In life, there are some things that are not meant to be shared with the public. And especially not with your sisters.
Porn, for example.
No one should ever have to go through the horror of their sisters finding their apparently not-so-private porn stash. What can I say, I’m old school! Or maybe it’s because everyone in this damn household knows the password to my laptop no matter how much I change it!
My sisters especially do not know nor understand the word privacy. In their eyes, what's mine is theirs and what's theirs is theirs and only theirs. Where's the logic in that? What's the saying? Sharing is caring. Oh, the life of being the youngest of five siblings, four of which are girls.
"What is the appeal of these women? How do her tits stay in that bra? That is not gravitationally possible! Guys jack off to shit like this?"
I pretend not to hear Robin, my sister, drone on about the unrealistic body proportions.
"Nice to hear you asking all the right questions," comes Alexandria's voice, who doesn't try to hide her amusement.
"I have so many questions." The saddest part of hearing their conversation is how serious they sound. Like talk of porn and a man's private life is of the utmost importance or is a topic that should be openly discussed by said man's sisters. "In porn, are guys not bothered that there's a penis being shown or does that help turn them on? Cause, I swear, they bitch about dicks being too close in locker rooms and shit all the time but in porn it’s apparently ok?" Silence follows her question, a silence that sends a shiver down my spine because I know exactly what's to come...
Pounding against the wall follows Robin's voice. "Noah, hey, hey Noah!"
Yes, her room is next to mine. Yes, it bugs the hell out of me. Like I said, no privacy.
She shouts my name continuously until I finally snap, “What?!"
"Would you still be turned on if there was no guy in porn? Like, if the girl was getting off using her hand or a vegetable or something would that still get you all hot and bothered?"
I proceed to slam my face into my desk, an action that doesn't go unnoticed since my sisters erupt with more laughter. How I wish to be an only child...
The conversation continues on. Harriet points out that many men enjoy lesbian porn so men must not necessarily care if another man is present during the filming so long as there is a naked woman for them to oogle at. Why are they speaking so seriously about it anyways? How am I the pervert when they not only came into my room to look through my porn, but are also now having a serious conversation about porn? Fucking freaks.
And why go through your brother's belongings in search of porn mags anyways! I came home to find them rummaging through my possessions in a desperate search for anything to entertain themselves. They happened to find the porn and are now thoroughly enjoying humiliating me, as they always do.
Living in a house with six people makes it rather difficult to ever have any alone time. Mom and dad may work until late and Harriet has classes most of the time but she spends her free time at home. Robin and Riley are also college students but unlike Harriet, who is a medical student, they have less taxing majors that means they are at home more often than not. I am a senior in high school who spends a majority of my time at school and when I do arrive home someone is usually here. That means no, as Robin and Riley put it, hanky panky for me.
Robin and Riley are the spontaneous and rambunctious twins who are a year older than me. They have always teased me to no end, especially when I was younger and too shy to fight back. It was usually the two of them that decided to use me to play "dress up." I'd wind up in a dress, my hair up in a ponytail and make up on before either of our parents got home. It was hell!
Alexandria who is six years older than me usually didn't torment me as much as Robin and Riley though she certainly never attempted to stop it. Instead she'd watch on in amusement and occasionally comment on how "cute" I looked. Alexandria, who liked her name and didn't have a nickname, was the quietest out of the siblings but never missed an opportunity to mess with any of us. She works as a chef at some fancy restaurant about four hours away and lives with her high school sweet heart, Damien.
Harriet, the oldest out of all of us who is 7 years older than me, is the responsible one. Harriet has always been the one to save me from Robin and Riley's grasps. She’s the one who asks Alexandria to tone down her insults. She’s the mature and responsible one who probably has it worse than me. Though she has three younger sisters to gossip with, that also means she has three younger sisters to keep out of trouble along with a younger brother. She never complains about it and it’s probably why we all so easily listen to her. It’s hard not to respect someone who takes on responsibilities with such ease.
I love all my sisters, but man, do they get on my nerves
"Why did you have another child?" I groan after entering the kitchen since I have grown tired of listening to those crazy siblings of mine upstairs. I slide into a seat at said table and rest my head on the cool top in hopes to help my oncoming headache. Seconds later a hand runs through my hair that belongs to my mother.
"What's wrong? Are the girls teasing you again?" Mom laughs and sits a freshly made bun before me. I moan and happily eat the bun that was slathered in butter. It is heaven on my tongue.
I grumble, choosing not to say why. I love mom but I have no desire to tell her about my alone time with my hand. "When aren't they teasing me?"
"They just love their baby brother too much. You'd miss it if they didn't." Mom says over her shoulder. Her tongue is sticking out the side of her mouth in concentration. I shake my head at her seemingly unwavering concentration. Mom doesn't always have time to cook but we all appreciate it when she does. My mom's cooking is to die for.
She finishes only seconds before dad arrives home. Soon the dining room is crowded with the whole family. Dad is at the head of the table, listening in on what Alexandria has to say about her work. Mom is cooing about some new boy in Harriet's life, who is blushing furiously while insisting he is nothing more than a friend. Robin and Riley are poking fun at anyone who is open for a good teasing while I'm wondering how so much estrogen can be in a single room without exploding.
"What about you Noah?" Harriet suddenly asks, breaking me from my thoughts of how estrogen is a truly terrifying chemical.
"Huh? What about me?" I ask, blinking rapidly in confusion. I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying so I have no idea what she's asking about.
Alexandria rolls her eyes at me but soon begins to giggle when Riley speaks, "His head must still be in the gutter."
I kick Riley beneath the table who grunts and returns the kick and that makes Robin kick me too along with Alexandria. I gape at the three of them who dare gang up on me and look to my parents who are laughing at my pain.
Harriet sighs, "I was asking how you felt about school coming up. You're going to be a senior in a week. Are you excited?"
"I'll be more excited when I graduate and get the hell out of here."
"Language!" Mom gasps.
"Like leaving will help you get a girl," says Robins.
"Seriously, even college women aren't that desperate," Riley follows.
"See? Shit like that is why I want to leave."
"Noah!" Mom says and peeks over Harriet to look at me. "Don't be so eager to leave home. There are a lot of responsibilities in the real world."
"I'm sure Noah can handle himself. He's survived this long with four crazy sisters. The real world will feel like child's play," dad says, sending me a wink and a thumbs. I grin appreciatively at him. Dad understands, after all he has four daughters and that's as crazy if not more crazy than them being sisters. Why he chose to continue having children is beyond me.