vi·rus

ˈvīrəs/

noun

a harmful or corrupting influence.

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"Veronica Waters," My therapist says with the most forced smile I have ever seen, "How was you first week of school?"

"Really crappy actually..." I mumble while poking the arm to the chair I was sitting on. These sessions are actually fairly new and I have never done this sort of thing before this year. If it were up to me I would not go to them, but my step dad demands that I go since he is paying oh so much for me to get them.

She looks surprised for a split second and I don't entirely blame her. So far I have just lied and said I was doing just fine. For the most part the time I spent here was mostly just awkward conversations of her trying to understand my family life.

"What made it so bad?" She asks as she brings her right leg over top of her left so she is more comfortable. She smiles as she grabs her clipboard off of the table next to her.

"I don't know, me and my friend got into a stupid fight...uhm, I haven't been sitting with her at lunch the past few days..." I mumble, I am barely audible and it makes sense. I am not exactly comfortable with this woman, she doesn't know that much about me and I know absolutely nothing about her.

"So have you been sitting with other friend's? It is natural to argue with friends, plus sitting with the same people everyday is not a very good idea."

I sigh very lightly so she can't hear, "I don't know...forget I mentioned anything..."

"No, no. This is good, tell me why it bothers you why the two of you aren't sitting together at lunch. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

I nod my head as I make eye contact with her for a second before looking away again, "We've sat together since first grade...we've never fought either...Rachel is a sweetheart and never wants any harm to anyone...she has always been a good person. We started out as her thinking she was in my debt and maybe that is an unhealthy friendship, but it worked. She is my best friend and I can't imagine life without her...I really miss her even though it has only been like five days."

"Tell her that," She says simply, as if it is that easy. I can't just go up to her and tell her I wasn't in control of my mouth and didn't mean what I said. "That is the best way to preserve friendships. Talk about things, there are no shortcuts when it comes to friends. If she really cares about you she will welcome you back."

I stay silent for a few seconds. How can I explain to her that it isn't that easy. I have sat with Max and Rachel since first grade. That is twelve whole years of my life. I have never not sat with the two of them at lunch. I can't just apologize to Rachel to being a jerk, but also to Max for running off.

Me doing that ruins our entire system of how we work. If I run off that gives them the right to, that means we are basically in shambles. That would be nothing but pure chaos.

"I can't....I can't do that. Rachel and Max would never forgive me for not sitting with them. I have always yelled at them for not sitting at our table at lunch and if I am the one to break my own rule....that should be unforgivable. Max has more things to worry about than me not sitting with him at lunch...despite him putting up a front during class I know it bothers him that I didn't show up."

"Max? Who is Max?" She asks genuinely confused, I could have sworn I talked about Max at least once. Him and his brother is basically family to me.

I tilt my head to the side lightly, "Oh, uhm, my childhood friend...he used to live next door, but his parents moved to Europe and he moved in with his brother. To be honest I don't know why I have to go to therapy while my friends have much worse lives than I do."

"Everybody their own back story, Veronica. Traumas come in many shapes and sizes, don't tell yourself your problems are nothing compared to other people, because that only hurts yourself more. It is best just to accept things and try to make things better."

"Right...but...Max doesn't technically have parents. They never visit and rarely contact him. They have their own life in Europe and I am pretty sure they had more kids. Or-or-or my boyfriend, Troy. His parents died from a car accident o his birthday when he was five. He hates his birthday because of it, every year I take him out to watch a new kids movie to cheer him up."

"Let's talk about Troy a little bit," She says changing the subject, "What else do the two of you do on his birthday?"

"Well...we watch the movie then we go out to get ice cream. We always walk because I want to cheer him up, not make him worse. While we are eating the ice cream we rate the movie then talk about the best or worst part of the movie. There was ever only like one time when we talked good about a movie though. The he walks me home and thats about it. It is really fun...for me at least, I don't know he enjoys the dates."

"So it is just the two of you? You don't invite any of his friends? Do you ever invite any of your friends to join?"

"No. He doesn't have that many friends and he specifically asks for it to be just the two of us, which is sort of cute I guess. In don't wanna invite my friends to something that is meant to make him happy, since he hates most of my friends."

"How long have you and Troy known each other? Were you two friends before dating? How long have you been dating?"

"I've known him since fourth grade technically. Actually since eight grade, so five years. We were friends before dating. Then, maybe around July-ish."

