6.
“Please don't walk too far behind, I don't want you to be the first group I lost during a tour!” Jonathan called after we walked for a minute. I was one of these kids, staying far in the back, but not to close to the teachers and my friends, who where the last ones. It was one of these moments where you think about how bad your life is sometimes and no one really cares about you. The truth is, I was distancing myself. I looked ahead for some comfort, but Jack was no where in sight. I was thinking mainly of him. I tried telling myself that it wasn't love, and I'm not depressed because he will never like me back, he will never acknowledge me, he will never notice me, never talk to m-
“Hey, why are you so gloomy and all alone?” Jack asked me, pulling me out of my black pit of despair. I let out a quiet and short questioning noise as I looked at him, in his full glory, standing beside me, almost the same height as me. Smiling, waiting for an answer to his question, that I kind of forgot, like everything else at the time.
“You startled me,” I blurt out, immediately shutting my lips tight and tried to look away, but his eyes just seemed to draw me in. He chuckled slightly, “sorry, didn't mean to,” and looked in front of him, his smile fading a bit. “I was just wondering why you're not walking with your friends, and I don't want to assume, but you looked a little sad,” he explained while I had my mouth hanging open because of hearing such things from no one other than- him. “Were you watching and judging me?” I asked with narrowed eyebrows and a small smile, imitating a confused look. His eyes went wide for a second, taken aback by my comeback, quickly trying to come up with an excuse. “W- what? No, I mean, yes, I guess...” then stopped to burst out in laughter with his eyes closed.
At this moment, even if it was only for a little while, time seemed to stop, or go slower. I watched him laughing like that, feeling blood rush to my cheeks; watching his profile, his closed eyes, his open mouth, his lips, his hair, hearing his voice, his laugh. And I thought to myself that I did that, I made him laugh. Hell, he even talked to me! Out of his own will! He was concerned because he thought I looked sad (which I was), he was noticing me. For the first time in a long time I felt a sudden rush of happiness spreading through my body, watching him like this made me more happy than anything in the last 2 months, maybe even years! But more than that, I felt a slight hope, a chance, even if it was just 0.001% or smaller, I still thought that I – we could have a chance.
“You're right, though. I was watching you,” he said like it wasn't the best thing I've heard today. “Oh,” I simply replied, not knowing what to say, because I never thought about it being possible. “Thanks, I guess, for looking at me,” I quietly thanked him, breaking eye contact, for I can no longer be held captive in these hypnotizing gems! “Umm, you're welcome?” he said back with a slight confusion, “but shouldn't you rather thank me for worrying, and not exactly for just, looking at you? Not that you need to thank me, but looking at someone doesn't always has to do with something like concern,” he continued to lecture me, holding my eyes captured again – I just couldn't help it.
“It could be a stalker, for example!” he explained with a smirk and eyelids half closed, making him look extremely hot – just saying. I bet I would have moaned, or do something equally stupid, if his joke wasn't that funny for me to laugh now, too. “Are you serious?” I asked him, still laughing a bit. “Sure am!” he answered confident, holding his head high. “But who would want to even stalk me,” I asked a bit skeptical, not knowing what I wanted to get out of this question.
“Well, I bet there are a lot of pedophiles who think you're cute, just saying there's always a chance,” he explained with a shrug and a soft smile, what quickly faded as he noticed my expression. “Wait, did I say something wrong?” he asked a bit worried. I snapped out of it and shook my head, “no no, it's nothing. Just admiring your good explanations!” I reassured him, smiling.
“Thanks for cheering me up though, I really appreciated it Jack. I'm going back to my friends now, but it was nice talking to you!” I said goodbye as he smiled. I went back to my friends and he to his, who seem to bombard him with questions, I could imagine as not that nice, seeing his facial expression anger.
But I didn't care. Jack talked to me. He noticed me. He tried cheering me up. He was worried about me. And he said I'm cute! Well, not directly, but he said some people would find me cute. And that fact made me happy, that he thought I was worth something. Even if only to pedophiles.
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