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Riddle Me This

A Way with Women

A Way with Women

Oct 13, 2017

Katie sits beside me and leans in for a quick kiss that has me grinning from ear to ear before she greets me, "Hey, Noah."

"H-Hey." Smooth, Noah. Girls dig stutters.

Gavin is biting his lip in an attempt to not laugh. Junior, on the other hand, openly chuckles. I kick him beneath the desk but I know that won't stop him from laughing at any other screw ups I'll do.

Katie begins chattering away about this party her friend is having this weekend. Beside me, I hear Junior and Gavin going on about how they've been forgotten. Junior is mentioning something about divorcing me and Gavin is faking tears about his parents breaking up. I would tell them to fuck off, but Katie is still eagerly speaking to me and I don't want to interrupt her. Besides it's better to talk to her than those two assholes.

"Would you guys like to tag along?" Katie asks, peeking from me to the two behind me. Gavin and Junior stop their conversation of my 'cheating ways' to look at Katie who is smiling at the both of them.

"When do I ever miss a chance to party?" Gavin replies, not even having to give the idea a thought. Katie shakes her head then looks to Junior who simply shrugs and mumbles an, “I'll think about it.” The last to answer is me, as if I have a real choice here. My girlfriend wants to go to a party so isn't it obvious that I have to go even if I don't really want to?

Parties aren't really my thing though. I am not good in social gatherings. The whole getting drunk thing has never been on my to-do list. I don't like the feeling of a hangover or the inability to control myself when intoxicated. The taste the next morning that seems to linger in your mouth isn't something I look forward to either. I don’t get why it’s such a cool thing to do either or why so many people are into it but…

I am terrible under pressure. "Of course I'll go."

"Great! I'll text you the details later, ok?" She happily pats my arm and moments later our teacher walks in.

I'm regretting my decision seconds after I make it.

"Why were we all invited?" Junior asks after class as the three of us, very slowly, make our way to the next. Gavin is winking flirtatiously at a giggling group of girls walking by while I’m wondering how in the hell he can be so confident all the damn time.

"I don't want to go to some stupid party full of idiots. Add alcohol into the mix and it's a disaster dying to happen,” Junior says with a heavy sigh, as if he’s tired, which he always is so it’s not that surprising.

"Come on," Gavin sighs, looking between the two of us like we are the biggest buzz kills to ever walk the earth. Why is he looking at me like that? I agreed to go! "I know you two aren't exactly into the party life-"

"It stinks of vomit," Junior grunts.

"-But this is Noah's chance!" Pretty boy jabs his finger between my eyes making me go cross-eyed for a moment.

I rub at where he stabbed me with his finger. Why did he stab me? Stab Junior, he's the one who doesn't want to go!

"Chance?" I ask. Chance for what?

"You know, to lose your virginity," Gavin replies like it's obvious.

"What! No way. We just started dating!" I exclaim, waving my arms wildly yet again.

"See? This is what happens when there's too many women in the house hold," Junior says, pointing to my flushing face.

I mean...well maybe that's true. I remember Riley and Robin threatening to chop off my favorite toy should I ever mistreat a woman. Sure, they actually wouldn't do that but I know I'd be in a world full of hurt if I did such a thing. Having four sisters is hard ok!

"Fine, don't do the good stuff," Gavin says with a wave of his hand. "You don't have to sleep with her but at least make a move on her. Get past second base for the love of god!" Gavin pats me roughly against the back, nearly sending me toppling over.

I rub my shoulder and grumble some form of agreement though I have no idea what to do. I don't want us to get together while she's drunk. I know she's going to drink. I want it to be romantic, is that wrong? I like romantic shit, but if I said that the guys would have a hoot. Besides, I have never kept a girlfriend for very long, a few months at the most. They always break up with me saying things like 'you don't really care,' or 'you've never actually liked me.' What's up with that? How do they know? Can they read my mind or something because why would I date them if I didn't like them? You'd think having four older sisters I'd have a way with women but, honestly, I suck.

"Count me out," Junior says making both Gavin and I shout at him. "No way, dudes. I don't need to go to a party to get laid. I can do it on my own, so, have fun."

"You have to come!" I exclaim, slamming my so-called best friend in the back. He grunts, but doesn't change his mind.

No matter what I say the boy won't change his mind, continuously claiming that it won't be any fun and there's no point in going. Why leave the house when there's beer there and he doesn't have to put up with all the idiots, is the argument he used that I can't even really argue with. He has no reason to go so I give up. At least Gavin is coming along. He'll back me up, right?

Twoony
Twoony

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flakkofahrenheit
flakkofahrenheit

Top comment

Gavin is like woke about freedom of sexual expression, but also not woke cuz he doesnt realize part of that expression is the freedom to not participate. I'm glad that Noah sticks to his guns with his friends

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Riddle - a question or statement intentionally phrased so as to require ingenuity in ascertaining its answer or meaning, typically presented as a game.

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A Way with Women

A Way with Women

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