I gave up on New Year Resolutions a long time ago, and I'm not even old enough to smoke (PSA DON'T SMOKE). Everyone knows that the resolutions only last a couple weeks, even if you're dedicated, and if you somehow hold through to the end of the year, you're either lucky or chose a really easy resolution like 'don't die' or 'never get a girlfrie-' wait, what? I always get girls, why would I have that as a successful resolution? Hahahaha...*sigh*

Maybe people should choose resolutions that they can easily follow in order to not feel like they're completely failing at life. For example, if someone made the resolution to make a resolution the next year, then continued this until they kicked it (I'm told I can be insensitive when it comes to death), they would have an almost self-fulfilling cycle of resolutions. Of course, this depends on whether you actually remember to make the resolution each year, so if you're like me and have horrible memory, the plan fails. However, there is a solution for those with horrible long-term memory!

Tattoo on the back of your fingers "you dumbass" so you are constantly reminded of your inability to remember the simplest of things. Seeing the tattoo while downing a bottle of tequila at New Years might jog your memory, and you will finally remember to make a New Years resolution-save enough money to get laser tattoo removal surgery.