Chapter Eight

I jolted awake.

I sat in the corner of the bubble rocking slowly. My heart was still pumping faster than a cheetah chasing after a gazelle. The dream was so vivid and realistic. More vivid than any other dream that I had had in the bubble, however long that was. Sadly, my dad had really died. I wish he could still be here. The dreams always mean something. My brain lit up along with my eyes. The dreams were in reverse. The first dream I had was where Sara was chasing after me and then my dad ended up killing me. But I’m chasing after Sara now and I technically killed my dad. This dream would mean… Leila would go crazy? Over me? No way. But the dreams were right usually so I walked into Leila’s house. She was asleep in her room. Maybe her diary could say something? Wow, I had been looking in everyone’s diaries. Kinda funny. I searched the room for her fuzzy blue diary. I’d seen it before but she never let me read it. I found it hiding in her jewelry box. I picked it up and brushed my hand on the soft cover. I smiled and opened it. I flipped through a bunch of pages, checking the date. I found a page written on the exact day that I went missing.

October 25 2017

Dear Diary,

Today I found out some horrible news. Sia went missing. If you ever read this in the future then hopefully she’s back. It almost brings me to tears. Sara is also being annoying as usual. She’s kinda getting on my nerves. Today she kept on crying to me so I called her a cry baby. She is a cry baby haha. Anyways that’s all I’ve got for today Diary! BYEEE!

So Sara was getting on her nerves… I continued reading.

October 26 2017

Dear Diary,

Ughhh I hate school! Mr Crome gives us so much homework and Mme Lorraine is being rude as usual. But mostly Sara is annoying. All she asks is “Have you seen Sia?”. First of all, who is she to call my best friend Sia and second of all NO I HAVEN’T!!!!! CLEARLY I DON’T KNOW WHERE SHE IS! Ugh I hate that girl. Anyways, hope Sia turns up! BYE!

October 30 2017

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in a few days. I stayed home from school on… wait what day is it today? Lol I have no idea! I totally miss my friend and I couldn’t bear to see anyone at the time. Especially Sara. She makes everything in life worse. Sometimes I wish I could kick her in the face and claw her eyes out. I do have long nails lol.

I paused. Just like the dream. I flipped through a few more pages until I got to November 17 which was last week.

November 17 2017

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I think I’m crazy. Since Sia disappeared it hasn’t been the same. I’ve been very sad lately. Mom thinks I’m depressed. I hate that she thinks that. Sara keeps asking me if I’m okay. It’s not even her business if I’m okay or not! I just want to hide under my blankets forever.

I sighed. Me being in this bubble is making everyone depressed, sad and crazy. And all because I hurt someone’s feelings. This is literally so ridiculous, it’s getting on my nerves. All the mercy I had felt for Sara vanished. She’s so stupid, I hate her so much! Her sensitivity got me in here. Shouldn’t she just respect my decision to stop being her friend? I’m done respecting her. If anyone needs to show respect, it’s Sara.

I threw down Leila’s diary, stormed out of her room and out the house’s front door. I stood standing on the porch, breathing heavily. The ball was as clear as day. Somehow me standing outside calmed me down. My breathing slowed and my expression softened. It wasn’t Sara’s fault, was it? I must be such an amazing person that she just wants us to be friends again. Shouldn’t I appreciate that?

Maybe this bubble is making me crazy, as well. My anger definitely has gone up since I got inside this invisible ball.

I plopped down on the steps and held my head in my hands. I was so overwhelmed.

It was recess at school. Sara was sitting at the same bench she always sat on. I was sitting beside her, thinking. I heard footsteps and looked up to see… Leila? Leila sat down on the other side of Sara. She sat silently for a few moments, then to my surprise, she started talking. TO SARA.

“Hi,” she murmured.

But Sara stayed silent.

Leila sighed. “I know you hate me… but I couldn’t stand you sitting here all alone.”

Leila has sympathy for Sara of all people? Her depression must be BAD.

Sara on the other hand did not. “No, you just have no one to hang out with since Kelli’s sick.”

“I could’ve hung out with Sahar,” she answered calmly.

Sara opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“Anyways, we do have something in common currently,” My red haired friend pointed out. “Sia’s missing.”

Sara sighed, almost like a groan, and muttered, “What’s that to you? At least she likes you.”

Now it was Leila’s turn to be speechless.

“You took Sia away from me,” Sara whispered angrily. “You’ve called me a dork right to my face. Why are you now being nice to me?”

“I--”

“Don’t talk to me,” Sara spat. “I know you just want to hurt me even more.” Before Leila could say another word, Sara got up and stalked away.

Leila stared after her wordlessly.

I inched closer to Leila and murmured, “She’s going through a lot.”

But of course Leila couldn’t hear me, so it was all useless.

“Why have you left me, Sia?!?” she suddenly wailed. “Everyone’s going crazy, even me.”

But you don’t get it, I wanted to say. “You don’t get that I’m right beside you.”

And she might never get it.

I might have to get used to not being heard. I might never get out of this stupid ball of sadness.

I shook my head. I clenched my fists. My heart started to beat faster. I sucked in breaths through clenched teeth and closed my eyes tight.

As if on cue, I’m In Here started to play. I dropped to the ground and listened to the melody.

Everyone’s gone crazy. It’s been a few weeks since Sia disappeared, and now it’s getting to EVERYONE. Even the boys and the teachers.. Today I sat down beside Sara on the bench because I was starting to believe I was depressed. I wanted to talk to her about it because I thought she was, too. But when I brought up Sia, she blew up at me. She said I took Sia away from her. And I DIDN’T call her a dork to her face. Ok, I can admit I DID call her that, but NOT to her face.

A teardrop fell on the page. I continued looking over Leila’s shoulder as she wrote.

I just can’t do this anymore. No one is focusing on school and the teachers aren’t even teaching properly. I miss Sia so much!!!

Drip. Another Teardrop. Drip. Drip.

I can’t live without my best friend. I feel so alone… even Kelli, who normally is zen and collected in scary situations, is falling apart. We’re never going to be the same.

Drip. Another teardrop, except this time it was mine.

I can’t

Leila was trembling. She was trembling a lot. She dropped her pen. She flopped on her bed, closed her eyes and bawled her eyes out. Seeing my friend like this, I cried too. I was so frustrated. My situation is tearing everyone apart. Leila isn’t a crier. That was how bad it was. NOTHING was going right.

I screamed. It almost seemed like my voice was bouncing around the bubble and hitting my head.

“Ugh! Nothing makes SENSE anymore!” I shouted. I slapped on the ball so hard my hand turned deep fire truck red. I hit the ball again. It started to crack! I hit it more and more but getting happier at the same time which made me weaker. The ball turned back to normal.

Letting my anger fade and my sadness return, Leila and I continued crying, together but far apart.