Cuddling in the morning has turned out to be my new favorite activity. As I think about it, it seems like I never really hated touching other people, but I know that something has changed inside of me. Some part of me is different, I just can't place which part. Anthony is tossing and turning against my back, smashing first his face into my back and then his shoulder before ending with his back against mine. There's been more of a chill in the air as November rolls over us. And to think that it has been just over a year since I've moved to this town. I haven't laid eyes on anyone from my past in so long that I've almost forgotten everyone, almost. Kadence haunts me each day. He shows up occasionally, rearing his beautiful and wild face behind a cool and calm gaze. He's not made a move, only crossed me on rare occasion to let me know he's still watching. It feels like I'm a cow in a pen being looked upon hungrily by humans waiting for the oh so opportune time to devour me. 

I can feel Anthony settling back against my back, his warm breath pressing between my shoulder blades as he hugs me tighter, mumbling quietly. I turn around in his arms to find him fast asleep. It never occurred to me that his face had so many soft lines, curling around his mouth in a manner consistent with happiness. The tip of my finger draws a line across his chin and around his jaw, feeling along behind his ear before I gently grab the outside of his earlobe, rubbing heat back into the chilly extremities before pulling the blanket up. As I do I catch a glimpse of the scars along his abdomen, three mysterious scars at odd angles decorate his abdomen in no particular pattern. I've never asked him about anything with his family or why he has these scars. I don't feel as if it is terribly important to me, but I am also curious. As I watch over his face, his cheeks lift and he smiles, "So how often are ya staring at me all romantic like when I ain't lookin'?"

I don't answer back as his eyes come open, sending a short whiff of anxiety through me after being caught. "How long have you been awake?"

The chuckles that he gives away to me rings throughout the empty hallway, making my heart jump. "Just long enough to know you like my ears."

The way he bites his bottom lip causes a rolling fire to build in my stomach, the soft and sleepy look of his face turning more malicious as he runs his hand around my side and pulls my hips towards him. In an awkward moment of fumbling, I end up tumbling off of the edge of the bed, laughing nervously as I mumble, "I'll start breakfast," and shuffling out of the room as fast as I can without trying to raise suspicion. When I make it into the kitchen, I'm close to dropping everything on the floor, actually breaking one egg before I finally get myself together. There's never been a better time for me to let him take me away from reality than right then. Why do I keep doing this? Why can't I just let him do it? What is so different now? 

Closing my eyes, I put my hands over my face. Trying to calm myself, I take slow and steady breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. The more that I try to convince myself that I'm okay, the less that I feel like I believe it. There's a warmth behind my back as arms wrap around my waist, Anthony's chin resting on my shoulder as he shifts from one foot to the next, swaying me back and forth.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. Don't worry." The soft whisper seems to sink into my heart and calm the flutter of worry. "I'm sorry. I just can't. I want to try, but I can't."

"I'll wait forever 'til nevers just a word, Dante. I won't do anything that you don't want me to do. All you have to do is tell me to stop." The longer we stand there and rock, the sleepier that I feel, until the eggs in the pan are far past cooked. Anthony walks me into the living room and sits me on the couch with my blankets, helping me get cozy before leaving for the kitchen. It's been so long since anything has happened. I just want to be happy. I just want to be normal. 

After Anthony brings me breakfast, I stretch and get ready for the day. Donning my work clothes, I head to the car with the mental note to talk to Mike again about payments for the car. He hasn't taken not one payment from me, insisting the car is a gift. He's more stubborn than I could ever imagine, but he's quite like family. As I pull into the parking lot, I notice the sign on the front door says the special today is chili and I sigh. We will never get rid of all of the chili that he has probably made, which means that it will end up being dinner tonight. As I pull out my phone to send a text to Anthony to tell him of his luck, a chill runs behind me and I spin around. I can't shake the jumpy feelings I've had since Kade showed up here. It feels like he's always here. Seeing no one, I hop into the store to find Mike flipping ketchup and mustard bottles back and forth to check their levels and filling the sugar dishes. This can only mean one thing. "Ahhh, Dante my boy, Rachel won't be in today. She's sick with the flu. It's just going to be you and me out here. Buck is in the kitchen, but get ready to work hard. Half of the town lost power last night. Lots of people will be in soon for lunch."

My shift is a nightmare, but it is a welcome burst of business that keeps me occupied. There's hardly a moment to breathe as the last person to come in relieves me of my position and I collapse in the back on a chair next to Mike. Nothing is said as we exchange high fives, champions of this horrendous shift with nothing to show from it except sweat and a paycheck. The more I work here, the more demanding my days become. I grab my things and head for the back door, getting ready to leave. The cold air hits my face and feels dry against my skin, but I enjoy the rosy color it brings to my cheeks. I feel alive in the cold. I twirl to my car, the cold soothing my burning arms. Falling into the driver's seat, I lock the doors, leaning back into the chilly seat and closing my eyes. I only meant to rest for a moment, but I find myself drifting to sleep.

