was taking in everything Katee was saying. She wanted her to go out and have a drink with her friends. She wanted her to go out and get laid. But she was grateful that instead of doing those things her sister was with her. The smell of dead skin cells and filth had started to leave the house. The smell of a new winter was invading her personal space. She was okay with that though. Winter had always been Layla’s favorite season. Not because of the holidays or presents. Not because of time off from school. It was her favorite because of the smells and sounds that came with the season. The crunch of frozen leaves beneath her feet. The chilly air maneuvering its way up your nose and into your lungs. Layla loved walks through the park early in the morning. She didn’t sleep in like normal kids. She wanted to see the world wake and come to life. While most thought of the world coming to life in the spring when the blooms began, Layla thought that chirping birds and the snowy animal foot prints were the most beautiful part of life. Life in the cold. A flower in the frost. The vision of a cold breath.

Katlyn got up and put her shoes on. She looked over at her sweaters but decided against it. She wanted to feel the cold on her skin. She walked out into the front yard, leaving the door open behind her. The grass in her yard greeted her with a glisten. It shined with frost. She walked over it and listened to the cold crunch. Each step taking her further from her house and towards better memories. She reached the fence and looked out at the neighborhood around her. Everyone getting ready to go to work. Kids heading down the street towards the bus stop.

She felt a sharp pain in her side at that sight. The bus stop was the beginning of end for Layla. She started to feel weak. She was about to faint. Katee’s hand was on her side though. She hadn’t heard her sister sneak up behind her but there she was.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. Let’s go back inside,” Katee said.

“No.” Katlyn replied.

Katee looked surprised.

“Okay. We can stay out here for as long as you want.”

“I just want to breathe the air for a little longer,” Katlyn said.

“Okay.”

They stood there together for a few minutes. Katee was trying her hardest not to shiver. She didn’t want to go in without her sister but it was becoming hard to ignore the chill.

“We’re going to get sick if we stay out here for too long,” Katee said.

“Okay. We can go back in.”

Katee held her sisters hand and brought her back inside. She walked towards the kitchen expecting Katlyn to head back to the couch. When she looked back Katlyn was looking at the coat rack. Layla’s rain coat was still hanging. Like much of Layla’s stuff, nothing had been moved since the accident.

“Hey stub. Do you want something to eat?”

Katlyn turned and looked at her. She wasn’t crying, not quite. But tears were definitely hanging out around her eyes. She was doing a good job keeping it together though.

“Yeah. It still smells in here. We should make cookies. The house always smells better when cookies are in the oven,” Katlyn said.

They hadn’t even had breakfast yet but Katee wasn’t about to argue. Especially since it was true. The house always smelled better when cookies were in the oven. Layla made a point to remind everyone of that. It was always her way of trying to convince her mom to make cookies, regardless of what time it was.

“You want to come over here and help me then?” Katee asked.

All Katlyn could do was nod. Then she walked into the kitchen and began to pull mixing bowls out of the cabinets.