“What in the nine hells is wrong with you? Do you know what your team and this mission have cost this office so far?!” Vinmil said a short time later. “You’re my best officer and your team is irreplaceable to this company. You have built a reputation for getting the job done, which is why I was comfortable in giving you this exploration mission. But you’ve allowed too many cost overruns and it is painfully obvious now that you have some major discipline problems with key members of your crew.”
She took a deep breath and her tone became more sympathetic. “Look, I realize that the Starhawk means a lot to you. You and your son have practically rebuilt that old ship, but Branic feels she is an antique and not fit for a mission of this importance. Moreover, I find myself agreeing with him on several points, particularly with the state of matters between you and Toli. That ship needs clear heads to guide her through the uncharted ocean of the third galaxy and right now all I see are some sizeable storm clouds and an eighty-year-old, rebuild ship that falls apart at the first opportunity.”
As Vinmil's words reverberated in Kreelin's ear's, she lapsed once again into an uneasy silence. He knew her words were an exaggeration of the truth, but he could not deny they were based on it. “Vin, please don’t do this. You know that the Starhawk is the best ship for this mission, no matter what our new supreme director thinks. She is fast, maneuverable and can hold up longer in a firefight than most of the capital ships in the StelCom fleet. You know that it is an exaggeration to say she falls apart so easily. Just because something is old doesn’t mean you throw it away when there’s a problem.”
Vinmil shifted her bulk in her chair and bobbed her eyes. “True. What am I going to do?” She crossed her secondary arms and with the primary one, she downed the remaining kaavii in her cup in seconds. “You have to see that this is not the first sign of a problem with the Starhawk. I have to admit however that since you began taking exploration missions no other vessel of its class has gone as far or withstood as much as the Starhawk.”
“Which is a testament to her builders and her caretakers,” Kreelin said simply.
“Yes, you and your crew are a very stubborn lot,” Vinmil put the now empty cup down, stood back up and slowly crossed to the nearest window, the light from which set her Shi’catee ablaze, filling the office walls with thousands of tiny points of light. “Kreelin, won’t you reconsider the path you are taking?” she asked at last.
Kreelin turned his chair towards Vinmil, but did not get up. “No, I won’t. I found that ship at the age of twenty and…”
Vinmil waved a secondary arm sharply. “No, I’m not talking about the Starhawk. I agree with you, she’s still worth refitting.”
Kreelin finally picked up his still untouched cup of Kav and leaned his considerable bulk back into his seat slowly. “Then what?”
Vinmil’s spots paled a little as she spoke slowly and carefully. “You were my best investigative officer Kree. You took that infuriating stubbornness that seems almost inbred in the baltek psyche and used it to bring down some of the biggest criminals the Frontier has ever seen.”
Kreelin’s fingers started to hurt again as he gripped the hot cup of kaavii he held and took in Vinmil’s words. His eye mass flashed a momentary yellowish red. He quickly forced himself to sip his drink, putting a lid on old hate and lingering fear. With some effort, he cleared his throat and said, “You know why I chose to leave that part of my life behind.”
“Yes, I do,” Vinmil said all too quickly as her eyes followed the steady air traffic over the city. “But you have to stop blaming yourself.”
“Who said I’m blaming myself?” Kreelin said emphatically. “Jesseen died at the hands of a butcher. He walked away from his trial a free man, case closed.”
“Kree…”
Kreelin put down his drink and sighed profoundly. “Look Vin, Jesseen worried that I was taking my job too seriously, that I couldn’t look beyond the next rap sheet. I made a promise to her before the trial that I would consider taking a less dangerous mission; devote myself to a life of discovery not just for myself but for all,” He finally stood and rubbed his stiff back. “She didn’t get to live to see me become the man she wanted. But by the god’s I’m going to do the best I can to be that man to honor her memory.”
“And what about what you need and want? What about the being you are hiding from?” Vinmil turned away from the window and looked at him with all three eye stocks, each a black orb of piercing concern. “When will you let yourself live? And what about your son?”