"Has he been helping you? Does he make you happy?" She asks, leaning forward making it seem like she is genuinely interested in what I am saying. Maybe she is interested, maybe she into love stories or something along those lines. What ever it is, this whole thing is new to me. I mean adults other than my brother caring what I think and have to say? That's unheard of.

I clear my throat very softly before reaching over to the table next to me to get a drink of water. I gulo down about half of the bottle before placing it back onto the wooden table - which looks to be expensive. Even though I gave myself a few seconds to think about an answer I still needed more.

The answer was simple, of course he is helping and of course he makes me happy. The problem is I don't know how to phrase it without sounding sort of conceited. I don't just want to answer with yes, that might make it seem like I am lying to her. There is also the possibility she will ask how afterwards so I'll kill two birds with one stone.

She started getting impatient, but forced a smile and failed to sound reassuring with a "Take your time, sweetie."

I don't think that sentence has ever helped anybody's nerves or literally anything else ever. Despite it making me feel even worse I open my mouth and Bevin speaking, "He has been very helpful. I really didnt want to stay over at my mom's house so it was either go to Troy's or stay at my older brother's house with his girlfriend, but that would be awkward. In the end I chose staying at Troy's house, my mom was no happy about my decision, but that is fine by me."

"Why didnt you want to stay at your mother's?" She asks, asking about her, like she doesn't know my family life as it is. I already tell her why I hate being at her house, but I guess she is trying to get the most of these dumb sessions.

Despite knowing the answer to her question I shrug with a very much unpleased look on my face. Just then my phone begins vibrating and I stand, "Already?" She asks as if she wasn't waiting for this moment, "Oh well, see you next Saturday, Veronica."

"Yeah..." I mumble and head out of the small building. That was the first session that wasn't awkward or all about my family.... I stand outside the for awhile ad I wait for my boyfriend to come and pick me up.

I really don't like her. She seems like a nice person, but I don't think being a therapist is for her. She is sort of too interested in love rather than the other person's problems. I don't know, maybe I am just trying to find a reason not to like her.

Before I can continue the though a cold hand touches my hand and I quickly look up to see my boyfriend standing in front of me with some iced tea. I grin before talking it from him and giving him a kiss on the cheek which sends both of our hearts into back flips. "I love you so much," I says as I take the tea from him.

"I love you even more," He chuckles while grabbing my free hand. He was exceptionally handsome today with a black beanie covering the majority of his beautiful light gray hair. He wore an oversized black hoodie and I remember the same kind he wore when he were in freshman year. It had a sort of scary black cat with red eyes on the chest area, but it was pretty small. Then for his pants they were just some black skinny jeans plus his shoes were some dark combat boots.

I sigh as the heat of early fall hits me, "Why is it so hot?" I complain as I groan angrily, "This place is the worst!! A few more weeks and we will have leaves falling and cold weather..."

"Do you really think we are gonna get snow down here? Texas is sort of the worst. I mean late September and it is burning, it feels like Hell on Earth." He points out crushing my dreams of ever having snow down here, well it has been a few years since we last had snow.

I sigh sort of sad now, but not nod my head and agree with him. I mean, he is correct Texas does feel like Hell on Earth especially if you go to a colder state and they are freezing causing you to have to get back into the heat of Texas. I like cold weather though, if my friends weren't down here I'd definitely move to a more cold place. Anywhere would be better than down here.

"No..." I mumble before taking a long sip of my delicious iced tea that Troy got me, "But I can dream, can't I?"

A nice happy grin plants onto his face before he speaks with his very appealing voice that not that many have the liberty to ever hear, "Pft, I never thought of you as a dreamer. You're definitely more of a doer, but that's what I love about you."

I chuckle happily, "Thanks, honey. I think you are more of a dreamer though. I mean you never do anything so- Joking joking! Don't hit me like that," I giggle as he laughs himself and stops playfully punching my arm. "Seriously though, you're definitely a dreamer. I mean if you were a doer you'd have talked to me sooner rather than swoon every time I passed by."

He groans, but his face is a bright red and I can tell he is very embarrassed by my jokes. He is the type of person to get embarrassed easily too, I also really like that about him. He is just really cute and I know he'd do anything for me.

He simply mumbles a quick, "Shut up" and we are in a good, comfortable silence as we hold hand-in-hand back to my place. This boy is so perfect, my God.