Tobias

8th August 2007

Rain. Rain. Oh, and more fucking rain. Enough rain, that any sane person would suggest that we were in monsoon season. Although, I should have known better than to expect a glorious summer of sun, sea and sand. I was still downtrodden that in all my 17 years, I had yet to see a summer that lasted more than a month without rain. It wasn’t the sitting indoors that I loathed, it was the look in her eyes that killed me.

Her humourless face at another day staring out the window, or re-watching copious amounts of eighties movies, was beginning to take its toll on her. I’d promised her days at the beach, exploring caverns, picnics and long car rides, with my newly acquired licence. I promised to get her away from this sinking pit of misery, into brighter and beautiful places, that were worthy of something as perfect as her. I felt her catch her breath and sigh again, it was so quiet that I could feel the vibrations of her heartbeat from the window seat, I could hear every breath she took, smell the sweet shampoo that clung to the loose braid, dripping down her back. Her warmth radiated from her, but her face felt cold and lifeless, a corpse preserved in beauty.

This was her fourth summer living with us.

I still recall that day every time I close my eyes. Haunted by her pale, frail body, as it descended into the depths. She seemed mythical and angelic, like a siren luring man to their deaths. I didn’t dare reach out to her, for I feared her omnipotent demeanour, but it was something about her eyes, the fear laced within a brilliant green, blackening as the realisation of fate took over.

My body reacted before my brain, I ran toward the shore. I could see nothing around me, everything was black except for the snippets of her paper skin, as it shimmered underneath the surface. I tumbled in after her, clambering and wailing in a haze, my eyes locked solely on her. She was thrashing violently as though trying to escape her ever-looming fate. She attempted to shout, but only achieved in swallowing more water, I grasped at her arms, but she jerked out of my hold, it was only when I saw her eyes, that I noticed she couldn’t even see me. Her pupils were dilated and cloudy, she was looking straight threw me, fear bubbling over the surface, every inch of her shuddering, I reached again, and she yanked herself away, descending further into the depths.