The Demon society is a very strict one. There are rules that must be followed, an endless stream of papers to sign, definite ranks, discipline, order, monthly meetings, and of course, performance reviews. At the head of that society is Azazel, who rules fairly but in a strict manner over all the lower Demons.
There are several ways to grow in the Demon hierarchy. The first is to win the Best Demon Award three years in a row. That would propel you straight to Demon In Command. But it is so hard to achieve that nobody but Azazel remembers the last time someone had the guts to earn such a prestigious award.
The second is to fulfill every single task set to you, that way you can go up by 1 level every 3 years. It is the most common way to grow, but requires a lot of dedication as some tasks are extremely difficult to perform.
The third option is to provide Hell with a healthy food source. Demons feed on children’s honest tears, men’s unhinged fear of the dark and most importantly… The fresh, succulent, sweet taste of the ever elusive Virgin's Blood.
And bananas, of course… Can’t forget about that! Even Demons need a solid source of potassium.
All of this was common knowledge, except to Mike. You see, Mike was born just yesterday and didn’t know anything except the very basics of life: hygiene, the need to work, and language. His brain was almost empty so to speak, and needed to be filled with information in order for him to do his job. He could also use a haircut, but no one’s really complaining here.
Overall, that’s all that’s needed for one to live and thrive in the Demon society… Wait! One last bit of information I must foretell before we head back to Mike’s story. Demons aren’t born the way humans are: there is no mother Demon, no pregnancy, no pain, no labor or any of that gory mess. It wouldn’t be very efficient. No, Demons are simply born from a delicate combination of a maiden’s perfume, three drops of a criminal's blood, the sin of a holy man, and a big rock.
Mike, like any other Demon, was born from a mix of all these ingredients. The monster responsible for mixing them chooses to remain anonymous, withholding its identity as classified information that not even I am allowed to give. That person was apparently confused when it came to creating Mike.
There was more maiden’s perfume than usual, and only a very small sin. This change in dosing had the effect of creating a very nice and polite Demon, with barely enough evil inside him to sprout three lovely horns on his head.
Once born, every Demon has to undergo a special training while being closely examined for their aptitudes. After that, they are sent to the unit where they will fit best, and assigned a position until, after 3 years, they can start trying to climb up in the hierarchy.
This special training consists of preparing these fledgling wastes of scum for the rest of their insignificant lives, learning the basics of How To Be a Bad Demon and More! Based on the amazing works of retired Demon In Command Xepargh, available in your local bookstore for only $19.99!