After the duel, Shiva called a meeting.

“All hail Lord Shiva, Father of Destruction,” called a drone to announce Shiva's entrance into a locker room. In tunnels beneath the stadium, a small and dank locker room stank and dripped with grime. (In truth, the room was clean to the point of being sterile, but great care and expense had been spent to make it look and smell authentic.)

Three human figures in the locker room heard the announcement.

The king rose from his seated position where a second human had been wrapping his wounds. The king was also sterile-clean. He dropped to one knee and bowed his head to the small red dragon as Shiva floated in through the doorway on his hover disk. The wound-dresser, a short human woman in a black body suit and stood bowed at her waist. A filthy human male (genuinely filthy) sat up on a bench in front of a line of dingy lockers (non-genuinely dingy).

The filthy man said, “Howdy Shiva, how ya doin, boss?”

Shiva spoke quickly, telling the man, “My title is Lord Shiva. You say the whole thing, like Earth, Wind, and Fire. I also answer to Tiamat, Quetzalcoatl, Loki, or simply the Dragon. I will not answer to 'Shiva.'”

The man chuckled and added, “Answering to just Shiva is what ya just did.” The drone took a step away from the foolish mortal lest they both get caught in a blast of incinerating flames.

Instead of burning the sooth-saying man, Shiva let the insult go and addressed the room. He literally spoke to the room, commanding it, “Room, conference mode.” The room responded by glowing brighter and whiter. The dirt and mold all receded along with the benches and lockers into the walls. A large table and several chairs rose up out of the floor to replace the vanishing pieces. Shiva's red scales shined brighter in the new light, almost to the point where they glowed. The small dragon floated on his hover disk over to the table's edge. “Take seats, everybody. Gimme a roll call while you're doing that.”

The drone answered first, “Virabhadra is present, your lordness.” Unlike the pale drones who served in Odin's fleet, Shiva's drones were pigmented in Shiva's favorite color, red. Their large black eyes contrasted with their bright red complexion. Virabadra held a red clip board and a small red stylus with tiny orange flames printed on its side. On the clip board, red paper was covered with red letters and numbers. No one, not even Virabadra could read it. His perfect memory meant that he didn't need to read anything that he wrote, but he was very fond of the stylus.

The dirty man said the roll call, “Ya know me, boss. Mah name is Professor Omega, but ya call me Hobo.”

The king answered, “We are thine king, for sooth.”

The dark clad woman sat beside the king. She said, “I am your servant, Ninja, my Lord.” She turned her head towards the king slightly and added, “-- who does not speak in inaccurate Shakespearean English.”

Shiva said, “Oh hello Ninja, I didn't see you there.”

King shot a side glance at Ninja and said to her, “We speak as the crowds expect their king to speak, not as twas accurate in the script of thine bard.”

Shiva held up a claw to quiet the room, but he said, “Be quiet, please” just to be clear. When all fell silent, he continued, “I have lost more matches than I've won over the last billion cycles. I am accustomed to losing. It still bothers me, however, when I lose to Odin. That last match was terrible. The kid projected all of his moves, he had no follow through to his swing, and he – he just – tell me what happened out there, King.”

The king leaned far back in his chair which creaked in protest. “Well, mayhap I have grown too old. Be it not yet time to return me to mine home-Earth?”

Shiva shook his oversized head and struck down King's request for an early retirement, “No, I'm not done with you yet. Look humans, you should be best. You are the King, the Hobo, and the Ninja. You should be the three greatest fighters in the universe.”

Virabhadra interjected, “Actually Lord Shiva, none of those three careers are known for dominating in fair fights. The assassin, Ninja, is really the only one with any reputation for fighting, and her tactics are particularly unfair.”

Shiva's frustration from the loss was being drowned in the rising tide of a sea of excitement. “The tournament is coming up soon. Lady Isis has won this tournament every time for the last forty cycles. I want to hear some fresh ideas about how we can beat her team this cycle.”

Virabhadra the drone raised his hand and then spoke, “Her champions won the last four hundred cycles, my lord. We can deny her a victory but not participating.”

