Benny’s anxiety ranges from being reasonable to unreasonable and as a way to cope with it he often tries to distinguish the moments that give him anxiety between the two of them. Standing outside of Whit’s house waiting for the door to open he can’t quite tell if these feelings are reasonable or unreasonable. Despite the winter weather Benny has sweat beading at the top of his head, his heart feels unusually fast, and there’s a dark pit in his stomach making him feel awkward and out of place. The only thing that gives him any sort of security are his black sunglasses. Black and blocky they make him feel like there is a wall between himself and the world around him. They also severely hinder his vision in the darkness which is currently approaching fast.

Benny would be much happier in the summer, he prefers the warm weather and sunshine not this cold, no snow, bitter winter weather. No one looks at him strange for wearing his sunglasses then, not as much anyway, and during the summer he would have Laurel and Whit to himself. They would hangout all day on his days off by the lake and not worry about people or money or anything and they could just have fun.

Benny is startled out of his thoughts when Whit’s father opens the door. There’s a moment of surprise on both their faces and both wonder what they should be doing in the given situation.

“Uh, Benny, right? How are you doing?”

“Um, fine sir, I just came to check on Whit. He hasn’t been answering his phone.”

Benny’s anxiety racks up from a moderate 4 to a 9. He can’t even remember the last time he talked to Whit’s dad. He feels like he’s been thrown into unchartered waters.

“I think he’s sleeping. Martha took his phone away as punishment.”

“Okay, I-I just wanted to like talk to him to make sure he’s okay. Laurel called me earlier because he fainted at like an aquarium?”

“Right, the doctor’s said it was just because of dehydration. It happens sometimes in the cold you don’t feel as thirsty and so you don’t drink as much water and so you get sick. That’s all it was…”

“…So c-can I like talk to Whit or not?” Benny hopes his voice doesn’t sound as shaky as he feels or at the very least it might be chalked up to the cold.

Whit’s father stares at him for a second before finally giving in, “Yeah, sure, I’ll go get him.”

Benny lets out a shuttering breath and desperately tries to get his heart under control once Whit’s father disappears back into the house.

A minute passes before he can hear Whit’s voice hollering inside the house.

“And you can go fuck yourself!”

Benny inhales sharply as the door is yanked open again to reveal an angry Whit pulling a hoodie over his head and both his parents trailing behind him.

“Whit, you are not leaving this household!” His mother barks at him in a commanding voice.

“Yes, I am!” Whit yanks Benny’s arm and pulls him off the porch and down the drive.

“Whit!” Benny can hear his mother call after him, but Whit doesn’t even bother looking back.

“Jesus fucking Christ I’m real goddamn sick of that woman. She took my phone away.” Whit grumbles beside him.

“W-where are we going?” Benny had never meant to actually take Whit out, he just wanted to check in on him.

Whit looks up at him, “Are you having a panic attack?”

“N-no, no,” Benny shakes his head, “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not and we’re going to the park.” He locks their arms together and twines his fingers through Benny’s. “Sorry, I’m really mad right now.” Whit apologizes.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

Whit stares up at Benny and even through his thick black sunglasses Benny can feel Whit’s eyes penetrate through him. “Yes I do.”

Benny’s breath billows out in front of him in a soft sigh, with a single look like that from Whit his heart can finally settle back down.

“So how are you feeling?”

“100% still sick.”

“Whit!” Benny admonishes, but Whit just laughs him off.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m getting better even as we speak.”

“You should be in bed if you’re still sick.”

“No, that won’t help me.”

“What are you, a doctor now?”

Whit smiles, “Nope, I’m a flower.” He leans his head against Benny’s arm.

“A flower? …That sounds nice.” Benny imagines never having to think or feel anything, being able to absorb the sunlight, the quiet…

Whit looks up at him, “You want to be one too?”

“If you’re gonna be a flower than I wanna be one too.”

Whit grins, “Okay, and Laurel too. We can’t leave her out.”

“Right.”