[Entry log #3425]
Something went astray. I was both terrible and amazing at the same time.
After a month of no abnormal occurrences, I put my efforts back into studying the current condition of Subject #1 - that by now was completely mobile and fluent - whenever Valen an I weren't spending some time together.
Just a couple of hours ago, in the middle of the night, he came to me after I left the isolated room.
He didn't ask, as I have told him not to, and to not get anywhere near that room. All he said was that he had a bad dream and that he was scared.
I crouched next to him to calm him down, reminding that it was all just a dream and that he's safe...and then I felt it.
He was warm; his body felt softer than I remembered; when I hugged him close and he did the same, I felt his pulse and fast, terrified breathes.
I told him that all I did was making sure he's not sick, when in reality I was focusing all of my will and spirit into sounding and appearing as calm as possible, to not alarm the boy even further.
It wasn't an easy facade to keep, and once I left his room after tucking him back in my heart began beating so fast in my chest that I quickly got dizzy and nauseous, stumbling to the nearest chair to get my thoughts together before I will collapse.
How was this possible?
When I pictured the old Pinocchio tale a few months back, I could have never imagined that I will actually be in that same situation.
But...it's nothing but a story. A children tale, with magic fairies, talking animals and magic.
There's no such thing as 'magic'. So how was I just holding a child that felt like flesh and blood?
It was puzzling and terrifying, but also fascinating at the same time. I could feel my curiosity slowly overcoming my initial panic, as it became clear what immense potential it held.
While what exactly happened remains to be solved, I decided that as long as Valen is not collapsing or showing any signs of deterioration, I will let it pass.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
It just means that...my little boy is back.
[Entry log #3427]
I kept expressing my concern to Valen's health as an excuse to scan him using Memorium.
The seemingly organic body just became a fact to me, and I was hoping to find the cause through neural mapping.
Findings were inconclusive at first, as the mapping software couldn't seem to pinpoint and identify information clutters and just spat out an incoherent report.
Seeing that, I went around at took the memory files I had wrote for Valen, hoping the program will identify and locate them within Valen's neural network, allowing me to get an idea how the clutters have dispersed.
It had me taking some resources from the research around Subject #1, who became my second, maybe third priority in an instant.
[Entry log #3430]
After a few days of research and several mapping attempts, during which Valen remained very cooperative, I gained some interesting results.
His memories cluttered like a planetary or galactic system in the virtual space that served as his brain, with the core memories serving as the center of the system, with different memory clutters revolving around it rather then staying in the same area.
That explains why Memorium couldn't zero in on his memories, only finding bits and pieces at random.
As fascinating as it was, a situation like this could prove dire in an event where I'll be forced to tamper with his memories again. It's not something I hope to do, but it's best be prepared when the need arises.
Some more testing had to be done.
[Entry log #3432]
Inspired by Valen's toys, I started creating artificial bodies housing a neural storage with a much smaller capacity, limited to basic reaction to outside threats and stimuli.
Thinking of plants like the Venus Flytrap and of the simple jellyfish, I made the bodies out of soft material and gave them only a mouth and the ability to sense their surroundings using sound and touch.
As I posed them against threats, in the form of loud noises and tapping their head, they reacted like the Flytrap, contracting when startled by a touch or sounds.
If the threat persisted, they tried to attack back, headbutting or whipping in the direction of said threat.
Once I gave them receptors that enabled the basic processing of light around them, their reactions became a lot more calculated, making them hide instead of attacking back from time to time.
Sadly, I couldn't share these amazing advancements with anyone, not even Valen.
Especially not Valen.
I couldn't risk him finding out what he really is.
[Entry log #3435]
Valen's dreams are resurfacing again, and he started to ask unwanted questions.
Why aren't we going back home?
Why is he not going to school?
Why won't I let him play outside with the other kids?
What am I doing all day when we're not playing together?
Why can't he go into that locked room?
Desperate to sound reasonable while still hiding the truth from him, I did my best making a good cover up in hopes that it'll satisfy him.
But something still seemed to be bothering him.
And then, yesterday, he ask me this...
Why do I look so old?
I brushed it off and told him he's imagining that, but this time he wouldn't let go.
After all, he compared me to whatever photos we were in together, and the newest one was still from about a year prior to his death.
He wouldn't remember the wrinkles; the graying hair; my glasses...
He insisted that I'll tell him, and I was so worried that he'd learn the truth that I got mad at his persistent curiosity, sending him to his room while sticking to my own insisting that he is imagining.
Valen protested at first, but eventually did as I said and went to his room, shutting himself in.
That offered but a temporary solution to the problem, maybe even to the long run, assuming he'll forget about these questions.
[Entry log #3435]
As the day came to an end, I had the hunch that it might have been a bad idea to leave him alone to his thoughts for so long.
I was trying to come up with something that will appease his curiosity, and hopefully explain myself and apologize for that outburst.
Maybe even try and slightly alter his memories.
For his own good...
Comments (0)
See all