Does the Beast want me to forgive what he's doing? Or is he asking me to forgive what he's done? This is what I realize: This is all I have left. This is the only thing that's mine anymore.

I try to pretend that the cracks of bones being re-arranged and the soothing coolness of magic around my chest have nothing to do with the Beast hovered over my legs. Instead, I stare up at the ceiling, wondering if there's no roof and if it just extends higher and higher to the skies. Only shaky breaths help dispel the emotions rising up in my throat. Even then, I have to close my eyes because I can't trust myself to speak.

Because I don't respond, the Beast says nothing either. Eventually, I open my eyes again. My gaze drifts sideways to the dining table, to Yu Yin who still remains in a kowtow at the door, and--

The doors are not fully closed this time. From my position, I can see that the servants still wait outside, heads bowed down and bent slightly at the waist. 

I wonder how long the Beast has been in power and how loyal all these servants are to him. The mark on the back of Yu Yin's neck and shoulders glares at me from where I can see it. You always heard about it, back in the realm of Men--the scheming and underhanded political games the rich would play with each other. Ching made it sound like a pleasure to finally work your way up, like it was a reward to be a servant to the Beast.

The solemn rumble of the Beast's voice interrupts my thoughts. "It is done." His form hovers over me only for a moment longer out of the corner of my eye before he moves away.  "Guest Chao. Are you able to sit up?"

I wonder what he'll do to me if I don't. I want to say I can't. 

It seems like an entire lifetime away, but I think back to the previous years of my life. At the end of the ceremony for those chosen for the Beast, they'd return our dead to us if they were in good enough shape. Sometimes, it was a bone or two dusted with cinders. Sometimes, we'd wondered if it was one of ours after all, or if the Capital had just decided to send us something to appease the masses. I wondered if the healer had let me die with the rest of them, whether or not anyone would bring me home, and back whole.

Burnt alive, heat searing and charring my flesh right off my skin, screaming until I could no longer scream--swallowing and breathing is suddenly difficult. I close my eyes, turn my head to my right shoulder, and force air in. My fingers clench in a trembling half-fist, before I breathe a shaky exhale out.

"Find me a servant spirit who can carry him," the Beast's voice calls to his waiting servants. "They will be assigned to Guest Chao's courtyard." One of the servants outside calls back with an affirmation. "Yu Yin."

I snap open my eyes. 

"Master," Yu Yin replies, head to the floor, before she rises.

Silently, I curl my weight to my right side. My arm inches back by bent elbow. Gold jewels and coins dig into my forearm. My legs--oh my god.

I can't move my legs. I really can't move them. Yu Yin kneels down beside me. Instinctively, I reach out, my hand circling around her elbow. With her help, I eventually sit myself up, shaky, feeling the Beast's eyes linger on my every action, before he recognizes his own pause.

"Accompany Guest Chao back to his court. I will send Lady Mo to ensure that his movements are all as they should be."

"Yes," Yu Yin says quietly beside me.

The servants outside announce a servant spirit. At the widening doors of the dining hall, a young man steps in to immediately bow low on his hands and knees. He introduces himself as Fei Yi. His voice rises and falls in an intonation sweet enough to charm birds out of trees. Attached to his one head are two bodies.

"A two-bodied snake spirit, is it?" The Beast snorts a rumble of smoke out of his flared nostrils, claws clenching and tail thrashing in one violent stroke. He eyes Fei Yi from head to toe, baring his teeth. "Of course."

The Beast doesn't elaborate, if he did have anything against this.

"Wait," I call. The Beast turns to me almost viciously enough for me to flinch. "I get a wish, right?" Already, sunlight is patching through, casting on the shadows of the doorway.

"...Indeed," the Beast says, after a moment. "So a night has passed. What do you request of me, Guest Chao?"

My first wish was not to be eaten. My second wish...

I'm uneasy. Yu Yin remains beside me, but somehow any courage I had in bringing it up leaves me.

To my silence, the Master of this realm bows his head low from his shoulders, long snake neck stretching and his ox head. He doesn't move--almost statue-like, the scales of his skin decadent and smooth. His eyes slide shut. I pass my eyes over a creature who had at first seemed impartial and cruel, and now feels...

Yu Yin takes my weight easily as I lean into her, her hand immediately going up to my back.

"Don't hurt me again," I say. I don't know what to ask for.

The Beast's doesn't move for some time. Doesn't answer my wish with a word. Eventually, with a sweep of his tail, the Beast wordlessly dismisses me, and I leave with Yu Yin and Fei Yi's help.