The water was warm, lukewarm washing over my frail body. I sighed and laid my head back, what have I gotten myself into? He's nowhere near my league, he's my head hurt just thinking about the possibility of me liking him. It's ridiculous. Absolutly ridiculous. I can't like him. It's against the bible.

 "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Chapter 18 verse 22." I whispered to myself over and over again. It had to be true. I could push him away. Easy. "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. Chapter 20 verse 13." I muttered. 

I take a deep breath. "Dear god," I begin, knowing that this payer has to be a special one. "Please understand," I take another deep breath, "That I don't understand any of this. I am learning. If I create and persuade a sin, it is all my fault and I do not deserve my place in heaven if I had one in the first place." The hot water runs down my back and torso, my closed eye's allow everything to be hypersensored. 

I feel my face begin to turn a bright red as I hold my breath for a quick minute, letting my body clense itself for only a second before saying the words, "Amen."