Benny lays in his bed that night and wonders why it’s so impossible to feel happiness. He doesn’t think others have this problem or more aptly he doesn’t think that others have such a hard time obtaining happiness.

The only times Benny ever feels close to happiness is when he’s with Laurel and Whit or even just one of them or when he’s smoking pot. But the loves of his life had forbade him from smoking and they also had gone home hours ago so Benny just lays in his bed being miserable, stewing in his own depression. He thinks about crying or cutting himself, but doesn’t do either because neither really helps him. The latter had a proven track record of upsetting Laurel and Whit to the point of Laurel screaming at him and Whit crying. Having to witness both had made his depression worse and made him feel like even more of a failure.

Benny feels like his sole purpose in life is to make the only people in the world who love him feel happiness. This often meant forfeiting his own, but only in the short run he reasons. Although this ‘short’ run had lasted for over three years and would continue to last until Whit turns 18. But what’s three more years in comparison to a lifetime of happiness. A life where Laurel was no longer confined by her father, where Whit no longer had to suffer the endless beatings from bullies and the disappointment of his parents, and where Benny no longer had to anxiously worry over the both of them, and the three of them could live together happily ever after.

Benny though worries that he’s so used to being depressed and anxious that even after his two loves have found happiness he won’t know how to be happy with them. Can anxiety be turned off like a switch? Can depression be packed away and left behind? Is it possible to feel real happiness?