The weather was chillier by the time it was late October. Dai-Tai had been practicing gun-shooting , doing tiring workouts in the morning, and learning basic gymnastic and parkour stunts. Her aiming skills drastically improved since the last month; she could shoot bottles and cans in seven out of thirteen rounds. When she was not training, she would clean her gun or go to Itzal's room which was usually unlocked when he was there. The girl would explore his bookshelf while the man was busy doing work on his desk.
One day while Dai-Tai was browsing the bookshelf, she asked Itzal, "Am I ever going back to school?" It was not that she wanted to, but she was just curious. It was usually expected that children her age go to school.
Itzal's pen stopped writing, and he gazed at the girl. "No. All you need to know is basic math and reading skills which I'll teach you during the winter."
Another question that had been curiously floating in her head for the past days was brought up. "Why do I always go through the training?"
Itzal was not surprised by her question. He knew that someday the girl would question him why he was teaching her these things. "The first time I saw you in Xun's building, I knew you have potential," the man replied. "Tell me, what did your ma expect your future to be?"
Dai-Tai's hand stopped on top of a world atlas. Her previous grief had been distracted from the training that she hadn't been thinking about her mother. It was less painful thinking about her mother now, but it made the girl feel guilty. If her mother was watching her, would she be upset that her daughter was enjoying life without her? Dai-Tai pushed the new thoughts aside and answered Itzal. "Ma wanted me to do good in school and go to college…" Dai-Tai made a disgusted face. "And she wanted me to find a good husband and get married, so he can take care of me."
Itzal chuckled. "I figured. That's what your name means."
The girl raised her eyebrows. "That's what my name… means?"
"'Dai-Tai' means that your ma hopes that a boy would find you someday."
The realization made Dai-Tai frown. So I was worth nothing to ma? she wondered depressingly.
Itzal took out a pack of cigarettes from his desk and lit one of them. Dai-Tai had gotten used to the cigarette smell. She realized lately that he always smoked when he was stressed out or when the atmosphere was full of tension. "It was why I decided to take you with me to New Jersey. I didn't want your potential to be wasted because I knew you'll be someone great in the future. The moment I gave you the gun to shoot the murderer, it showed me that you passed the test."
"Test?"
"I could've shot him myself, but I didn't," Itzal replied. "I didn't know that he killed your ma, but if I did shoot him, I would be taking your revenge away. You didn't hesitate to shoot him which showed me that you are capable of defending your life to death."
Dai-Tai remained silent for a while. "But isn't it wrong to kill someone?"
Itzal's eyes darkened. "Isn't it wrong that he killed your ma? Remember that it isn't wrong to kill someone that killed someone from your family. We're taught from a very young age that killing is wrong, but it's society's lie."
The girl stared shockingly at him. She didn't expect those words to come out of his mouth, and she gaze intently at him to explain furthermore.
"Humans—people are animals. Since we can kill animals, we should be able to kill people. 'Animals' and 'humans' are both the same; we both breathe and die. The government only tries to keep us alive, so we can continue to breed and overpopulate as consumers. After all, without us, there would be no more fuel for the economy." Itzal was about to continue, but he laughed when he saw Dai-Tai's blank face. "I don't why I'm telling you this. You're only a child, but someday you'll understand when you're older."
Dai-Tai, however, understood some of the things he said. He was right that animals and people were the same. Maybe it was why she sometimes felt a connection with birds and even butterflies outside.
Itzal shuffled his papers and placed them back inside a folder. "You're not training without a reason. In a few years, your skills will be tested, so don't be surprised when I go harder on you. It'll show me what you're capable of in the future."
Dai-Tai nodded understandingly. "Does that mean I have a career?"
Itzal stood up from his chair. "You can think of it that way, but understand that life isn't all fun and games when you're adult. Everything is competition," he replied. Dai-Tai had been familiar with that line; it was told many times by her mother. "Pick a book now. I'm going to lock the door before we go downstairs."
The girl scanned the bookshelf. Most sections of the shelves were filled with maps and atlases. Many of the books didn't have pictures which didn't interest the girl. There were several books about firearms, so Dai-Tai chose a hardcover book about it. At least it had colored photographs. Itzal approved her choice. When he closed the bedroom door, Dai-Tai wondered if he would ever keep it unlocked.
~~~
Dai-Tai tugged the oversized denim jacket closer to her body. It was getting colder while she was watching the sunset outside in the back porch. The leaves on the trees were fading to golden brown, and they were floating down in the wind. Itzal was picking up the soda cans full of holes and pieces of glasses that they had just plinked and discarded them in a bag. He placed the brass bullet shells into a separate bag whenever he found any lying on the ground.
After Itzal was done cleaning the area, he looked up at Dai-Tai as if he knew she was waiting for him. The girl took her chance to tell him what was on her mind when she was shooting.
"Now that I know what my names means..." Dai-Tai began with certain hesitation, "I kind of hate it."
"Do you want to change it?" Itzal asked.
The girl smiled as if he read her mind. "I guess…."
Itzal pondered for a moment while he looked up at the orange reddish sky. A cool breeze blew their hair softly. "How about 'Daiyu'?"
Daiyu? It wasn't far from her name. "What does that mean?" she asked.
"'Black jade' in Chinese. I think it fits you."
"Daiyu…" the girl repeated out loud. Black jade. She liked the sound of it.
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