Shiva answered, “Good logic, Virabhadra. We have a Plan B. We still need a Plan A.”

Ninja said, “We could hide in the pond outside of her dojo. We breath through reed sticks. When she least expects it, we shoot poisoned darts out of our reeds at her warriors.”

Shiva said, “I like it. That's our new Plan B. The Virabhadra's Plan B is now Plan C. What is our Plan A?”

Hobo said, “I can pee in a jar.”

Shiva said, “I think we are losing focus on the goal.”

King offered, “Can we use orbital bombardment? Thou dost enjoy thine orbital bombardment, Lord Shiva."

Shiva told him, “Sounds cool, not honorable. You do not want to get on the wrong side of Lady Isis if she thinks you're cheating.”

Hobo said, “I can make a blanket outta newspapers and a hat outta my blanket.”

Shiva told them, “Okay, here is what we will actually do. We're going to pick up several new recruits on the way there. King, I need to train them. I command you to be extra tough on these recruits.”

“I shall,” King lied.

“Our first stop will be Clown Earth. I want to pick up a mime. I hear that mimes are silent like ninjas. Ninja, your task will be to evaluate the mime's combat capabilities.”

Ninja responded, “You cannot be serious, Lord Shiva.”

Shiva continued, “Hobo, you are going to be the team leader in the field. I trust your survival skills to carry us to the finals.”

Hobo nodded and said, “I brush my teeth with mice.”

“That's the spirit.”

Virabhadra raised his other hand. He had still not taken down his first hand, so with both hands in the air, he spoke, “My Lord Shiva, I should point out that your selection of field commander has never won a fight. Even before you collected him, he never won a fight against other hobos.”

Shiva said, “That was all before his upgrade.”

King asked, “Privy, what upgrade be it, Lord Shiva?”

Shiva's claws waved about as he explained, “We're going to use quark-level fusion to merge the best elements of Hobo's body and mind with those of another human. It's a special fusion technique that I created with sacred geometry through seventh dimension angles. I'm told it's painless.”

Ninja said, “Forgive me, Lord Shiva. I do not understand your words.”

“You'll see, Ninja.” Shiva whistled, and another red drone appeared in the doorway. The drone, named Makara, nodded to Lord Shiva and said simply, “Yo.”

Makara lead a short female human by her hands. The diminutive human was young, no more than two cycles old at the most. The young girl bounced up and down on her short legs. Shiva said, “I intend to combine Hobo with this toddler. Together, they will form the ultimate combatant.”

Ninja said, “This is a child!”

Virabhadra asked diplomatically, “Is the fusion temporary?”

Shiva answered, “No and put your hands down.”

King attempted to calm Ninja. “I have before witnessed fusions not unlike this. It shall be painless for both. The resulting amalgamations tend to prefer it. If they be both happy before the merger, their happiness is doubled. If they be sad, they come out with half the sadness on total.”

Ninja said to King, “They will lose their individuality, will they not? Is the loss of one life not a murder of this child?”

King told her, “Such matters are a philosophical quagmire. It would be better that you think not of them.”

Unconvinced but unwilling to question authority further, Ninja stopped speaking and watched.

Shiva stood up on his two hind legs and stretched out his tiny claws. He pantomimed reaching towards the hobo with his right claw. A cloud of coherent energy formed into a shimmering claw shape around Hobo's torso. Shiva extended his left claw towards the toddler and second energy claw grabbed a hold of her. Toddler said, “He-he-he, you're tickling me.”

Shiva brought both of his front claws together. The two humans were telekineticly yanked towards each other. Their bodies slammed together. Thunder cracked and Shiva's cosmic energy turned them into two silhouettes of white hot light which pooled together into a single form. Ninja, King, and both drones shielded their eyes from the blinding spectacle.

Shiva shouted, “I've done it! I have combined the unparalleled survival skills of a hobo with the limitless energy of a toddler! I present our next tournament champion – the Hyyyyyper-Hooooobooooooo!”