dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin

it can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
Somebody once told me this, and that stuck.
It was important and to this day,
It’s one of the only things I remember.
Love is only a chemical reaction.

Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin, the three happy chemicals.
These chemicals control our brains,
Feed us life, give us something to hold onto.
These are the three chemicals that are used to tell you when to laugh
And when to cry,

When to take that step forward,
And when to take a step back.
They tell us when to dance
They tell us when to sing
They give us a reason.
But, why?

Why does my body do this?
Why do my knees wobble and my head spins?
Why do I shake and stutter and think,
“Please don’t see me.”

Why do I feel like crying,
Or shouting,
Or screaming at you.
Why do I feel like ants are eating at my stomach,
Turning my head into sawdust?

These chemicals, these three simple reactions
They spin me in circles and then tell me to run
They cause me to fall ill,
My face turning red and my breaths going short

Why?
What do these chemicals have against me?
What are these, these feelings?
Why do I like you so much?
How do you do this to me?

But then I remember.
It’s not you, it’s me.
They’re my chemical reactions,
The reactions that give me life
Make me happy.

These are the chemicals that control me
That move me, my thoughts, my ideas
These chemicals, they are me.
Dopamine, can be manufactured in a lab.
Serotonin, can be made in a lab.
Oxytocin, can be produced and created in a lab.

But if I overdose
If I take too much of these chemicals,
Things… Happen.
Too many chemicals buzzing my brain,
Too many chemicals filling my lungs,
Turning my breaths to putty,
And my thoughts to smoke,

Everything is around me, everything looking.
You’re looking! You’re here, telling me
You’re watching me, my every move
You’re driving me insane!
I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t think!
You! It’s you!

You make me go sick with love,
My face heating up and then boiling down in embarrassment.
You’re the one who makes my knees shake,
My brain going numb and my hands going cold.

It was always you,
Hitting my sides and tugging my braids.
Your gorgeous brown eyes and dark hair,
The way you laughed and smiled

The way you helped out a friend
Or tutored me in math
You were the one who could change all my reactions,
All my chemicals balancing to focus on you.
They loved you.
But then I remembered,

Love is only a chemical reaction.