So lunch time has come just got out of class and funny thing is I thinkk I'm the teachers pet, yeah the teacher that is so "bad" me pet haha but hey at least I don't have to put up with any of his shit but eh its lunch time yes I think I might be haning around Cole. I just got my lunch and I walked over to the bench that was empty it was a cute little bench with trees surounding it and nice grass so I see Cole walking with some guys I figured those may be his friends. He seen me and smiled I motioned him to come over and sit with me and I think he was about to till this girl who was way prettier than me long hair, hazel eyes, smooth skin, she looked perfect and what I seen hurt, he was about to walk over like I said but thi girl was up on him flirty almost I guess that was his girlfriend I was so hurt I didnt know what to do and I still don't know it's like my heart is about to drop to my stomach like I can feel it in my throught I go home upset I cant do this. I felt like i could trust him. As if he would actually be there, I should've know nobody like him belongs with a girl like me I was never liked never would be I go home and cry not knowing what to do and as i have my music blasting so I could cry I had flashbacks of when I was tkaen of when everyone told me that I didn't belong it hurt alot and I had and erge to cut so I wiped my tears went to the restroom and repeated "Wanna cry I'll give you something to cry about" every times I cried but I didnt cry too loud cause I knew if I did the foster mom would come in and I would be in a whole lot of trouble I cleaned up getting rid of the razor and cleaned the blood I wipe the tears and head to my room wich I shared with my sister she was in there I smiled and this is what she said

Sis:"I know"

"You know what?"

Sis:"That you were crying, and I know why"

"Ok wise one why was I crying" I said scared she didn't need to know that I was hurting myself cause I loved her she doesnt need to have that image in her head or mind 

Sis:"Because, you miss mommy"

trying to stop tears from going down my face "Yeah I really do" I replied as I went to hug her tightly

Sis:"When will we go back"

"What do you mean?"

Sis:"When will we be with mommy"

"I don't know"

Sis:"Do you think soon?"

"I think mom needs to pass classes first"

Sis:"Ok"

We watch Tv till 4:30p.m, because thats when we have our phone calls to our mom and dad, yet it was dad who answered most of the time cause mom wasn't around him that much and every time my sister or brother asked when will go home my dad try to stall wich I knew ment not for a long time I try not to cry I just stare blankly eyes watering 5 minutes into the phone call I try talking without evidence of me wanting to cry, it hurt to know that we wouldn't be with our dad or mom.......