Falling asleep was once a treat. My dreams would guide me away from this existential nightmare. But lately my dreams are so broken and scattered I don’t want to sleep anymore. When I lay my head down I’m afraid of what will be waiting behind my eyelids. But I don’t want to be left alone in the darkness that is sleeping without dreams.

It’s awful because I fear my slumber but I despise being caught in the world of the awake and living. I just want to give up. I want to stop breathing suddenly and indefinitely. Like a gunshot to the head. I want to breathe my last breath painlessly.

I wish for all of this in the hopes that death is the most peaceful slumber there is. Not quite a dream, but not a lonely blackness. A soft, pleated skirt of a gentle purple hue, that drifts wordlessly among clouds that are the colour of pink sunsets, softly wrapping you into it’s quiet warmth. Leaving you forever in it’s loving embrace. Attached to a woman of ultimate peace who offers nothing but the comfort found in the folds of her skirt and love that will last an eternity.