Well, shoot.
There it is, my biggest enemy,
He’s my nemesis, my opposite
He’s the itch I have all day.

He’s on my Tumblr dash
I have Pinterest boards about him
I own merch and write fanfiction
His name is Obsession.

He is the small tick in the back of my head in class,
He is the list of headcanons that I make about a ship in my fandom
He is the reason I’m failing all my classes!
But I love him.

He is red and blue, rivals to friends, perhaps more.
He is children of Gods, all fighting some horrible greater power
He is magic and houses and the fact that Slytherpuff is the ultimate hybrid house
He is the same character that I drool over when looking at fanart.

He is the person in any book that gets shipped with all other characters shamelessly,
He is the way the plot moves and speaks and tells me some underlying moral
He is my aesthetic
He is pomegranates and the colour maroon.

He is the goddess Persephone, queen of Hell and Hades, god of the dead.
He is my interest in death and my fascination with how easily death can grasp something you love.
He is the fact that not all of my friends will die of old age
He is the fact that I am an individual with thoughts and opinions

He is the fact that even as a Mormon, I make mistakes and am not perfect.
He is each gay ship that I ship and every single second I spend reading fluff
He is the amount of hours I spend watching Netflix, day in and out
He is the reason I am an insomniac and I haven’t slept in days, because S. 3 of my favourite show is out
He is all of my favourite bands and music and all the liked videos on my YouTube account

He is my love of art and my love of rebellion and vandalism.
He is the hours of gameplay on my PS4, loud guns blazing and curses sprouting from my lips
He is all the jumpscares in the horror movies I watch.
He is the sleeves of tattoos on my arms, covering me up and down in ink.

He is the tree line tattoo I want on my forearm or the skull on my ribs,
He is the colour in my eyes, my heterochromia disorder.
He is the future apartment I want to share with my best friend
He is the arguments we’ll have about whether Star Wars is cool or not.

He is my list of plans to have pizza at every social event in my life.
He is the stupid jokes I laugh at or the innuendos I can’t help but make.
He is two British youtubers who love to laugh and game together, who have millions of subscribers
He is Phan, oh my goodness.

He is giant space lions piloted by four teens and a severely depressed and PTSD affected 24 year old
He is a Blond Superman who may or may not be Husband/Brother/Dad/Son (i haven’t decided yet)
He is a ship that has the ship name that means ‘Sun Angel’
He is a huge Chamber of Secrets that isn’t so secret anymore.

He is also my bad days.
He is the horrible disease that plagues my brain called Anxiety.
He is the small voice that tells me that my opinion is wrong, especially when it’s unpopular
He is the thought of me leaving to a new city to simply save other people’s troubles on me

He is the thorn on the rose, sharp and vivid
He is the night spent at a lone bar, drinking Vodka to forget.
He is the smoke that bends from a cigarette and invades a passerby’s nose
He is the addicting scent of cleaning supplies and sharpies

He is the vague feeling in my bones when I am depressed
He is the twisting stomach-ache when I’m reading something that triggers
me
He is the panic in my throat when I am shouted at, chastised, and shot down.
He is the sadness in my bones and the reason that I am deaf in the hallway.

But, of course, he’s still mine.
He’s my obsessions, he’s the one controlling my brain.
Whether I’m thinking of a fandom that is too Wild for Tumblr (Supernatural)
Or I’m thinking of a literal god that’s name starts with P and ends with ‘-ercy Jackson’

Maybe I’m crying over the thought that Keith and Lance merely looked at each other
Or the angst fanfic bookmarked on my computer that I know will break me down.
He is the same song that I’ve kept on repeat for days
He is the boy in my PE class that I can’t help but like because he’s a dork.

He is my math class, the one class I passed with an A this quarter
He is the soft sounds of guitars or pianos and the reason that I love music
He is my ironic dabbing in the hallways (PS, please stop me)
My obsession, this thing. He has controlled me.

He has invaded my life and taken over my thoughts and actions.
But, he has also provided me with a reason to live
It doesn’t sound like much, especially with me at the wheel, telling you this.
I mean, you’re all much too sophisticated for my random blurb of what I like
But, it’s here. It’s words on a page that mean something to me.

It’s my obsession.