He saw. He saw. He. Fucking. Saw.

I circled the small bathroom, staring at my stupid reflection in the mirror. The same red lines I have had for a year staring at me with a secret mischief.

I pulled at my hair, grunting loudly. I was so stupid. Was I even thinking?

He knew. He knew. He fucking KNEW.

I took a deep breath. It's okay. It's okay. Maybe he doesn’t know what it is. Maybe I’ll be okay.

I grip the edge of the sink with white knuckles. I took 11 months to get rid of Piper. It took 8 to find a church that was understanding. It took 12 to find a school that would accept me. To find friends that didn’t know, that didn’t care.

It was forever since the bullying died down and they took me in. They were understanding. They said they loved me. I believe them. They love me. They respect me.

They call me Pinny. They call me he. They use everything right.

It could be ruined by one person. All because I was caught in the. Fucking. Moment.

I hit the sink with every horrible thought, ignoring the pain in my hands. It hurt so bad but I deserved it. It was my fault.

I had put my parents through so much. I can’t do it again.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my clothes, looking at them with such a hate it was almost-

I heard a knock on the door.

“Pinny,” It was him. “The bus will be here in 15 minutes…”

I took a deep breath, put on my pants, tucked in my shirt, and stepped out, being me with a very guilty looking Liam.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his eyes showing very little emotion. He meant it.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Oh god. “What were those pink line on your chest?”

My blonde ran cold, my mind scrambled to find something, anything, that would suffice.

“I-it’s nothing okay?” I said, the angry in it wavering slightly.

He raised his hands in defense, “I’m sorry, its just like you used to have boobs or something. Did you get cut there?” I froze.

“None of your business.” I push pass him, grabbing my book bag from the chair in the kitchen.

“Okay.” He said, walking with me to retrieve his book bag which was conveniently next to mine.

He smiled and said, “Is that why you didn’t show your chest before?”

I nodded. “Why?” I stared him down, he bobbed his head in understanding.

“I understand.”

We both waited by the door, looking at the bus stop with a great and heavy silence. The awkwardness of the situation weighing itself on the small space between us.

We heard the beeping sound of the bus, we both walked out the door and to the large yellow car, tracing the leaves on the ground.

As the bus came to a complete stop, we were both restless for that trip that put us so close but, as my priest said, “You need to overcome all obstacles.” Pretty sure it wasn’t about talking about walking up on a bus with the person who just saw my only proof, except what was down below, that I was transgender.