Read 17 décembre noir :: Permanence

あなた自身を殺す!
“Kill yourself”

“Wake up, Rose!” Her fist slammed against the door.

“Shit!” I shot up in bed. Pain roared through my body as it always did after the jump, “guess that didn’t work.”

“Wake up, Rose!” Another round of pounding, “you don’t want your father coming in there do you?”

I slowly got out of the bed and made my way to the mirror, “that was so much fun.” I couldn’t help but smile brightly as I approached the mirror. “Bet no one could say they’ve killed the same person five times in a row.”

Days and days of living the same bullying on repeat would drive anyone mad. But I was not mad, nor insane. Just tired of it. So I stabbed her, stabbed her right in the eye with a pen. The way she screamed as I dug deep into her eye was a horrific choir singing my name as if it was the lords. And before she could react, I was back in my seat with the note flying at me once more. This time I got creative. I walked up to her, grabbed the paper cutter from the teacher’s desk, took her arm and slowly began to chop away. Being careful I didn’t blink, despite the blood gushing into the air, because I wanted to watch this before the scene restarted. Bone, bone is so hard to cut through. The next go. I decided to bludgeon her with my English book. I always knew English was a killer, fuck grammar, and syntax rules. Use it to kill your enemies in a language they’ll never understand. And I finished getting my aggression out by strangling her twice, just because I wanted to watch her turn purple, try to pass out, revive her, to watch her struggle again. I guess maybe I did go mad. “As mad as a hatter?” I laughed at my cleverness.

Chills ran down my spine as I stared at myself in the mirror, as I did every time this day repeated itself. But this time, it was different. Horribly different. Blood stained my legs, my palms and a pair of bloody handprints on my face. My mouth hung open as I looked at the bloodied vision of myself which had never happened. “Where, where, where?!” I swatted at my skin and furiously tried to wipe off the blood. “No. No! NO!?” I stared at my arms in horror, slashes. Just like the slashes left on Misa from the paper slicer. “.... How?” I looked back up in the mirror, vision in my right eye started to fade as blood oozes from the tear duct spreading across my eye like a blanket of red. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t blink, nor speak as I watched everything that I did to Misa mimicked itself on me. “NO!” I screamed and covered my eyes “restart! Restart! Restart!” I opened my eyes to the mirror and screamed at the foggy words that now covered my appearance.

ゲームをしないでください
“Please do not play games.”

I screamed and screamed till I felt light-headed, “What games? What games?!” I stared at the foggy words until they disappeared, continuing to scream.

“Wake up, Rose!” Her fist slammed against the door.

I covered my ears, stared at my bloody image and just continued to scream. Screaming out of fear and utter confusion. “Why Kami-sama?!” God was playing games and punishing me for not playing her game! I allowed myself to collapse on the floor into the puddle of blood. I closed my eyes tightly, “Repeat. Repeat.”

“Wake up, Rose!” Her fist slammed against the door.

My eyes jolted open. Pain once again roared through my body. I knew I must have jumped moments before, “a dream?”

“Wake up, Rose!” Another round of pounding, “you don’t want your father coming in there do you?”

“Can I even have dreams?” Tears streamed down my face “never...again.” I wrapped myself in my arms and started to rock. “That was a terrifying dream.”

“Wake up, Rose!” Her fist slammed against the door.

I woke up once more. Fear pulsated through my body. I felt something was wrong, really, really wrong.