---

Anthony

Waiting for Dante to come home is probably the most impossible thing in the world. The time passes so slowly and it makes me impatient. I miss him and it makes me worry about him when he's outta my sight. I need to know he's alive. It's almost the end of his shift and I'm waiting on the porch. It shouldn't be long now. Twenty minutes pass by and I send him a text. 

A: Hey, you off work?

With time ticking by, the delivered message shows, but no read receipt. It's an hour past his shift and I'm only getting more nervous as I've sent him two more texts and called his phone with no answer. I'm pacing, wearing a line into the porch as I pull my coveralls up my shoulders and slip on my boots. I'm already calling Mike and hoping he can give me an idea. As the store phone rings, I set out jogging. The moment Mike tells me he's not around, I break into a run. Every few minutes I'm calling to see if he's come back in. The only hope I have is that he's alive. He has to be alive. I can't lose anyone else. 

By the time I make it to the store, my hands are numb and the wind is blowing hard. It's never this cold so early. I bust through the front to a lobby of customers as everyone greets me in unison. Under different circumstances, I'd probably be talking all around the room, but my eyes are set on Mike. "Have you seen him?"

"Boy you just called me three seconds ago. I tried to look, but I'm short handed. I think I saw his car outside. Have some coffee."

The coffee makes my hands feel warm again, but I don't drink it. I can't think about it. All I know is that he has to be okay. Dante has to be alive.

---

Dante

When I open my eyes, night has come and Mike is smacking my window. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, rolling down the window. My teeth chatter as I turn on the car, waiting for the heat to be ready. "Boy, what are you doing out here in this weather? You're gonna be sick. Anthony has been calling the store like crazy looking to make sure you're okay. He ran all the way here, he's inside with coffee."

I want to apologize, but I'm freezing and I can't stop my teeth from clicking against each other enough to get any words out. 

Before I can get the car door open, I hear the back door of the diner open, the heat from the kitchen escaping in a plume of steam as Anthony comes running over, flinging the door open. It hurts to move as the cold numbs my limbs and my fingertips and toes ache. I don't remember the weather saying it would get so cold, but as I try to lift my foot, pain shoots up my knee and I wince. Anthony picks me up like I'm nothing, carrying me inside as Mike locks the car behind us, tossing the keys in my jacket pocket as he grabs the door. Inside, Anthony starts pulling his outer layers off, already warm on the inside as he wraps me up, sitting me by one of the ovens in an attempt to help, but I find myself shaking no less. He stands beside my chair, his arms around my shoulders letting me push my face into the warmth of his chest. I never want to go outside again. 

I can slowly begin to feel myself thawing as my nose begins to run. Guilt is weighing me down as I feel horrible for making him worry. I was just so exhausted. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep. I can't even believe that I stayed asleep. I try to keep from messing up his sweater as he pulls my head back and grabs a tissue, gently wiping my nose as I apologize. Crying wasn't my plan, but the hot tears fell anyways leaving lines of heat on my chilled face. Mike brought me coffee that warmed my chest and my belly as Anthony set to work on rubbing my legs and feet. My feet were still the coldest as they felt numb the most and as he pulled my socks away and the heat from the oven hit them directly, it felt like I was being burned. 

The more I warmed up, the less worried Anthony appeared and even as I apologized again he merely shook his head and hugged me close, humming as he ruffled my hair. He went outside for a short moment to start the car and heat it up as I pulled my knees into my chest and disappeared inside of his coveralls. When I heard him come back, I stayed inside of my little shell, watching his sweater come closer to the zipper of his jacket as he hugged me again. "Please don't go scarin' me like that again. You're gonna give me a heart attack." I didn't say anymore, just curled up even tighter as I waited to leave.

When the car had ample time to heat up, Anthony pulled my shoes from by the oven, putting them on my feet as I wiggled my toes in the toasty confined space. I stood up and pulled the jacket down my shoulders, handing it back to him and making him put it on as I hugged the long sleeves of his fleece lined coveralls and headed for the door, the long legs of the bottoms bunched around my ankles. The ride home was short and he whipped into the driveway, quickly ushering me into the house as he started a fire in the fireplace. He fashioned a small pallet at the front of the fireplace, pulling me down beside him as he rolled a stack of blankets around us as if he could make sure I were never cold again. Although I had slept so much recently, it felt like I could never get enough as I curled up in front of him, offering my back for him. Expecting him to take his usual spot turned out to be a mistake as he turned me to face him, putting his forehead against mine as I watched the shine in his eyes from tears trapped in the edges of his softening lids. "I can't lose you, Dante. I just can't." I felt his lips at the top of my head as he slowly pulled me in close. It's something new to me as he pulls me tighter in an attempt to hide the tears streaming from his eyes, but I can still feel it in the slight waver of his body. I won't ask questions. I don't want to ask questions. I just want to sleep. As sleep takes over my head and my thoughts turn to fog, all I can think about is the fire crackling behind us and finally feeling warm again.