“I didn’t expect to find you crying.”

I whipped my head around. Standing behind me was a boy, either eighteen or nineteen. He had hair as black as the night sky that was shaved on the sides and had a longer top that fell into his face. He had dark eyes and piercings in his ears, on his lip, and in his eyebrow. His tank top revealed a tattoo on this right shoulder that was some kind of pattern I couldn’t see from where I stood. He was tall and stocky and staring at me with eyes that seemed to hold some kind of feeling.

“What do you want?” I asked sniffling, trying to wipe away any evidence of my breakdown.

“What...” the boys face dropped into a look of total confused. “You are Kain, right?”

The sound of my name made me jump. “Yes. Do I know you? Do we go to the same college?”

The boy’s expression dropped and he scratched at the back of his head. “Um no…we don’t.” His smile quirked up awkwardly. “It’s me, Lucas.”

I could feel my draw drop as my eyes looked over the boy again. “You’re who-da-whaty?”

“Lucas.” He said again but I still didn’t believe it. I took a step out of the water then another till I was placed right in front of him. I reached up to the taller boy and grabbed his face in my hands. He seemed surprised by my actions but didn’t move to pull away. I pulled his head towards me and turned it left and right, trying to examine it, but at a closer look I found that it was him. He was the boy with the missing teeth and shaggy hair I had met all those years ago.

“It really is you.” I exhaled in disbelief, the realization he was there in front of me not truly hitting me. “I thought you had gone all jock with the muscles and the crew cut and the football?”

He laughed out loud and I could feel the vibrations from where I held his cheeks. He grabbed my hands and slid them off. “Yeah that was me. I guess I had a change of heart you know? It was not who I was but who I thought I was supposed to be, you know? College really brought out the inner me. And I honestly had no muscles I think you imagined that.”

I thought back and I realized maybe he was right, but it still didn’t add up. None of this did.

“What are you doing here? I thought your family wasn’t coming this year, or really ever again. Plus I haven’t seen you in five years. I didn’t think you ever wanted to see me again for the rest of your life. So what happened? Are your moms here too?”

“Um.” He looked a little overwhelmed and he tugged on my hands which I didn’t realize he was still holding. “Let’s go up top and talk. There are a lot of things I think we need to say.”

He started to drag me up father away from the water to where a log we used to sit on all the time was. As I trailed behind him I began to realize what he meant. He was going to tell me why they were not coming anymore. Then he was probably going to tell me why he hadn’t come back since he started high school. Worst case scenario he was going to yell at me and tell me he hated me for the way I treated him and I would finally know for sure that he thought I was a horrible human.

When we finally sat down I was sweating and overthinking everything. I looked over to him and noticed he seemed calm besides some nervous fidgeting, nothing bad enough to be very visible unless you knew him well.

“So what is it you wanted to say?” I blurted almost automatically which made him chuckle nervously.

“I guess I need to talk to you about why I’m here and why I haven’t been back in a while.”

I could physically feel myself swallow down a glob of nerves. This was the moment I had been imagining for five years. I was ready for it but at the same time I wanted to stop it. However, no matter what was going on in me the words slipped out easily. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“So no my moms are not here and this is our last summer renting the house.” I felt the sadness in my stomach churn at the reminder. It hurt all over again just to hear him say it in person. I wanted to ask him why since his moms hadn’t explained it, but he started to tell me without my prompting. “I’m in college now and my parents want to start traveling the world again. I honestly would rather go home for the summer then be here, which is what I have been doing already anyway. Since I’ll be staying home and they will be who knows were there isn’t really anyone left to use the house.”

He looked over to see how I was taking it and I was biting my lip trying to hold back the pain. “I get that you guys are done here. That’s okay…I just can’t believe they didn’t say goodbye in person. I thought I had one more summer with them so this is all so sudden.” I whispered and he put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“They still might come and say goodbye. They were talking about coming for the last week to see you. They hadn’t made their mind up yet but I can’t imagine them not coming. You are almost as much their son as I am. They really do love you.”

A sad smile pulled up on my face. It wasn’t anything near what I wanted, but it meant something to me that they cared enough to come and see me to say goodbye.

“I really hope they come.” I muttered and he gripped my shoulder tighter in a way of comfort.

“My moms’ regrets this choice because of you. You have been a part of our lives for a long long time and we don’t want to cut our connection with your family, but they thought it over and this is really what they wanted.”

“I get it.” I said softly. “It’s been a long time, you have to get bored of this place and the people here sooner or later.”

Lucas’s face twisted into something bitter looking, possibly from what I had said or some thoughts of his own. “That’s not it and you know it.”

“Well no matter the reason there isn’t much to do about that. You guys made a decision and I respect that, I’m sure my parents do too.” When my lips stopped moving we fell into silence. We both knew where this conversation had to go next but neither of us wanted to be the one to start it. There was too much pain and emotions that spanned over five years. How could we even begin to approach it?