Kreelin took in a deep breath and shook his head ever so slightly. “Vin, I don’t know why you’re suddenly concerned about this but I’m fine, really,” Kreelin waved the databoard he held and smiled feebly. “Now can we please get back to these requisitions? I think…”
“Don’t change the subject,” Vinmil intoned sharply as she walked back to her desk with purposeful strides. “I’ve known you too long Kreelin. You cannot fool me. You have been riding yourself hard since the day Jesseen died. Averaus was brutal and I cannot begin to imagine how I would react if someone I loved had been killed the way she was. But I can tell you it would have affected me deeply.”
“Vin, please…” Kreelin said in a hushed tone.
“Kreelin you’re still grieving,” She said softly. “You walked away from the Dorrn case when we- when I- needed you most and I know you haven’t forgiven yourself for its failure. And Toli…it’s been seven years and he’s more angry and bitter than I’ve ever seen him.”
“Why are you bringing this up Vin?” Kreelin asked flatly. “Why are you digging in my graveyard?”
“I’m sorry Kreelin, I don’t mean to open old wounds.” She said softly.
“But…”
“Have you seen any of the local news nets lately?”
“No,” Kreelin said simply.
Vinmil turned all three of her eyes onto him and said, “Averaus Dorrn has disappeared.”
“What?” Kreelin asked in a startled voice. “When?”
“We don’t know for sure,” she said. “But his last remaining son, Ral, has recently resurfaced.” She reached for a small databoard on her desk and glanced at it. “From the reports, we’ve been able to get so far we can tell that he suffered some fairly severe injuries which have left him disfigured.”
“You think he pissed off daddy again like his brothers did?” Kreelin asked squarely. “He got punished a bit too harshly and then got his own revenge on Averaus?”
“We don’t know,” Vinmil said hastily as she put the databoard back down. “I just wanted you to hear the facts from me and not the rumor pool.”
“Thank you.”
“Your welcome.” Vinmil turned from him and sat once more in her chair. “I’m concerned about you Kreelin. I know that the Dorrn case did to you, your family and the crew,” she said crisply. “You leaving the team was hard on all of us.”
Kreelin sighted heavily. “What was I supposed to do? Dorrn had been given his freedom by the courts-the case was over. I had to move on. I can’t help it if Toli or anyone else still has issues. I have a job to do and bringing up the past will not solve the problems facing us now.”
Vinmil visibly relaxed then, her eye stocks swaying slightly. “Of course, of course, we do have pressing business here and now.” She reached out and activated her computer then and looked at the screen. “As I was saying earlier, something has to be done. No matter what the cause, it hasn’t been difficult to notice how hard you’ve become on yourself and your crew during the refit. Add to that Toli’s rather unpredictable behavior has been noted in several of the crew’s logs. Some have come to me directly with their concerns.”
“Have they now?” Kreelin said as he looked at the empty seat Toli had used.
“Yes, they have and rightfully so,” She said bluntly. “You have got to get a grip on the situation. This is a historic mission and everyone on that ship needs to be focused on the job in front of them.” She reached out and placed another databoard on her desk. “If need be you and Toli could see a councilor…it is long overdo. If you don’t…I will be forced to ground you both until you are cleared by a StelCom certified psychiatrist.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Kreelin said in a hard tone.
Her dark eyes drilled into him unblinkingly. “Try me.”
Kreelin returned Vinmil’s gaze and knew that he could not win this one. She was right. However, he was going to be damned before he was going to admit it, least of all to her.
“Please, Kreelin. Get some help,” Vinmil said in a gentler, concerned tone. “Work this out.”
Kreelin shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he put his hands behind his back. “Sir…”
She straightened her stance, blinked once and looked at him unwaveringly. “Is there a problem, Captain?”
Kreelin’s mouth went dry and he became still. “No, Sir.”
“Good. Now get out of my office, I’ve work to do and so do you.”
* * *
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